"Oh, how come I didn't notice this before? I really am that stupid." Luke asked, bewildered as he skimmed through the pages of his textbook in Defence Against the Dark Arts while the four of us studied.
"What is it?" Ollie asked curiously.
Luke flipped back the page the he was reading and gestured for Ollie, me and Monica to take a look to what he was reading.
The form of a Patronus may change during the course of a witch or wizard's life. Instances have been known of the form of the Patronus transforming due to bereavement or profound shifts in a person's character.
"So, does it mean that your Patronus can change there's a drastic change in a person?" Ollie asked, as Luke nodded his head in agreement.
"That's not the only reason you know." Monica said all of a sudden, then pointed her finger into another sentence of the page.
My eyes bulged in wonder and surprise and I bit my lip as my eyes glid through the additional information that was written at the bottom part of the page.
Another instance of the Patronus form transforming is when a wizard or witch cultivates strong feelings of attachment, usually towards another person. Or in other words, if one falls in love with another.
We all glimpsed at each other in surprise. The four of us didn't know what to say. Monica then said all of a sudden that her patronus had changed from an elephant to a panda, the same patronus as Luke, much to his happiness.
They were in love.
In love.
I kept asking myself what was the definition of love.
The strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.
I hadn't been able produced a patronus for a long time. Months to be exact. The last time I did, was September. I was already infatuated with Remus at that point, but not fully in love. It was not until November to December when I did have strong feelings for him. When we did profess our love.
I remembered that my patronus was a huge, black dog.
But I kept thinking, was it possible that my patronus will change to whatever Remus's patronus form is?
I didn't know. But at least, I just had to give it a shot.
~oOo~
I spent the following afternoon during my free time trying to conjure a Patronus in the Room of Requirement. But I couldn't. I tried to focus. I tried to recall the lesson that Remus had taught during our first day in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Proper wand movement, a loud and clear voice. And the proper incantation.
"Expecto Patronum!" I exclaimed.
No Patronus.
I bit my lip in frustration. Did I forget something? I managed to conjure a corporeal patronus last September with ease and confidence, but what have I done now? What happened? It felt like as though I wasn't paying enough attention to our lessons when I really really did. Confidence.
That was what I was probably needing to conjure one. I gave another try.
"Expecto Patronum!" I said in a loud voice, full of confidence.
Still, no silvery light. Not even a silver dog appearing from the tip of my wand. Just a shapeless mist. I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion as I placed my hand on my hip.
"Seriously? Guess confidence isn't the trick," I sighed. "Again. Expecto Patronum!"
I repeated the same step over and over again. The same incantation, trying it again with a much louder and clear voice. The proper wand movement. And trying to find that one thing that I desperately needed to conjure a corporeal patrons.
It seemed like it was taking almost forever for me to successfully summon one, and I felt like the whole school appeared to hear me and ponder what was going on or maybe they would've been thinking that I was mental or something.
"Fuck! Forget it!" I groaned, my frustration reaching a boiling point and I angrily kicked the wall with my shoe, but instead ended up sitting on the floor and clutching on my hurt foot. "I give up."
I lay on the floor, staring strenuously at the ceiling of the Room of Requirement with boredom as my hand fiddled with my wand shoved into the pocket of my school robes.
"Cool down, Selene cool down. Take a deep breath." I muttered under my breath, and inhaled and exhaled for about five times. I felt extremely relaxed and felt like all the pain was slowly being washed away from my whole body.
Just think positive. Just think positive.
Those three words just stuck in my mind for the next couple of minutes. Positive. I did think positive. But positive wasn't exactly the word that I was looking for. If I thought positive, everything will be alright. And, when I think positive, I think happy thoughts. Happy memories.
Happy memories.
That's it! Happy memories. That was what I needed all along to conjure a corporeal patronus. How could I've been so stupid all this time? I've been wasting my whole time in the Room of Requirement just because I didn't think of it in the first place. I tried to gather all the happy memories I had.
My family and every quality moments I had with Monica, Luke and Ollie, meeting my brother for the first time and finding out that he was innocent all along, every moment with Remus; every kiss, every embrace, and every I love you that we exchanged to each other.
The ball, the evening when we first said I love you.
That was the best memory I've had.
With a deep breath, I stood up and withdrew my wand from my pocket. And closing my eyes, I thought of the memory I chose. With a loud voice I said. "Expecto Patronum!"
And out of the end of my wand shot, a candescent, silver animal instead of a formless cloud. I screwed up my eyes, trying to see what form did it take. It looked like a huge dog. It was trotting away from me, and began to run across the huge room. But as I took a look closer, I suddenly realized that it wasn't the huge black dog that I had expected or conjured months ago.
My eyes looked at the beautiful creature with awe. A beautiful female wolf was approaching me slowly, it was heavenly greyish blue and its bright eyes glimmered with intelligence and grace but it had the slightest hint of a smirk on her face.
"We were really meant to be." I whispered to the creature, clutching to its head with affection as it licked my cheek affectionately.
"Remus. Let me in darling." I muttered, knocking on the door, impatiently waiting for his melodic voice to respond. But there wasn't. I was getting a bit anxious, and gripping my wand tightly as I quickly swung the door open. His office was empty, but as neat as ever. I checked each corner, there was no sign of him anywhere not even his sleeping chambers.
"Where could –" I said, before my eye caught the glimpse of a piece of parchment folded in half, placed on the pile of books on his desk. I took the note with me and felt my way across the room.
The outside of the note was addressed to Ms. Black.
I'm hoping you would notice my absence and find my office empty. Meet me at the Black Lake at 8:00 sharp, don't worry about me, you'll find me looking alright and vibrant. I wanted to show you something. I love you.
R.J Lupin
I chuckled. Was it another of his playful tricks? I surely was expecting that it was. That's my Remus. I quickly left his office and voyaged to the Black Lake, two minutes away from 8:00. The luscious aroma of the food in the Great Hall filling my nose as I sighed and heard the usual lively chatter of the students as dessert was about to end.
The sky was twinkling with the glistening stars and light brushed against the freshly cut grass of the Hogwarts grounds. The scent of the flora growing in Hagrid's garden near his hut was so strong. At exactly 8:00, I had reached the Black Lake.
He wasn't difficult to find. He stood there, his back to me, starting up at the first quarter moon. The sallow light of the moon turned his fair skin into a perfect white, he was motionless, his hands shoved into the pockets of his khaki pants.
I couldn't hear the sound of footsteps as I walked towards him, but I was 100 percent sure that he could thanks to his heightened hearing. He turned around, a smile gracing his lips as he stretched out his hand for mine.
I did not hesitate to let our palms touch. He kissed my head and I rested my head on his shoulder, as the two of us sat on the grass staring at the moon, our backs leaning on a tree. "You know you almost gave me a heart attack before I read your note." I said to him, hearing him snicker briefly.
"So, what was it that you wanted to show me?"
"Here." he said, pointing at the trunk of the tree. I looked around, and saw four initials engraved on it. Also, there were two additional initials.
M. W. P and P
J + L
"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs." I grinned, and then asked. "Who's J and L?"
He smiled sadly. "James and Lily. Carved their initials on that tree during our seventh year. I never thought that it would still be here after all these years."
I took a near rock with a sharp edge and carved R + S. Our initials.
I felt him smile against my hair and kiss it, pulling me closer to him. "You know the four of us used to hang out here a lot of times. During full moons, people who wandered the castle at night always said that they saw a stag, a black dog, a wolf and a mouse running through the forest together. Little did they know that was us. The four of us usually slept here, waiting for the sun to rise and wait for me to transform back. And when James and Lily got together, four became five and we would hang out with her here as well."
The two of us sat there for a while, staring at the beautiful moon and talked.
"Remus, I wanted to show you something." I told him, standing up.
"What is it, love?" he asked me.
I slipped my wand out of my pocket and casted the Patronus Charm. At first he was quite amused when he saw the silvery mist bursting from my wand but the form it took shocked him. The female wolf ran across the black surface of the lake.
I saw Remus that was compelled to do the same. My eyes widened. The form of his patronus was a male wolf, shimmering white and its eyes were intelligent and compassionate. The two wolves were running across the lake together, full of happiness and love.
"A perfect match." he muttered, as I smiled at him. Remus kissed me again, this time on my cheek, I tried to push him away playfully as I giggled.
"Remus!" I resisted, trying my best not to laugh. I heard the sound of thunder piercing the quiet atmosphere of the Black Lake, the flash of lightning in the sky. Raindrops started to pour down and soon, heavy rain gushed down.
He spun me around, his hands on my waist and my feet meters away from the ground as we were soaked by the heavy rain and the cold wind whipping our skin. We kissed passionately, my hand running through his wet hair.
I dozed my head on his shoulder and heard him sigh happily. My eyes were filled with surprise as they caught the attention of a huge black dog looking at me at a distance.
A/N: hello guys! Today's May 2nd in my place and its been 23 years since the Battle of Hogwarts. Can't really believe I posted this chapter on its anniversary! *gasps* Let's raise our wands for those who sadly passed away fighting in the battle! Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin and Tonks and the other fallen 50!!
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Love,
Jazl xxx