One afternoon, a large package entered the door of our condo. And when I said its large, I mean its large. Its humungous. Its so large that for a second, I feared that Qing ordered another lifesize replica of a superhero iron suit. You know, because its not like he already has two of those.
But my fear was denied when Qing told me that content of the large box is actually a full drum set.
Qing: (chuckling) I promised I won't buy more iron suit until we got a house with more rooms.
Me: (frowning) That statement doesn't do anything to make me feel better considering that the museleom has about thirty rooms in it. (eyes narrowing in suspicion) You are not thinking of lining up the hallways of the museleom with iron suits, right? Like how the old kings did it with metal armoured suits they used in battles during medieval times.
Qing: (avoiding my gaze) So, the drum set is for JR...
Me: (amazed) Did you just evade my eyes and question? Wang Qing...
Qing: (laughing uneasily) You know, when I visited JR, he was banging on his xylophone so enthusiastically, I had this idea that he might like being a drummer. Thats why I bought him this drum set.
Me: (hands on waist) Set aside JR and the drum set for a moment and answer my question. You will not line up iron suits in the hallways of the museleom when we inherit it, right?
Qing: (sweats on his right temple) Well...
Me: (blood pressure rising) (turning away from him) I am calling your mother...
Qing: (caging me in his arms) Dayu ah! It was just an idea. I will not really do it if you don't want me to. I think its great that we are now talking about it.
Me: (pulling away from his hug to glare at him) Because I mentioned it. What if I didn't raise this issue? What would you have done?
Qing: (evading my gaze again) Well...
He is impossible. I can practically hear the gears on his head churning and turning as he try to reason with me why he would pack the museleom with lifesize iron suits once we got the legal possession of that mansion.
Me: Let me guess. You will order those iron suits behind my back and once they come to the museleom, you will reason with me by saying that they are already paid for so it'll be such a pity to send them back. Giving me no choice but to endure seeing them for the next forty years of us being married together.
Qing: (eyes widening) Forty years? Dayu ah, I plan to be married to you for eighty years.
Me: (chuckling sarcastically) You really think I could live with you in a house with hallways lined with iron suits for eighty years? Stop dreaming, Wang Qing. Either I will die from utter frustration of seeing those iron suits everyday or I will divorce you once I had enough. Frankly, its such a miracle that I am ready to endure living with you and your toy collection for forty years. See how magnanimous I can be? You lucky bastard.
Qing: (sullen) Fine. I won't buy more iron suits. But at least let me have ten bikes in the mansion's garage. Its quite a large garage and...
Me: And you will not stock your iron suits in there, as well. No! You will not build a secret underground space where you can play Tony Stark with your iron suit collections.
Qing: (scratching his cheek) I was actually thinking of building my own iron suits from scratch...you know, procuring all the machines...build a lab...
Me: Do that and I will divorce you AND take all your money.
Qing: (shoulders slumping) Dayu ah...
Me: Do you want kids?
Qing: (standing straighter) Of course!
Me: Then no, you won't have a lab to built your own iron suits. How the hell do you think you will have time building an iron suit from scratch while working to provide for our family and take care of me and the kids we will have? You might as well clone yourself first...
Qing: (smiling) Can I...?
Me: NO! Are you insane?! Dealing with one you is hard enough...you want me to live with more of you?! Oi! Wang Qing!
Qing: (wincing) Love, you are getting loud. And its you giving me all these ideas...
I laughed. I laughed because its either I do that or I strangle this man. Do you all now see what I have to live through with him? This man, your Baba, has too much time, too much money and too many plans and ambitions for my heart to take. He idolizes Tony Stark too much he practically wants to be Iron Man. And once Qing got his hands on his inheritance, he'll have enough money to jump start his ambitions to live a portion of the comic character's life.
Its true what they all say, money is the root of all evil. In this case, money will be the start of my nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I like living with enough money on my hand to live comfortably. Heck, I will never take for granted the fact that Qing and I never had to worry where we will get our next meal because we have enough to be food secure for the rest of our life together. As long as we will continue working and be wise with our investments, we will be fine.
But as always, too much of anything is also dangerous. Qing has money. And he will have more in the future. I'm just afraid that he'll start building his fantasy life once he got that money he will need to build a lab like the one Tony Stark has.
Once Qing immersed himself in that direction, what will happen to me and our life together? I don't think I have it in me to always go down to his fantasy lab and pull him away from his metal machines and projects. And what if we had kids? How will I explain to them that their other dad is playing Tony Stark? Heck, I don't even know how to explain who Tony Stark is, as I have never been interested in him or Iron Man. I am a Captain America fan.
No. Better nip those fantasy and plans in the bud. Before Qing becomes determined to do it all behind my back. Before he won't give me any choice but to just sigh and let him do whatever he wants to do.
Me: (staring gravely at Qing) Listen here, you are not Tony Stark and you will not live like him. You are my Wang Qing and you will listen to me. You can have your hobbies. Heck, you can have your toys. I won't protest. But go too far and you can fuck those toys you have because I will ban you from touching me. We will be a laughable tragedy, Wang Qing. Imagine people talking behind my back, saying I lost you on toys, bikes and iron suits. And you will be the eccentric millionaire who thinks he can be Tony Stark but will fail miserably. If that happens, I just wish your parents will not be alive to see us plummet your family name and reputation to the ground after lighting it on fire.
Qing: (grimacing) It won't happen...
Me: Yes, it won't happen because I will not let it happen. So you better recalibrate your fantasies, because the current ones will not come true. Not on my watch. Unless you are ready to marry someone else. That someone who will just let you do whatever you want.
Qing: I don't want to marry someone else! I only want you!
I smiled. Qing is still sane after all. I went to hug him and give his lips a resounding kiss.
Me: (staring at his handsome face) You will have what Tony Stark never had. A loving husband. A supportive one as long as what you want to do is not insane enough to destroy us. Believe me, you don't want to be Tony Stark. Tony Stark doesn't have Feng Jian Yu. (blinking prettily at him) You want me, right? You need me. Then stay in reality with me. Okay?
Qing: (arms going around me) Okay. I'll stay as Wang Qing.
Me: (smiling) Good. Now, how much is the drum set for JR?
Qing: Five thousand dollars. Its from a good brand, Dayu ah.
I clamped my lips inward before I can throw another expletive on him. Five thousand dollars for a toy for his nephew. I...
I sighed. Its his money. Its his nephew. Heck, I wish JR, who only turned two years old this year, will enjoy his drum set from his Uncle Qing. I hope JR will one day play that drum for us and encourage his uncle to play it with him. I hope both uncle and nephew will enjoy that bonding moment.
Until we have kids of our own, I know Qing's paternal emotions will be poured on his nephew. I cannot begrudge him of that.
Me: You did well. I hope JR will love the drum set.
Qing: (grinning) I hope so too. And no worries, it JR broke it, I can always buy him another one.
Me: (chuckling) Yeah, do that. Spoil the boy. See if I care. If he turned out as a spoiled rotten headache, I hope you will be ready to bail him out of jail as well.
Qing: (grinning still) I already started a saving account for that. The money in that account is for JR's bail if he got into trouble.
I pulled away from him. I cannot with this man. I really can't.
Me: Sure. I mean, its his parents' job to keep him on the straight line. Our job as his uncles is to make sure he won't stay in jail for too long, right?
Qing: (nodding) Yes! Thats right! I know you will get it. You are truly amazing, Love.
Oh my god he agreed with me! Somebody, save me from this man! Oh gods...
(Hey, he is yours. You said he is yours. Enjoy him. Lol...)
I sighed while watching Qing opened the package to inspect the contents inside and make sure everything was delivered in good condition.
He is such a stupid guy, and I am the one crazy enough to love him. Sometimes Wang Qing is too stupid for words and sometimes he is too smart for me to handle him. But everytime, I just can't win against him. I am crazy for him. And in all honesty, I love even his stupid side. Stupid or smart, he's always lovable.
And I still wish everyone has a Wang Qing in their life like I do.
See you all again.