*Not Edited*
Chapter Thirteen
The journey to Cornwall took a lot longer than anticipated but we managed to get there in one piece. There was a lot of traffic due to some road work and we stopped a couple more times to get something to drink and to use the toilets.
I absolutely hate using public toilets, they were always so disgusting. I had to squat uncomfortably over it and make sure there was so skin contact with the actual toilet. After that I decided not to drink anything anymore and wait until I got to the hotel we were staying at.
Even though the journey wasn't terribly long, my body was dying for a shower and a bed.
"We're here." I told Cami as I parked up in the hotel's car park.
Cami looked out the window, her face filled with anticipation. "It looks small."
I glanced at the old building that looked a lot better on the pictures on the website than it did in real life. "It's not too bad. Let's give it a try, if we don't like it we can find something else."
I opened the car and gestured for Cami to get out. Once we got everything we headed over to the reception area to check in. After half an hour later we were finally in our room that we would be spending the next few weeks in.
I booked a room with a double bed instead of two singles so I could sleep next to Cami. She still has nightmares, it's not as bad as the first couple of days but with this new change it could trigger them again.
"It's kinda cute." I told Cami as I unzipped my suitcase. "I'm sleeping on this side, called it."
Cami threw herself on the bed and groaned. "Car journeys always tire me out."
I threw her a look. "All you did was text your friends, if anyone should be tired, it should be me!"
"Can we go to sleep?"
It was the middle of the day but we were both tired, not just from the journey but from the events of the last few days.
"Do you want to have a shower first?" I asked her as I pulled out my pjs and toiletries from the suitcase.
"Nope." Cami muttered with her eyes closed.
I grabbed the pillow from my side and chucked it at her head causing her to yell out. "Change into your pjs before you fall asleep."
Cami mumbled something as I walked past her and into the bathroom. The ensuite was modest and very white, so white that it actually hurt to look at everything.
I looked at myself in the mirror and let out a sigh. It wasn't a pleasant sight, I looked awful and that wasn't me exaggerating. I splashed some water on my face and rubbed my eyes.
I let out another sigh and began to undress. A nap in the middle of the day sounded so good right now, but first time to have a shower.
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After my ten-minute shower, I came back to find Cami under the covers and fast asleep. She must have been having a good dream as she was smiling slightly. It had been a while since I saw her sleeping peacefully and as much as my body was crying out for sleep I didn't have the heart to move her. She hadn't changed her clothes and was spread across the bed like a starfish.
I changed into my pjs and let my hair down from the tight bun it was in. I didn't bother to wash my hair as I had already done that yesterday. As my hair cascaded down my back I let out a small groan of satisfaction. I did not like having my hair up and on the odd occasion that I did have it up, it felt so good to release it and run my fingers through it.
Without making much noise, I started to unpack some of the items I had brought along with me. I had no plans to unpack everything just in case we had to leave in a hurry, unpacking everything and then having to repack again would waste too much time.
Now that we were here in Cornwall the plan was to lay low for a few weeks, stay at cheap hotels and do nothing. Maybe I could convince Cami to stay with our Uncle for a bit and I could go back to Manchester?
Alpha Alessandro didn't seem too suspicious of Cami and if I go back I could answer his questions, I could remove all his doubts about Cami- if he had any.
If he asked where Cami was, I could say she was visiting family and it was her break from college. That was believable as it was the truth. If for whatever reason he didn't believe me, I could warn Cami to leave and she would be safe. I would leave all the money with her and she could find somewhere to hide in England or she could leave the country.
I don't know what would happen to me but at least Cami would be safe.
Maybe I could tell Alpha Alessandro that I did it?
That way he wouldn't even glance at Cami as he had found his culprit.
I shuddered at the thought of what he may do to me if I told him I had killed his cousin. All I could do at that point would be to pray for a quick death but after hearing those stories about Alpha Alessandro over the years I knew that would be unlikely. He would draw it out, torture me until I was two seconds away from dying before healing me and doing it again and again.
There was another option, an option that scared me more than what Alpha Alessandro would do and that was taking my own life. It would save me from the endless days, weeks, months or perhaps years of torture but could I do it?
I felt my eyes tear up as I thought about this option. You always hear the quote 'Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.'
Was it a temporary problem? From where I was standing it didn't look like it. If Alpha Alessandro found out what we did, we would be dead anyway so why not save myself the horrific pain that was bound to happen and do it myself?
I sat on the floor and leant against the bed and closed my eyes. A lone tear slid down my cheek as I thought about what I was thinking and the direction my thoughts were headed. Never in a million years did I think I would be sitting in a hotel room, hundred of miles away from home thinking about taking my own life.
Not just that but planning how to end it, coming up with the best way to do it and when to do it.
I can't believe this is what my life has come to.
I should be planning my future, what I want to do after university, the kind of job I want, dating, getting married, kids. These are things I should be preparing for not death. When I envisioned my future I always thought I would live until I was in my 70s or 80s and be like those old people who you everywhere. The ones you see waddling around town slowly with their friends, the ones who wear those big chunky shoes, with long skirts and those awful woolly jumper or cardigans in bright colours.
I wanted that. I wanted to die of old age with my family surrounding me, Cami, my kids, grandkids. I didn't want to die by the hands of Alpha Alessandro.
A sob escaped my mouth and I clamped my hands over it. The last thing I wanted was for Cami to wake up and see me crying. I had to be strong in front of her even though I was crumbling inside. I felt helpless, powerless and so scared.
I slowly got up from the floor, my teary eyes trained on Cami as I walked around the bed and headed towards the bathroom. Once I was in there and the door was locked, I couldn't hold it in anymore. The pain and fear poured out of me in a flood of uncomfortable tears. My hand tightened around my mouth to minimise the sounds coming out from me.
After what felt like hours, I managed to gain some control over myself. I washed my face with cold water to cool it down and reduce the puffiness. I currently looked like a blowfish. Some people looked cute or normal when they cried, I on the other hand did not look cute, instead it looked like I had an allergic reaction with the way my face swelled up.
Once I was satisfied with the way my face looked, I left the bathroom and went into the bedroom. Cami was still asleep but I was no longer concerned about being quiet and not waking her up. If she slept for too long during the day, she would find it difficult to sleep during the night.
I found my phone that I had discarded earlier on the bedside table and reached for it.
Time to put my plan into action.
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A/N: Super early update! I hope you like it. I know the pace of the story may be too slow for some but it will pick up soon! :)
Next chapter will be up in a few days however you can read up to chapter 24 on www.patreon.com/kayy_b
Thank you to everyone who reads, comments and votes. I really appreciate your support!
-Kayy xx