(Brittany's POV)
Everyone is wearing bright colours, it's what you wanted my love. You didn't want sadness and mourning. You'd want a celebration of your wonderful life, to be remembered as the fun going, loving person you were. No sad songs to be played today at your funeral, you would want us to party in your honour. It's going to be so hard living life without you. You died saving me and our family, you were so brave through it all until the bitter end, I will live each day in your honour, I will continue to tell stories of you to the kids, telling them what a special, one of a kind person you were and how lucky they were to have had you in their lives. Life will not be the same, the heaviness of your loss will fade with time, but please believe me when I say the weight of the love will remain forever. I miss you, I have missed you every day since you were taken from us, but I promise to live life for you. I love you.
Your favourite song is being blared through the speakers as your brightly decorated coffin is carried down the aisle. You're laid before us at the alter, where your nearest and dearest will share stories, poems and your eulogy. We will cry tears of sadness and laughter remembering all the wild and whacky things you did. I promise we will give you the send off that you deserve, no expense spared. You were actually always so humble, even though your bank account, your lifestyle, reputation and name gave you permission to be anything but that. But you never let it change you. You will always be the goofball who smashed 7 mirrors as we moved into our apartment. I can hear your laugh ringing through my ears, it was a sound I fell in love with the moment I heard it. I miss it. You leaving this world has left a gaping hole in many hearts, but for as long as we are alive your memory will always live on, you are irreplaceable.
Santana hasn't been the same since we lost you, she's become withdrawn, hasn't eaten or slept properly since that night, but she's working through it. Tommy, you became such a huge part of our lives as a family, you were family. And what you did for our family that night in the warehouse in Lima is an act so brave and unmatched, we cannot put into words how we will always be indebted to you. Because of you I have my wife and kids at my side. But I am painfully aware that someone has lost you as their son, their brother, their uncle and their boyfriend. But that risk you took, was typical you. Always putting others first, not thinking of yourself. The love you had for Santana and our kids was unconditional, you'd do anything for them. I am just sorry that it cost you your life.
(Santana's POV)
I'm numb walking down the aisle. Every row of seats are full, around the sides of the church are lined with people. Everyone is here to celebrate you, your life and the wonderful person that you are...I mean were. It's been hard to talk about you in the past tense. I check my work inbox everyday, waiting for your daily report on who your assistant has slept with the night before. I get home and constantly check my phone for a text or a call from you. But it never comes. This is a transition in my life that I cannot get used to, I don't want to get used to.
Right now I am just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, not falling to my knees and screaming at the top of my lungs in emotional pain. I feel all eyes on me, wiping away their tears with the sound of my stilettos echoing around the church. My focus is purely on reaching you at the top of the alter. I get closer and closer to you, realisation sets in that you're lay there to rest in the coffin, I lightly stroke my fingers across the top as I walk to the pulpit to deliver a song and your eulogy.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I am found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
Through many dangers, toils and snares
We have already come
'Twas grace has brought us safe thus far
And grace will lead us home
When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright, shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I am found. Was blind, but now I see
"That was one of Tommy's favourite songs. He would always sing it whenever we were together, I don't know why he did, he just did. I'd like to thank you all sincerely for coming today—for sharing, and listening, to the voice of an aching heart. For those of you who don't know me. My name is Santana, and I am Tommy's best friend. If I were to think out loud, I'd say that my relationship with Tommy was more like a brother-sister type of relationship. It was one of a kind. Life changes. Radically. But memories? They don't. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
We are gathered here today in the memory of Tommy, so that together we may acknowledge and share both our joy in the gift that his life was to us, and the pain that his passing brings. In sharing the joy and the pain together today, may we lessen the pain and remember more clearly the joy.
Tommy was just 27 years old when he was taken away from us three weeks ago in cold blood. I refuse to shy away from the manner in which he died. He died for me, he died for my wife, he died for my kids. He protected us from all channels of evil which came into our lives that night. He sacrificed his life for ours. There are no amount of words or action that can even begin to scratch the surface of how I will forever be eternally grateful. I'm stricken with so many emotions, grief, sadness, shock, denial and guilt. But today, it's not about the sadness it's about reminiscing and remembering.
Tommy will be looking down on us all here today, probably slightly annoyed that we are all making such a fuss. He didn't like being centre of attention, he was all about helping others and putting everyone else's needs before his own. But I know he'll be internally smirking to himself as his ego will be stroked by the outcome of people attending today. Tommy was modest, but he also knew how well loved he was and wasn't shy to give us all a gentle reminder of that every once in a while. He wouldn't want us to be sad today, crying over him. I can hear him berating us now. 'Why are you all sat here crying like babies? Get yourself out there and have one massive party!" . Don't you worry, we will...just for you.
I had known Tommy for 15 years, give or take. Our dad's worked closely together within Lopez Corporations. Our families were neighbours for many years, Tommy and I were always round one another's houses. We went through middle school together, before Tommy's parents relocated to Chicago beginning of Freshman Year. I honestly thought my life was over, I didn't know how I was going to cope without my brother, without my support system, without my best friend. I remember the day you left, I locked myself in my room, I thought that if I didn't leave my room to say goodbye to you, then you wouldn't leave, the situation wouldn't be real. My parents were banging on my bedroom door for hours trying to convince me to come out and say goodbye, I refused. My abuela couldn't get me to leave my room, your parents couldn't get me to leave my room either. I remember you eventually getting so pissed at me, you frogmarched up the stairs and just straight up kicked my bedroom door in. My dad was so pissed at you for that, but you somehow made light of the situation and got yourself off the hook with your undeniable charm and cheekiness, as you often did.
So after sweeping my door off it's hinges, you walked in and just stood in front of me burning holes in my head with your glare. I refused to look at you, I think you soon realised that I was genuinely upset and not just winding everyone up for attention. You knelt down in front of me and lifted my face up with your hands and you gave me a smile. Just a small, simple smile. But that smile had years of friendship, loyalty and love behind it. In that second I knew this wasn't a goodbye, it was a 'I'll see you soon'.
You were the first person I came out too. You were only ever going to be the one I told first. I remember, I had sweaty palms, I couldn't focus, I kept playing with my fingers. Worried you what you were going to think or say. You flew to Ohio to visit me, we went to the infamous Breadstixx. I kept ordering basket after basket of the fresh baked goods, just to prolong having to come out to you. Looking back, I constantly kick myself for not just getting it over and done with, I was so bloated after all those carbs I had rammed down my throat. Anyway, the time came for me to reveal my secret to you. You held my hand when you saw the apprehension in my eyes. I looked up, right at you and went "I'm gay". The biggest, goofiest smile came on your face and you didn't have to say a word. I think on some level you already knew and you were the one who had been waiting for me to be ready to say it on my terms. You didn't care, you still loved me.
We spoke three to four times a week on the phone, visiting each other once a month throughout Freshman year, Sophomore year, Junior year and Senior year. I told you about everything, my cheerios audition, my glee audition, every fail, every pass I endured, when I first laid eyes on Brittany, my first kiss with Brittany, my first everything with Brittany. I remember there was one particular week in Freshman year where I missed all of our phone calls, you were hounding my ass and blowing up my phone. It came to my weekend to come visit you in Chicago and you greeted me at the door with your arms folded and a scolding look and you simply went, 'Who is she?" you knew. You knew I had met a girl. You were so mad at me, thought I was replacing you, but little did you know in that moment, fast forward 10 years and you would be the best of friends with one another. She too became your family and vice versa.
You were my rock, you always had my back even if you didn't always agree with what I was doing, nor my methods of doing it. But you had my back like nobody else did, you understood me, you knew when I needed care, you knew when I was best left alone. You just got me. After the death of my parents I changed, I pushed everyone away, became cold and distant to those I loved most. A lot of people left me in that time, but not you. You were the pain in my ass that wouldn't quit. Constantly checking in on me, making sure I was okay, even though we resided in different states. There were many times where I felt alone, but now I know I was never truly alone.
I want to rewind and go back to the first day I met you. Our Dad's had just closed a multi million pound deal in Paris. They flew us and our moms out on a private jet to celebrate with them for labour day weekend. I was already digging my heels in the ground because it meant I was missing the event of the season. 'The Lima Bean firework spectacular". I was acting like a brat, I thought I was going to be alone with the adults all weekend, no one my age, no fun. My mom told me to wipe the sulking expression from my face, that there was someone my age joining us on the trip, told me his name was 'Tommy." I sulked even harder, I felt like my situation got ten times worse, I was now spending time labour day weekend away from home, with adults...and with a boy!
My mom took my hand and boarded us onto the jet, I stormed off to the back of the jet too pissed to want to talk to anyone. And there you were...sat at the back of the plane with the same sulky expression all over your face. We exchanged rather hostile looks and sat in silence for the first hour or two. You looked over at me and saw I was listening to music, you were so annoying. You kept tapping my shoulder to get my attention, not taking the hint that I didn't want to talk to you. So of course, you yanked my earphones from my ears and went "What you listening to?". I was so livid you actually had the guts to do that, but equally impressed. You were like me, didn't care about boundaries, did what you wanted. I think I said I was listening to Bob Marley, your eyes lit up in excitement that you had found someone to match your love for him! And that was it, the beginning of one of the most special and remarkable and not to forget, important relationships I will ever have in my life.
You were important to so many people in this room, you loved hard and defended the honour of anyone you cared about. You were the most selfless and loyal person I have met, no one holds a candle to you, my brother. You were a loving son, a loyal friend, an attentive boyfriend and the best uncle my kids could ask for. Brittany and I share stories every day with the kids, keeping your legacy alive. They miss you, we all miss you. We miss the value you added to our lives, you will always be loved, never replaced, never forgotten. You are simply too badass for that, with an ego so big I am surprised we could fit you in the coffin buddy. I miss your voice, I miss your banter, albeit inappropriate and crude sometimes, but that was part of you, a reason why I loved you. What I wouldn't give to be enveloped in your bear hugs one more time, what I wouldn't do to share a laugh with you one more time. All I have now going forward are years worth of memories that will never fade.
For now, all I will say is thank you. Thank you for choosing me as your best friend, your sister and your partner in work and your person in life. Thank you for giving me 15 years, 782 weeks, 5475 days, 131,400 hours worth of unforgettable friendship. I miss you and will always love you my brother, until we meet again."
I fold my up my speech, wipe away my tears and step down towards my best friend lay in peace at the alter. I run my hand over his coffin and lean in to whisper so only he can hear. "Don't forget about me."
(Authors Note)
How are we all feeling!? This was quite an emotional one, I wanted to keep it relatively short and sweet for the penultimate chapter of my second fanfic. I really hope you guys have enjoyed it...Just one more to go!