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-Kit-
"Oh! I'm here to pick up an order for my friends and myself." Yuki responded to Mark, "How about you?"
"I'm having dinner with my Phi." Mark's answer seemed to pass by my ears, in and out, "Yuki, you've yet to meet P'Kit."
I stare at Yuki aimlessly as I see her glance over to me, her lips forming a kind smile.
"Sawadee kha, P'Kit."
I am a little confused by the sparkle of recognition that seems to linger in her eyes, but her next sentence halts my thoughts.
"Mark's told me so much about you."
"He has?" I reply in a toneless manner.
"Totally. We spent an hour talking about you last time... or I think- he was doing most of the talking." Yuki suppressed a giggle and her eyes moved over to Mark again, "Isn't that right?"
"An hour? Was it really that long?" Mark's gaping at her and I can tell that he's truly shocked.
I don't know whether to feel uncomfortable or appreciated.
"Mhm." Yuki confirms Mark's inquiry as she looks over to me again, "But P'Kit, it's truly a pleasure to meet you face to face. See- I was expecting to meet you sooner or later, but for it to be today? I've finally met the P'Kit! I have to say, I am impressed by everything that Mark's told me about you. Your dedication and hard work in the Medical facility will go a long way, that's with undeniable certainty."
For the first time that evening, my lips form a little smile, "Thank you. I'm always aiming to do my best."
"And you are, P'Kit! You are such an inspiration to me." Mark cuts in my concentration away from Yuki, and I glance at him with an irritated look.
Not surprised; my smile from earlier had disappeared as fast as it appeared.
Mark furrows his eyebrows at me, as if questioning my stare.
"I would really love to stick around and chat more, but I really don't want to impose upon you two." Yuki suddenly concludes, interrupting the somewhat of a staring contest Mark and I were having, "I also need to get this food to my friends before they kill me."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Yuki." Mark responds to her, his voice holding his usual friendly tone, yet his eyes burning into mine, "Don't forget to get the extra sash from the Fairy gang, yeah?"
"No problem. See you!"
And she was gone, but according to Mark's current expression, it was like she was never there in the first place.
"You're looking at me with such a scary look, P'Kit, that I'm afraid I've done something wrong." Mark begins.
"So, what's there to tell people about me, huh?" I had cocked my head to the side, speaking at the same time.
"I'm sorry?" Mark blinks.
"Yeah? Answer me."
"What is there to answer?" Mark gives me that confused look again, "Did I say something bad?"
"It just seems like you've told her so much about me. What exactly have you told her?"
"I-" Mark bears his confused gaze, "I haven't told her anything bad... or anything personal, in that matter."
"Well then, what did you tell her?"
"I just told her how much I..." Mark trails off for a hesitant second before he begins to speak again, "How much you are of an inspiration to me. You work hard everyday, no matter what time it is, no matter what place you're at, no matter how much stress you're under. I've seen you in our study sessions, you know. I will be studying, but you will be doing double of that. Even though you are tutoring me, and you are going through a whole different and separate module than the one you usually take, just so you can tutor me- you do it with so much earnestness and devotion and passion. If you set your mind to do something, you will do it. And don't think I don't see how much work you put in for me. You've even made your own worksheets, probably spent hours on them, just for me. How can I not look up to you, P'Kit?"
I stared at Mark silently, not knowing what to say.
Here he goes again, rendering me to complete silence.
"And if that's just for your tutoring to me, imagine how much you do for your own goals and dreams in your major. How much you work hard with so much motivation that I can only wish I could have someday. And well, I have to be honest... I wasn't the best in school. I would pass most of my tests, that's for certain, but I've never felt the urge to do my best. But... now that I've seen you and how you work, I feel that I can change myself. For the better, that is."
Mark gave me a gentle smile before helping himself to a little bit more of his salad. He had taken a mouthful, but he was still looking at me with that sparkling gaze of his.
"Listen... Mark." I began, deciding that I would rather die than admit that his words seemed to ignite a warm feeling in my chest; just a little bit, okay?! "Listen, you're just a freshman. You still have so much in this journey that you've yet to see and discover."
"I know. That is why I am ever so glad that I met you from now, Phi." Mark was wearing a fond look and I didn't know where to place my eyes, "You're such an inspiration to me."
That sentence again! This is awkward. I've never had someone praise me directly in my face like this.
Thank him, Kit, you dipshit.
"Er- thanks?" I shrugged, "I guess."
"..Even if I'm unable to change myself right now, I'm hoping to change myself in the long run." Mark's eyes twinkled as he gazed at me.
"You don't have to." I stated, "You can grow into someone you inspire to be, but don't change yourself into someone when the best person you can be is no one but yourself."
"What if being myself doesn't reach people's expectations?"
"Then they're not worthy to you." I mustered a little smile, "Be yourself, kid. That's all you have to do. Be yourself, for everyone else is already taken. Including myself."
Mark stared at me so deeply that for a second, I was even doubting that he heard me.
"P'Kit, I-" He began, and my body unconsciously flinched by the sound of his voice through the veil of silence that had fallen around us.
"I really want to watch a movie with you this weekend." He began again, "So I just... want to make sure. You're in for it, yeah?"
"As if I have a choice?" I found my tongue and set out my scolding tone, "You practically give me no choice."
"That's for certain." Mark grinned.
I unconsciously chewed on my inner lip, not knowing what to say.
For the first time, in probably forever, have I felt at such peace. I was truly feeling grumpy earlier, maybe even tensed. But now, I don't feel that anymore. I feel... normal. I'm just having dinner with Mark, that's all.
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's this cafe, bustling with energy yet coziness at the same time. Maybe it's the food, so delicious and warm. Or maybe... maybe, just for this once, his easy-going personality, helping me through this night.
I bite my lip to prevent myself from smiling. I should stop doing this, or I'll risk drawing blood. But it's not like it's my choice. Every time I'm spending time with him, I have to find more ways to hide my emotions. It's stupid, isn't it? How much the fear in displaying emotions can have you going?
I've sort of built walls around me. Walls so high, nothing can affect me anymore. I guess it was a natural instinct I've made. I've always wanted to pursue one dream, which is to become a successful doctor. So I've shut everything out. I know that is wrong of me and I should take it easy on myself.
Yet, sometimes, I can feel little tiny bits of that wall crumbling down.
I look at Mark once again. I've started to do this often; stare at him unconsciously.
"Your dimples are the cutest, P'Kit." He was already beaming back at me.
I sighed in annoyance, rolling my eyes, "Stop it with that gross nonsense."
Is what I said, as I felt my walls crumble down just a little bit more.
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●○● A/N: So we have concluded here, that Kit truly has built walls around his own emotions, conserving them all in a little secret place in his heart. It's all for protection for his own sake, isn't it? He doesn't want to be distracted nor does he want any distractions... but what's happening now? Mark is getting to you, whether you like it or not!
Also, the news of KimCop possibly having another series in addition to the ones already announced, has me squealing in excitement. I'm so happy for my babies!! I wonder what roles they'll have this time, pray it happens for real- I'm excited to find out <3