-today is the fourth of July, the only thing we are allowed to celebrate is Conner Kent's "birth"day-
"Why?" Conner asked for about the millionth time this hour.
"Because it's your birthday!"
"Why? I was never born."
"No, but you were freed from CADMUS one year ago tomorrow!" Dick said, he'd gotten used to breaking things down for Conner, they had to explain multiple things to him an hour, if only for Jason and Tim's weird taste in movie/book references.
"And here, on earth— or at least widespread western culture— we celebrate people coming into this world." Tim explained, flicking out his ballpoint pen and starting a list.
Conner frowned in confusion. "Why?"
"To show we appreciate them."
"Oh." The clone thought this over for a while. "Why?"
"Why do we appreciate you?" Dick asked. "Because you're our brother!"
"So brothers are required to appreciate each other?"
Jason snorted. "What, have you not been appreciating us?"
"No. I like you, I appreciate what you've done." Conner replied. "I didn't know that's because I was supposed to."
"Well you don't have to love your brothers, you just do." Tim explained, watching Jason pull a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and chug it straight. "...normally..."
Jason hiccuped a little, spilling a little juice on his shirt. He nonchalantly recapped the juice and tossed it back in the fridge, removing his shirt to toss in the hamper. "Anyways, we gotta celebrate little Connie's first birthday!"
Tim, still disgusted, raised his list to block Jason from his view. "We'll need cake— Alfred can handle that— presents, decorations, all that stuff."
"Like the decorations from Wally's party?" Conner asked.
"Yeah." Dick agreed. "Basically, but Bruce makes us do everything classier."
Conner considered this. "No balloons."
"Why not?" Tim asked, annotating his previous list for details: vanilla cake, maybe pie, no balloons apparently...
"Con hates the sound."
"And the texture! I hate them!"
"I will buy a hundred balloons just for you." Jason promised.
"Don't." Conner ordered. "I hate them."
"That will be your present."
"I hate balloons!"
"The latex ones that squeak super loud..."
"I HATE THEM!" Conner yelled, causing the glasses on the drip rack to shudder.
"Jay, quit being a goonfuck." Tim scoffed. Those two were Always at each others throats, Jason had decided he knew Conner well enough to disregard personal safety and openly agitate his new brother. Conner was no less upset-able since joining the family, except that he complained less when they called him 'little brother', and was more okay with physical touching.
"I'm just playing with 'im!"
"You're a full grown adult!" Dick scoffed, wrapping his arms around Conner's midsection. "At least, legally."
"Hey! I'm an adult!" Jason protested, digging into a stale half-bag of tortilla chips. "You two are the babies!"
"Me and R— Dick aren't babies. Technically, we're classified as adolescents." Conner corrected, not acknowledging that Dick had clambered up his back for a better view.
"Oh Sorry." Jason said sarcastically, accidentally tossing crumbs over Tim's list-writing-station as he gestured. "I'm an adult, you two are just wittle adowescents."
Tim, the hooded rat that he is, seriously debated eating the chip crumbs. He decided it wasn't worth it. "Yeah, you sound real adult."
"I am an adult! I'm eighteen now!" Jason stubbornly objected. "I'm a graduate— look, watch this: Go to your rooms!"
Conner almost did it on impulse, but Dick grabbed a fistful of his hair like Remy from Ratatouille. "Nice try, Jay! You cant Send us to our rooms! Only Bruce and Alfred can! And Damian on special occasions."
Jason Tutted. "Do I need to put you two in time out for non-compliance?"
"DAAADDD! Jay's trying to abuse his power!" Dick yelled in vein. Bruce couldn't hear. Alfred could hear, but he was definitely avoiding this whole scenario.
"Jay, you can't send your little siblings to their rooms, trust me, I've asked. Ive tried." Tim explained, rolling his eyes.
"Oh yeah? Go to your room!"
"Jason, you can't do that. I'm your OLDER brother."
"You're grounded!"
"You wanna see who actually gets grounded?" Tim asked tiredly, standing and taking off his blue light glasses.
"OOOOHH!" Dick yelled. "ADULT V ADULT!"
Conner slid himself out from under Dick and fled to go pet his dog, not wanting to be involved in whatever was about to happen.
————————————doggie interlude————————————
Wolf had gotten up for water, but loyally trotted up as Conner entered, giving him the customary sniff-over. Even though the others were either on patrol or in bed, Conner was neither; luckily, Wolf had no plans either. Wolf, Ace, and Titus basically lived in the batcave during the summer, it was probably the coldest place in Gotham, especially for such a fluffy wolf.
He sat on the cold stone floor and grabbed Wolf's shedding brush for their a groom. Wolf sat obediently, letting his fur be brushed off, until he felt his biped lean against him. He nudged Conner with his nose, but he stayed asleep. Wolf sighed deeply and laid on the floor, reluctantly letting Conner use him as a teddy bear.
Ace and Titus eventually joined the pile, since packs gotta stick together.
———————————doggie interlude over————————————
"It's from my mother. She insisted on sending a card with it too..." Clark set down The pie tin on the table, and a sealed yellow envelope next to it.
Conner had never had pie, But he'd heard it was good. He took the envelope first, and opened it. It took a little work to decipher the handwriting in the letter:
—
Dear Conner,
We have not met yet, Your Father didn't tell us about you until recently, but we'd be thrilled to meet you! With the kind mr. Wayne as a (potential) son-in-law, we are excited to gain you and the Wayne children as Grandchildren!
Sincerely,
Martha (grandma) Kent & Jonathan (grandpa) Kent
P.S. tell your dad (Kal) that he has a lot to explain! Love, big-cousin Kara :)
—
"Who's Kara?" Conner asked.
"Kara?" Clark read the letter over his shoulder and groaned. "Ma..."
"Everything okay?" Bruce asked, just returning from an early virtual meeting upstairs.
"Ma's really pressuring for grandkids, that's all."
Bruce hummed. "Lucky, soon she'll have five of them. Ten if you count Duke, Terry, and the girls..."
"We're still talking about it." Clark hissed.
"Ive practically picked out the ring I want."
Conner just sat there, not understanding any of the adult talk, still wondering who Kara is.
"hhaapppPYYY BIIRRTHHDAAAYY!" Dick sprinted down the hall and threw himself around Conner's shoulders. "Happy first birthday, Conner."
"Okay." He replied.
"I'm gonna bring my present for you to open with the team— oop, I gotta wrap it— wait, is that (grand)Ma's pie?!"
"Dick, she's not your grandma." Bruce reminded.
"Yet." Dick argued.
"Good morning, Kent specifically." Damian said, entering the kitchen and heading for a glass of water. "Kent jr. Specifically."
"Mornin' Dami." Dick called. "It's Conner's birthday."
"Of course it is." Damian replied snippily. "Kent, your gifts are in your room. Do not open them near windows, they are not technology the public has access to."
"What did you..." Bruce gave up on the question. He has five kids, the regulations were turning into general requests, like: 'Please don't take restricted government files to school'.
"Oooh, Dami got you multiple things!" Dick said. "Hey Clark."
"Hi."
"Guess what? Alfreds gonna put a #1 on Conner's cake because he's one!" Dick was overcome with elation, he and Wally had discussed this for months. "It's great! Ugh! To think that last forth of July we saw this one take his first steps! I mean, we freed him. I guess you could say me, Wally, and Kaldur birthed him from his pod, but that's kinda weird."
"Oh, Kent jr. Open your presents early. They're kryptonian-friendly headphones, they'll help you survive the fireworks later." Damian added offhandedly. "There will be a swarm of Drunks putting people in danger later to celebrate a country built on racism..."
"The GCPD will handle most of that, Clark and I will also be on call. you boys just stay here with Conner tonight."
"Heyy, It's Connie's big day." Jason smacked the back of Conner's hear, hurting his palm. "You feel any older?"
"I feel crowded." Conner admitted.
"Welp, here you go, I didn't have time to wrap it cause I invited Roy to go shopping, and we ended up getting pretty highhhhiii Clark, how's it goin?"
"Gentlemen, we see here: a confident adult who last a fight to me and is scared to admit he smokes weed in front of older adults." Tim said, dragging himself in.
"Uh, we see here a Dweeb-ass circus clown." Jason retorted, very maturely.
"Here, Don't open it here cause I don't wanna get in trouble." Tim Passed Conner a gift bag. "Happy birthday."
"Okay." Conner said, still unsure hoe to respond to that.
Dick ruffled his big/little brothers hair and checked his phone. "OH SNAP! M'gann made cupcakes for the party! C'mon, let's head over right now!"