The following morning everyone raced to get to the downstairs bathroom . Fiona won and Carl stared using the sink , infront of everyone including Ivy ...
"Holy shit . Dude that is a mangled mess." Lip chuckled making everyone unfortunately look at carls private parts
"Oh my god." Ivy snorted
"It's all bloody and raw man." Ian added
"You shouldn't have gotten that stupid circumcision."
"Alright well I did and there nothing I can do about it now so fuck you guys. I already feel like enough of a freak being the only Gallagher who's not circumcised . Thanks for making me feel worse about it."
Carl then left the 3 .
"Maybe we said to much?" The boys agreed with Ivy, Fiona then left the bathroom and once again they raced
Ivy won
"Haha fuckers!"
————
Ivy and Ian were picking Carl up from school in the ambulance when Ian told her about how he fucked this lady
"I cant believe you screwed a lady. Your gay Ian."
"At least I know I'm 100% gay now."
"Thank god for that."
"It was grim the folds the hair the slime."
"Aye don't talk shit about my body."
"Well it wasn't yours Ivy."
"Yeah but—,"
"Just shut up. I texted Caleb gonna meet him after work."
"Gonna compare vagina stories?"
"That's exactly what we are gonna do. There's Carl. Carl Gallagher please approach the ambulance . Gonna need you to speed up Carl ."
Everyone stared Carl down as he reached the ambulance and got in with a bright red face from embarrassment
"You guys have already pissed me off enough lately , drive."
"Jesus calm down"
"Whats happening to me?" Carl asked , he was laying in the back of the ambulance with Ivy next to him
"Ivy gave you a jumbo dose of Thorazine."
"My brain feels like cotton candy."
"Yep that's the way your gonna feel for the next 72 hours bud."
"Thanks to Ivy! There's no way your getting a boner on that shit."
"Don't have to think about hairy balls anymore." Carl blurted
"What?" Ivy laughed
"You guys are the best."
"Thanks Carl."
——————
"Everyone wake up." Lip shook Ivy
"What's going on?" She asked
"That!"
"Oh shit! Fuck." Ivy jumped up from the sofa waking Ian up as she did so
"Holy Shit." Ian jumped
"Dont say papa never gave you a pet." Frank cackled
"Frank what the fuck!"
They all managed to shoo the raccoon out of the house and all managed to go back to sleep.
—————
"So what happened at work today ian?"
"Sent me home. I'm fine you know because I have a history of mental illness They send me home when I make one mistake."
"Okay i get it."
"No you don't."
"What I don't get how shitty Gallagher genes are?"
"No you don't because your not a Gallagher."
"Ian , lip has franks genes and they may not be as bad as Monica but—,"
"They suck" he interrupted
"Yeah. They fucking do."
"I haven't slept in a couple nights, and it's not because Caleb's been textin . I don't feel manic, but I never feel it when I'm manic . I just feel great or fine until obviously I'm not cause I did something crazy."
" when you feel like your meds might be ,like , out of balance , what are you supposed to do?"
"Up my downers , sleep it off see the shrink as soon as possible."
"Alright then you do that."
"I don't want to."
"Yeah I know. Back in England I didn't want to go to therapy but I did and I know my problem was not nearly as serious as yours but I went."
Ian then took some more of his meds the room was silent until Carl burst through the door
" how do you say sorry to a girl you gave a disease to? Flowers?"
"Wait you gave a girl what?"
"Gonorrhoea Ivy."
"Ah shit you get antibiotics?" Ian asked
"No I tested negative so I don't need em,"
"Oh okay but dom tested positive?"
"Mhm."
"Uh look buddy, if you don't have it there's no way that you could've given it to her ." Ivy replied
"I couldn't?"
"No but it means she got it from someone else."
"Shit."
"I was just trying to be a good mom Fiona!" Debbie yelled as she followed Fiona in the house
"You are so lucky that they called me and not the police and you realise they can take Harry away"
"Whoa wat happened?" Ian asked
"She was shoplifting could you believe that?"
"I was going to sell them so I could pay my night watcher and get a good nights sleep."
"Good moms stick around debs and going to jail was drastically affect your ability to do that."
"Shit Debbie what did you shoplift?" Ivy giggled
"Prada diapers."
"What the fuck they make Nappies?"
"Yeah."
"I did not know that."
—————
Ivy has been told to get a job or she was gone like everyone else on the house. Everyone was given a piece of paper of how much they had to pay Fiona each month .
Ivys pay was 200 which she was gonna struggle to get.
"Like I'm gonna have to get a job out here." Ivy scoffed
"I can help."
"You have a lot on you plate right now Ian."
"Yeah but I'm always free if it means helping you."
"Hey excuse me!" A man called "any idea who's responsible for all the anti shelter signs?"
"No idea , neighbours probably ." Ivy replied
"Not you guys?"
"No."
"Good I was winding up for a big old tantrum. I'm so sick of these phonies talking like they give a shit."
"You live around here?" Ian questioned the man
"I work on cermak. You know children of the night?"
"No."
"It's a centre for at risk youth. Some of those kids have no place to live , so I'm the mouthy asshole who tries to place them . Trevor."
"Ian and this is Ivy."
They all shook hands
"Partners?" Trevor pointed at the two
"No childhood best friends. I'll see you inside Ian . Was nice meeting you T."
"Hey Ivy." Fiona smiled "got a job yet?"
"Nope . You realise your putting a lot of pressure on me at the moment."
"It's not like you do much other then follow Ian around like a lost puppy."
"Jeez Fiona that was harsh." Ian scoffed
"That's what i was thinking , I'll start looking soon at least let me off for this month."
"Fine Ivy but only this month!"