Forced Reconciliation

76.

Andi Styles

30 WEEKS PREGNANT

Growing up, I used to try to imagine what my life might look like when I was older. I'd imagine the kind of job I'd have, the style of clothes I'd wear, the house that I'd live in, all the places I'd travel to, what my kids would look like, and who my partner might be.

Everything seemed so mundane every time I thought about those things, though.

I was never one of those kids that dreamed of being an actress or rising to fame to be someone that everyone would one day recognize. I was always more of a shy kid who was completely okay with living a simple, comfortable life.

My imagination only got me as far as becoming a teacher at a mid-level public school, and going home to an apartment until I was lucky enough to be able to afford a small home. The clothes I wore were most likely thrifted with the occasional nice outfit that I had saved up to buy. I'd probably not gone much more east of Texas because I could never take time off of work and couldn't afford it, but that would be okay because I loved California and the life I lived. I'd imagine myself one day finding someone that I probably settled for, but they were nice enough. I always knew I wanted four kids if it were possible, and I knew that they would be my favorite part of coming home.

I never would have imagined the life that I'm now living would be my reality.

A life where I'm a designer of my own fashion brand that I own with one of my best friends. I get to come home every day to my dream home on the beach that makes me feel safe and cozy in every way possible. The clothes I wear are the ones that I designed from my brain and were handcrafted by my best friend. I've been lucky enough to have traveled all over the world, seeing places and things that I never thought I'd ever be able to experience.

I've found the absolute love of my life not just once, but twice, and somehow we've managed to create a family that I could only ever dream about.

Untraditional, to say the least, but it's perfect for me.

"We're here!" Ellie shouts from next to me as the car comes to a stop. "Time to go see daddy!"

I tickle her in her car seat as I unbuckle her, "Are you excited to see daddy perform?" She nods her head yes. "It's been a while since we've watched him, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," she sighs as I help her out. "He told me he would sing sunflower for me though!"

"Did he?" She nods again, her little bun flopping back and forth as she does. "Is that still your favorite song?"

Ellie stands holding Anne's hand as I work to get Rome out of his car seat now. "Mm... maybe. Or maybe Sushi!"

"You like Sushi huh?"

Ellie giggles as I set Rome on my hip. "Yes! Daddy's so silly when he sings 'scuba scuba, boo boo.'" She throws her head back in laughter as she tries to mimic the lyrics that have been her favorite since she heard them yesterday.

"He is so silly, isn't he?"

Ellie jumps up and down in excitement as we wait for someone to come get us and take us back through the side door of the venue. "I can't believe we're here!" Harper's friend, Alaina, squeals.

"I promise you he's not that cool, Al." Harper laughs.

Alaina rolls her eyes and thanks me again for letting her come. We didn't necessarily need Harper to come to London as a nanny on this trip, but Harry wanted her to be able to come and bring a friend so they could hear the album for the first time all the way through.

He got them a hotel and has given them a driver to take them anywhere they wanted while they were here, and even though Harper acts like she's not overly excited by Harry anymore, she's profusely thanked both of us for letting her come with us and has been raving about the album since it came out last night.