Forced Reconciliation

50.

a/n: this chapter will be covering a ten day period post-miscarriage. So when i add "day 1" that just means however many days since the day of the miscarriage. also the pov switches back and forth so pay attention to whose thoughts you're reading. enjoy <3

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Harry Styles

Day 1

I didn't sleep last night.

I stayed up all night watching Andi, making sure she was comfortable and getting enough rest. She lays cuddled into me, sleeping peacefully with her legs slotted between mine and her arms tucked into her chest.

On two different occasions, she started crying in her sleep before waking herself up from the excruciating pain, begging me to somehow make it feel better.

It broke my fucking heart.

I gave her as much pain medication as her body could take before it was too much, but it still wasn't enough. Eventually, I think she exhausted herself back to sleep both times as I rubbed her back and played with her hair.

What's even worse is imagining the kind of pain she's going through mentally. Andi's fucking strong, but I know that the emotional toll this has on her far outweighs the physical pain.

The look in her eyes when she looked at me and asked me not to let her go because she knew what was happening is something that is going to be ingrained in my brain forever. I'm never going to be able to forget the pain in her voice as she screamed my name while I was walking through the front door.

I can't even imagine the thought of how she was feeling before I got there, thinking she was all alone and had to do this by herself again.

After that, I don't know how I'll ever manage to leave her alone again.

Yesterday feels like a nightmare that I'm waiting to wake up from. I started the morning by taking the kids to Shawns early so that Andi and I could spend the morning together just the two of us before the appointment. I knew she would wake up nervous and scared, so I had every intention to make the morning as easy as possible for her. I left almost two hours earlier than she had been waking up so I had time to crawl back into bed with her.

I just wanted her to be happy and comfortable, and instead, she's miserable and in extreme pain.

Right now, it's almost eleven in the morning. I'm expecting Andi to rest and lay low in bed for however long she needs, but especially over the next week. Nancy said that the pain she's feeling is similar to labor contractions and that even if she looks fine, she's most likely not.

Labor type pains and they just send you home thirty minutes later with some basic over-the-counter pain medication and a brief explanation on how it'll pass on its own.

It's fucking ridiculous.

Before this, I didn't really know much about miscarriages, to be honest. I obviously knew what they were, but until Andi told me about the first one, I had never taken the time to educate myself on them.

Since then, and especially since she found out she was pregnant this time, I spent a lot of time learning everything I could about what happened, why it happened, and how to deal with it if it ever happened again.

I prayed to God that I'd never need to know that last one, but here we are.

A light knock on the door as me turning my head towards it before it's being cracked open to reveal a tired-looking Skye. "How is she?" She whispers.