Forced Reconciliation

48.

a/n: this is the second part of a double update, so make sure to read chapter 47 before this one. be kind to andi <3
TW: mentions of miscarriage and pregnancy loss

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Andi Rhoades

"Was he crying? I didn't even hear him." Harry stands in the doorway of the nursery in our new home.

I shake my head, a sleepy smile on my face as I stare down at my brand new baby. "No, I just woke up missing him and came in here to hold him."

A quiet laugh leaves Harry's lips, "Baby, you need to sleep too. You can't take care of him if you're tired yourself."

"I'm just so happy, though." It's true. The exhaustion hasn't even crept in because I'm filled with such genuine happiness. It's like I'm running off of the love that courses through my veins mixed with a little bit of adrenaline to keep me going.

Harry moves to come sit next to me on the arm of the rocking chair as I stare down at the sleeping newborn in my arms. He's so sweet, all he does is sleep and eat. I swear I've only heard him cry a total of two times in the two weeks we've been home from the hospital.

"You're not tired?" Harry asks and I shake my head, unable to wipe the smile off my face. "Put him back in his crib for just a second and come out on the balcony with me. Please? Then we can bring him in our room to sleep."

I sigh, handing the baby off to Harry before he carefully sets him back in his crib. "Why do you want to go outside? Isn't it cold?"

Harry laughs as we walk back to our room, heading straight to the balcony that overlooks the dark ocean. "No? It's July, A. It's nice and warm out."

I don't think on it anymore before taking his hand as he leads us outside to the little outdoor couch we've got on our private balcony. There's a small glow coming from a sort of night light in the corner that illuminates the area, but other than that, it's complete and total darkness. I can hear the crashing of waves as I move to get comfortable next to Harry on the couch.

"Thought maybe the sound of the ocean might help you fall asleep a little." I nod into his shoulder, already feeling myself become calmer.

"When I fall asleep, bring the baby back to the bassinet in our room, though. Okay?"

He chuckles, "Okay, pretty girl. I love you."

"I love you most, loverboy."

Extreme nausea is what I'm woken up to, causing me to throw the covers off of my body before I'm running to the bathroom and emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.

This is how I've woken up every day for the last ten days since I found out I was pregnant. It was like as soon as it was confirmed, mother nature decided to kick it up a notch. She said "you only remember pregnancy as miserable? I'll give you miserable."

I throw up once before Harry's making an appearance in the doorway and going through the same routine we've set in the last week since we realized this was going to be a regular occurrence. He holds my hair back while I puke my guts out and then starts on getting my toothbrush ready so I can immediately brush my teeth, knowing how desperate I am to have a clean mouth afterward.

He's too good to me.

"Thank you," I mumble as I take my toothbrush from him and begin brushing my teeth. Harry nods and does the same, going through the motions as we get ready for the day together.

Once I've washed my face and pulled my hair out of the braid I've slept in, Harry kisses me good morning and pulls me in to hug me in the midst of the silence.