Roman sat in his office enjoying herbal tea when the door was banged open. He was so startled that the tea cup tilted and spilled on the documents arranged on the table.
Horrified he stared at it. It was the fourth time of the week that you ruined his hard work by barging in unannounced and giving him the shock of his whole life.
"Roman c'mon! I'm not a wild animal to be kept locked." You snarled at him, slamming your hand on the table.
"I can't help you with that." Roman for the hundredth time repeated tiredly.
"Please, Roman. I won't be able to see him for months if I miss today. Please do something."
Roman looked at you and adjusted his glasses glancing away. "Child, really I can't help. I'm a Healer, not a Magician. The multiple-layered barrier is not my cup of tea."
You walked towards the window and as soon as your hand touched the wall a violent spark flew off and burnt your hand. You jerked away with a pained hiss.
Son of a-- that bastard outdid himself.
Your shoulder slumped. Your magic status was way too low to break through the barrier placed by the high-ranking magician. That's why you came to Roman as last resort. But he was no use.
Anastacius was true to his words. He indirectly kept you locked in the tower.
Ether walked to you with a limp and rubbed his whiskers against your outstretched palm apologetically. His hind legs were fractured and completely shattered. But with your healing magic, you were able to speed up the healing process. Even Ether got hurt trying to cross the barrier so there was no way you could bypass it thus you were stuck here for the past few weeks.
You looked out the window. Only a few more hours and they would depart. You didn't want to miss the chance.
And you had promised Claude that you would be there.
You bit your lips, chewing on them in agitation. How the hell do you break the spell cast by the head Magician? If you could somehow get him to break the spell it would help. But he wouldn't go against the order of the future Emperor.
You groaned in frustration.
Roman rearranged the documents wistfully gazing at his ruined work and imagining the work he had to redo again. His eyes followed your movements as you paced around the room in agitation.
"But if you want I'd negotiate with Head Magician Evan but I can't guarantee if he would cave in so don't get your hopes up."
You paused and turned to him with a big grin. "Thanks, old man! Maybe you aren't too bad after all!"
"I take it back! I won't go!" Roman grumbled as he sped and walked towards the exit. You followed him with a grin.
"Oh, you can't go back on your words now. It was a compliment. Compliment, old man. Feel fluttered, not angry!"
Roman left and you anxiously waited for him.
The blaring of war horns startled you and you anxiously looked back to the door.
"C'mon old man, hurry up."
Another horn sounded and your impatience thinned until it disappeared.
You couldn't wait long. You got close to the window and watched the protective magic shimmering on its frame.
Your hand reached inside your pocket. A green crystal softly glowed in your palm when brought it out.
It was a magic crystal. And a strong one at that.
What you were doing was risky. Really risky. If you ate it and forced out a small crack in the barrier, you could squeeze yourself out. But it was a risky move, one you didn't want to take. It would end up destroying your magic core and temporarily shutting it down. You wouldn't be able to use magic for months.
But...
You bit your lips. The memory of the night Claude requested you to come to see him off came to mind. You wouldn't break your promise even if it meant doing this.
Ether growled rapidly shaking his head. Even he knew the risks. Magic was a complicated thing. It was like playing with fire. You have to be careful of how you use it.
The crystal mana would increase your magic but at the cost of damaging your body. Of course, Ether knew it. Also, the pain that would come along if you were tired to go against its law. But you had to take the risk.
"Ether, I've to do this. Please don't stop me. I know it's risky but it's worth it." You petted Ether's head and he dug his claws into your skin still opposing the idea.
"I won't die! Stop worrying, Ether." You scratched his neck and his anxious heterochromia eyes looked at you pleadingly. You smiled at him and repeated more firmly. "I won't die."
You trembled even though you were determined to go through this. You tossed the mana crystal in your mouth and clamped on it. The crystal broke in your mouth with a loud crunching sound. Your body jolted violently like you were zipped with electricity and you felt a strong magic travel down your body.
Placing your hand on the window frame you closed your eyes and forced against the barrier. Sparks flew off from the contact and the sound of glass cracking filled the room.
You gritted your teeth and pushed forward. C'mon, dammit!
Your consciousness dipped and for a moment you saw a face within your confines of the mind and she looked like you but older, duller and tired.
The image broke and a crack formed in the barrier. The pain increased but you held onto your fading mind desperately and squeezed out, throwing yourself out the window
Your heart pounded in relief and excitement. And pain. Blood trickle down your nose because of the excess use of magic. You hurriedly wiped it away.
An indigo butterfly flew by and your eyes followed its moment in confusion and recognition.
But you didn't have time to question it. You used your remaining magic to cushion your fall and gracefully landed on the ground in a crouch position.
"Ha. Take that you to dog bastard!" You excitedly flipped the middle finger at the Alexandra Palace where you knew Anastacius lived. "Eat shit!"
You moved forward only to sway in disorientation. The side-effect overusing of your magic gate of showing its ugly face. You shook your head. Just a little more. Just hold on to my mind!
"Please wait for me, Claude." And with that, you ran ignoring the zipping pain skyrocketing in your body.
****
Claude watched from the side as the knights were summoned. They stood in order. He stood before them along with the squadron leaders. Felix was a few meters away chatting with other knights. Knights looked his way with admiring eyes but he ignored them. He didn't have the energy to entertain them.
Horns blared around him and he was irritated. He hated crowds. Loud noises that associated with them. So he stood to the side, away from the sight.
"With your will and determination, enemies would bow to you. You knights of Obelia are the Kingdom's pride so don't let it down. Go and pursue victory!"
His father was giving a speech on top of the balcony in his all glory. Other important figures were standing beside him while the knights watched them from the courtyard. He was supposed to be there but he had slipped past them and joined the knights down here.
He wasn't going to be part of their pretend. He had enough of that at the dinner table where he was promptly poisoned. Fortunately, his body was pretty used to poisonous things and it wasn't his first time either.
But he hasn't expected the poison to be this potent to make him sick within 10 seconds of consumption. It took all his willpower not to collapse in front of the envoys and make a scene.
He had succeeded much to the chagrin of his family. For once they felt the humiliation of failure. It was a nice feeling for once to see his damned family be a letdown.
As he turned around he could his brother was smirking at him. They had planned his demise. He was sent as a scapegoat to be sacrificed on the battlefield.
But they were heavily underestimating him. Didn't he last night deposed their minions that came to assassinate him? They should've learnt their lesson.
He stared at him with indifferent eyes and looked away. Of course, as he expected it pissed his brother off. He didn't even try to hide the smirk on his face. From the corner of his eyes, he could see him fuming.
It always worked well to piss his brother off when he ignored him. He was an expert at that. After all, he was doing it since he was a mere kid.
Ignoring the sneering face, disdainful eyes and cruel words. All this year's practice bore him good fruit.
Suddenly the crowds cheered. He felt his head pound. He didn't get enough sleep as of late. His eyes were pulsing along his head. He so badly wanted to tell them to shut it but the knights needed the morale for the war. And he didn't want to garner unnecessary attention.
He still felt slightly sick. But he had regained most of his health. He would be fine. He would manage it somehow like he always did.
"Your highness!"
Penelope zoomed towards him with a shy smile as she stopped before him looking at him underneath the lashes.
"Here, I brought this for you." She pulled out a red piece of cloth.
The red scrap of cloth was given as a for victory and safe return.
One was already tied to his left wrist by his Mother.
He blankly stared at her. Why did she bother with it? He didn't even ask for it. And the one person he did want to get it from wasn't here yet.
"I'm waiting for (Y/n)." The words came out before he could stop them.
Penelope's face crumpled and she looked at him with conflicted eyes. He should feel bad. She came all the way here despite her condition to wish him. She had herself gotten sick while taking care of him. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He was grateful but he was still wary of her. His guarded nature kept her at arm's distance. Old habits die hard.
"I see." Her green eyes for a moment flashed in irritation at his blunt refusal but soon a twisted smile appeared on her pretty face. "(Y/n) isn't here yet? I haven't seen her for weeks."
Claude frowned. He admit he hadn't seen you for a while.
You didn't come when he was sick. He waited for you meanwhile being attended to by his fiancée.
The word fiancée left a bitter taste on his tongue. He couldn't get used to it. The relationship that was forced on him.
He stiffens when he felt fingers brush across his cheeks.
"It's okay if you want her to do the ritual. At least, let me wish you victory in my own way." She whispered.
Claude blankly stared at her and she continued to smile, shortening the distance. Her hands climbed up his chest and to his cheeks.
He had only kissed her once. The kiss was bland at best. No spark, no passion at all.
He knew deep down in his heart he was just using her to fill up the gaps in his cold heart. He just wanted someone, anyone. It wouldn't matter who. It wouldn't matter if he lost her at some point.
"No. We are in public." He removed her hands from his cheeks and took a step back. The invasion of his personal bubble irritating him to no end.
He hated when people got close to him. And yet he craved the closeness of another. He just couldn't understand himself. The contradictions and emotions flooding through him.
She was pretty enough to make her desirable but he knew the thing that she triggered his traumatic memories. He hated how every time she was near her every word brought him back to the past where he was nothing but a scared, helpless child.
Maybe they were too same. That's why she brought that out in him. He hated it when he lose control. Maybe he was being too harsh. It's not like she forced him to do anything. She was pushed into this marriage as much as him.
But he wasn't ready. Ready for marriage and the responsibility that would come with it.
Penelope clenched her fists and her smile strained. "She hasn't arrived yet. I doubt she would."
Claude turned to her sharply. "What do you mean?"
"You know it, your highness. Do you want me to really say it?"
His breath caught in his throat and he looked away, lips curling downward and expression gloomy.
"You think she hates me?"
Penelope hesitated before smiling sadly. "My sister is a compassionate person. She wouldn't outright admit that she hates someone. Take me as an example. I lived with her and yet I couldn't catch glimpse of her true feelings."
"It might not be the same." The words he wanted to say confidently came unsure.
"No. It might be even worse. Your Highness, you are a prince. Even more, the reason for her to hate you. She's avoiding you, isn't she?"
Claude felt his heart clench.
Penelope continued with a small sigh of defeat. "It's probably her way of saying that she wants nothing to do with us"
"...That's enough. I told you not to speak nonsense." He sneered at her, blue eyes sharpening into a knife.
Penelope flinched back with a frightened expression. "As you wish, your highness."
He was scowling. Gritting his teeth as he tried to filter out the surrounding. Try to ignore everything and keep his mind blank. But her words kept ringing, no matter how much he tried to stop them.
Penelope bravely squeezed out her last words as she stood beside him. "Don't worry. Even if she leaves you I won't. I'll be always by your side, your highness."
"...."
He couldn't understand the bitterness that stirred inside him.
Every memory of you contained only happiness and warmth like he never experienced before. So why was he suddenly losing the fragments of those happy memories? Why did it feel like it was all a distant dream?
He waited impatiently. The knights around him started moving, climbing up on the horses and preparing to depart.
"She won't come." He muttered to himself as stood there blankly, emitting a deadly aura.
The knights around him looked curious yet terrified at his worsening mood while they avoided him.
He should stop now and move to the front and command everyone. Yet his feet were glued to the ground. Reluctant to leave.
5 more minutes.
Yes. He could wait 5 more minutes.
The people around him continued their chatter. It was annoying. But his attention still was on the way.
An acute sense of alienation overtook him. Even though he was surrounded by so many people; people that were nervous, determined, afraid, and excited. Yet he didn't share any of those emotions. It was like a thick glass was separating him from others.
Slowly his hope crumbled when 5 minutes passed away and yet you didn't show up.
Just 5 more minutes.
You promised him. You weren't going to break it, were you?
Penelope spoke something but he couldn't pay attention to her. His focal point was still focused on finding the petite silhouette. You would surely come running, making excuses all the while grinning sheepishly.
2 minutes left.
His hands started to fidget. Someone declared departure.
No, there was still time.
40 seconds...
His eyes dimmed, hope within them flickering like candlelight in midst of a hurricane.
30 seconds...
His hands grew numb and heavy. It felt like he would fall anytime.
10 seconds...
His heart beat harder. The fragile heart still hoping, hoping, hoping
5 seconds...
His feets turned around and his expression grew cold and detached.
1 second...
A dry chuckle left his mouth. People looked at him curiously. There was nothing funny. But it was funny.
Here he was waiting like a fool. He should have known better. You didn't show up when he was sick so why would you now?
Penelope was right. Maybe it was your own way to say you were grown tired of him. You wanted to keep your distance from the outcast, unfavored Prince.
Was he holding on to something that was never meant to be? If so, it was time to let go.
It was so obvious. The signs were clear. You were just doing what his brother once did. Abandoned him, left him hanging. Hoping like a fool.
"Let's go, Felix. I wasted my time."
Felix flinched and opened his mouth but no words came. He helplessly looked behind, desperately trying to find you. Even he knew the situation so he didn't object to him.
"Maybe she got caught up in something. Head Healer Roman had stopped her the last time I saw her. Maybe she was stopped again..." He stumbled over words. Trying and failing to come up with reasons for your absence. After all, he wasn't sure since he left earlier.
Stopped? You? If you wished no type of barrier could stand against your stubborn, fiery attitude and yet a human was keeping you from coming to him. Or maybe your work was more important than his... He resisted the urge to laugh brokenly at that.
"No need to make excuses for her, Felix." His words were nonchalant and bland unlike the painful sensation running through his body. "I learnt my lesson. There is no use in waiting. Let's go."
He gave up. There was no point in waiting and hoping. Of dreaming something that wouldn't come true. He had enough of these empty hopes. It was just painful to have this foolish notion. Hope. It was nothing but cruelty.
An empty void of ice replaced the hope in his jewelled eyes as he walked away. The familiar feeling of cold and numbness greeted him like an old friend and he welcomed it with open arms. It was better than feeling pain and suffering.
If only he could've waited a little more. If only he wasn't so haste in giving up, walking away. He would've seen your running figure panting as you struggled to catch up.
"I'm late." You dropped to your knees, panting. The army had already reached passed the Imperial ground. Their silhouette reflecting in your pupils. Your expression twisted into a pained one.
"He didn't wait for me..."
You realized right then that your bond with him was broken beyond repair and there was nothing you could do to restore it to its original form.