Aiyanna
"Say again." I answered after processing the information.
"He called me. The new girl, Bella. Her blood...her scent is too strong for him." Alice answered as she kept her eyes on the road.
"Stronger than others ?"
This time, Alice looked at me. "He could've killed her."
Such answer was enough to make me understand the gravity of the situation. I couldn't understand fully what he was going through nor know how I could help him.
"Where is he ?" I asked her.
A light frown appeared on Alice's forehead, as she drove as if she was above the law. It was a common trait of the Cullen family.
"He left already." Alice answered.
"What ?! Where ?"
"I don't know. He didn't tell me, nor has he made a decision yet."
The fact that Alice couldn't predict where Edward was headed only showed how lost he was.
"But he's coming back, right ?" I asked, worried.
The car squeaked because of the sudden stop in front of my house. Alice looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile.
"Surely." she answered.
~~
Edward
Six days.
Six days during which, I had been hiding.
Six days where pain, reminiscence and guilt kept torturing me.
Six days without an ounce of improvement.
Today was the sixth day that I spent in the Denali coven, in an environment as cold and as pale as I was. The snow around me covered the naked trees, the floor and the bench I was sitting on. The sky was pure, bright and unlike in Forks, the stars were more visible to the human sight. But no matter how beautiful the sky was, I couldn't see it. The sky was hidden by a face that constantly came back to my thoughts, no matter how wrong it was for me to think about it.
I remembered the sudden colors that appeared on Bella Swan's pale face as the blood rushed up to her cheeks. Or how the movement created by her, the wind or the people around her would make her sweet scent hit me like a violent wave in my face.
I shook my head, as if it would help me get rid of these thoughts that resurfaced again.
Instead, I heard the thoughts of someone else even before hearing the steps that came closer to me. I wasn't surprised to recognize Tanya.
I had stayed with her family for days, and yet, we never talked. My whole being was too tormented for me to initiate any conversation. She had prepared the words she would say to me, over and over again, until she was sure of what she wanted to say. I couldn't blame her. My facial expressions showed nothing but torture. A torture I didn't want to share with them or anyone else.
Tanya's skin had a silver reflection under the stars. Despite the dark night, her long blonde hair was shining as much as the smile she addressed my way. I couldn't deny that she was beautiful. But I had never been able to look at her the way I looked at Aiyanna.
Aiyanna's kind and loving heart refused to see me as the monster I was. A sense of disappointment and guilt filled me at the sudden thought that I might never be able to prove her that the trust she had put in me wasn't in vain.
For the first time, I had been in a situation where the demon inside me that only manifested while hunting, saw Aiyanna on his way. The sudden images of me letting my teeth pierce her neck had hit me so violently, that I had tightened the grip around her wrist to stop myself from initiating any action.
It was my fault. I was a fool to believe I'd be strong enough to protect her. I was a fool to make promises I couldn't keep. Not as a vampire.
"This is the face of a man who's having women problems." Tanya tried to guess, as she sat down next to me.
I smiled out of curtesy, but my eyes were deprived of any emotion. I was well aware of Tanya's attachment to me, but I couldn't return her feelings. Especially not now, that my heart belonged to someone as fragile as Aiyanna.
"You could say so."
I saw Tanya's expressions lighten out of curiosity, but her thoughts showed her disappointment.
"Did the Edward Cullen, famous for rejecting any women, finally found the one he's going to spend the eternity with ?" Tanya asked. "Which clan is she from ?"
The one I'd spend the eternity with. I wasn't granted such a happy love story. And yet, for nothing in the world, would I impose this choice on Aiyanna.
I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Sorry. Irina and Kate told me that I should leave you alone. They think I annoy you."
"You don't." I reassured her. "On the contrary, I am the one being rude. I am sorry, Tanya."
So you are not staying, right ? - she thought.
Hiding from Bella meant staying away from Aiyanna.
Coming back to Aiyanna meant putting Bella in great danger, and have Aiyanna become a collateral damage.
"Staying here doesn't seem to help me think straight." I confessed.
"I have to admit that I'm quite disappointed. I thought you were indifferent to women for a moment, but you were just indifferent to me."
"You deserve to be loved so much more than these stars, Tanya. Don't let my choices convince you of the contrary." I tried to reassure her, but then, I didn't think that she needed these words to be aware of her beauty and her beautiful character.
Tanya pouted. "I'm not used to being rejected. But well, as long as you found someone who makes you happy."
The Denali coven was formed of Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar. Contrarily to Carlisle, they got to this vegetarian lifestyle, slowly. However, their intimate proximity with human males, showed how much control they had over their senses. I would be too ashamed to confess my weakness to Tanya.
"You don't seem like you are decided. I thought that now that you had someone to come back to, it'd be easier to make your choice. But it looks like she's part of the reason why you are here." Tanya said.
Her words met my silence. My desire to flee was as strong as my desire to come back to the people I loved. Aiyanna, Carlisle, Esme, my siblings.
Tanya put her small arms around my shoulders, but I didn't move nor misinterpret it. It was a friendly embrace. At least, I hoped so.
"I know you, Edward. No matter what or who you're running from, you'll confront it. That's the kind of person you are."
I knew that Tanya wasn't just saying that to reassure me, when her thoughts showed her perception of me. Behind the cowardness I had been hiding behind for the past six days, I forgot who I was. I never doubted of my courage or my abilities to overcome the obstacles that would be on my way.
Until that biology hour.
But then, Aiyanna's face appeared to me. All of her facial expressions I had memorized, the sound of her voice that I could listen to everyday, her presence that brought a kind of warmth that my body has been deprived of.
Loving someone also meant being courageous. Tanya's words made me realize that I couldn't let cowardness control me. Not when it pushed me away from the person I had been waiting for my whole life.
"Thank you, Tanya. I needed to hear this." I thanked her.
Tanya gave a warm smile, and kissed my cheek. "Don't take it the wrong way. No matter how hurt I am by your rejection, I know when to retreat." she clarified. "Goodbye, Edward."
Although I didn't voice out my decision, I could see it. I could see myself leaving, and going back to the place I really wanted to be.
"Goodbye Tanya."
~~
Aiyanna
I knew I should've written this paper sooner. Fortunately, I was able to finish it at the last minute.
I hadn't been able to focus for the past 6 days. It has been almost a week since Edward left, and since we all heard from him. I kept worrying, wondering where he was and what thoughts were going through his mind. I couldn't understand him completely, nor did he give me the opportunity to try.
"I'm sorry."
That sudden voice was as recognisable as it was unexpected to me right now. I turned around suddenly, and found Edward sitting on my bed, as if he had been there for a long time. At his sight, my heartbeat sped up, not only because of surprise, but also because he was here. Finally.
I closed my eyes while inhaling deeply. As soon as I opened my eyes, I picked up the cellphone my parents had given me for Christmas and showed it to him.
"You don't know how to use this ? It has to be it, or else I wouldn't know how to explain how you could ignore me for a whole week, and not even send one message to tell me you were okay." I said. The tone of my voice was closer to the one of a mother, scolding her child.
And like a child, Edward carried an apologetic expression on his face. "I'm sorry for running away and making you worry." he apologized.
I stood up and sat on Edward's lap. My arms went around his neck, while I hid my face in his neck. I missed his scent, the way his arms welcomed me, his cold body that contrasted with my warm one, the sense of security I felt despite what he was.
"Do you want to talk about it ?" I asked, moving my head back so I could look at him. "I'm here to listen. Don't measure your words, just talk freely about what you felt. But if you don't want to talk, I..."
Without saying anything, Edward just captured my lips with his. Although it was quite unexpected, I received it completely. A little too much maybe, because Edward was quick to break the kiss. Although, to my eyes, it could be a short kiss, to him I guessed it was much more harder.
"I think I'm getting better at this." Edward commented, smiling.
Indeed, compared to our first kiss, Edward was getting better at being intimate with me.
"I'm talking about controlling myself." he said while gently hitting the tip of my nose.
I snorted, embarrassed, and covered my face with both of my hands. However, I soon felt Edward's cold hand take mine off.
"Don't hide your face from me. I haven't been able to see it for too long."
"Who's fault is that ?" I asked, reminding him that he was the one who left, not me. Edward sighed, but I smiled at him. "It's okay. You're here, now. Do you want to tell me what got through you ?"
~~
Edward told me everything from his inability to read Bella's mind and the feeling of confusion it brought him. Apparently, Bella was the first person he couldn't read through. But to be honest, while observing her for the rest of the week, I noticed that she didn't talk much, probably because she wasn't familiar with us, but her body talked for her. From her posture, to her facial expressions, it was kind of easy to guess what she was thinking.
But Edward's gift wasn't for him to guess. It was for him to hear.
If in the beginning, I would've loved to have the power to block Edward from reading through my mind, I got so used to communicate with him this way, that I managed to find advatanges to his gift.
Edward also talked about how her scent was like nothing he had ever encountered. It triggerred his deepest demons in him to the point where, for the first time in decades, he thought about drinking human blood again.
"It's getting late." Edward reminded me.
Both of us were laying down on my bed, and my head was resting on his chest.
"You'll be back to school tomorrow, right ?" I asked, which was answered by his nod. "How are you going to do ?"
"I'll have to stay away from her." Edward sighed.
Was it really a good thing though ? I sat up, thinking about it.
"Okay, I'm saying this as someone who doesn't fully understand how your desires for blood work, but I think that staying away won't help you." I said, which ignited his curiosity, judging by the frown on his forehead. "I think you should see Bella as a person. She's precious to someone, whether it's her friends or family. Note that I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, but I think that if you see her as a person and get used to her presence, you wouldn't see her as a target anymore. Maybe it'll help you find a reason to keep her alive." I suggested.
Edward stayed silent. He kept staring at me, lost in his thoughts. Was this too much to ask ? Or maybe impossible to do ? What would I have done in his situation ? My first reflex probably would've been to flee, too. But if I had to come back, if this was a matter of life or death, would I have applied what I was suggesting right now ?
"But again, I may be underestimating her power on you." I added, realizing what I just suggested.
"Befriend Bella Swan and get used to her." Edward murmured more to himself than to me. His gaze then focused on me. "You trust me too much, and I don't trust myself enough. I don't know if I'm able to do that."
"It's okay. Just think about it." I said, as I regained my place next to him.
This time, Edward put his face near my neck again, and breathed in my scent. As always, his lips were grazing my skin, making sure to keep a distance that was driving me crazy.
"Stay."
Edward looked up at me, surprised.
"Stay with me tonight." I said.
The brightest smile appeared on Edward, which made me laugh at him. It was the first time that I allowed him to stay, although I had no proof other than his word, that he didn't come in while I was in deep sleep.
"Your wish is my command." Edward said.
"Why do you like it so much ?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"I get to spend more time with you. And you're really interesting when you sleep."
Ashamed, I tried to push him off of me, but it was like trying to push a wall. "I take back what I said. Go."
Edward laughed, and laid down again, beside me. He patted his chest, as an invitation for me to rest on him. I rolled my eyes, and rested my head and my arm that was still in its cast on his chest.
"Good night, Aiyanna."