-Everyone loves the batler!-
Ages:
Damian - 17
Tim - 15
Jason - 10
Dick - 5
DAMIAN
Alfred became conscious of a presence hanging just out of sight as he was wiping down the kitchen counters.
"Can I help you, Master Damian?"
Damian appeared before him, as if from thin air. "My mother wants me to visit, should I?"
"How was school?"
"School was fine. Should I visit her?"
"Is this mother the same that you swore you'd see next in the afterlife last month?"
"Yes."Damian said though grit teeth. "But should I visit her?"
"May I ask if you're being rhetorical, Master Damian."
"I am not."
Alfred finally put down his dish towel and faced Damian head-on. "What are the benefits of visiting your mother?"
"She wants me to."
"And what are the detractions?"
"She'll ask about my new 'brothers', make me sum up how school is, saythat I should come home, and try to recruit me for a job." He listed off, pausing to think here and there. "So should I meet her?"
"It seems you've already reached a conclusion for that."
"What do you think?"
"In general, I do not encourage assassinations." Alfred admitted. "Particularly in the house."
"So what do I tell her?"
Alfred shook his head and got started on dinner. "There I can't help you. But I remember that Master Jonathan Kent called yesterday to ask when you're free..."
*
TIM
"And I wanted to kiss him, but when it was his turn and he was told to kiss someone in the circle, HE KISSED CASSIE!"
"Most frustrating, Sir."
"I mean, what does she have that I don't? Tits?"
"Language, master Timothy."
Tim sighed deeply. "...do you think Bart would like me if I was a girl?
"I couldn't possibly say."
Tim sat in silence for another minute or so. "She's not even that hot, you know." He said with a dismissive tone and supercilious expression. "I mean- okay, that sounds bad, because she's my best friend, but she's not that hot. She's genius and funny and beautiful, but- like- She's not hotter than me, right?"
"Though I can hardly comment on miss Sandsmark," Alfred started, careful with his phrasing. "You, Master Timothy, have features that, when compared with master Allan, are quite impressive."
Tim heaved a huge upset sigh. "Do you think he'll come around and Like me?"
"I'm sure it is inevitable." Alfred said, taking Tim's empty plate.
"Thanks, Alfred. I'm Gonna go to bed." Tim said with yawn.
"Good night, Master Timothy."
*
JASON
Jason sniffed. He WASNT crying. Alfred wiped his scraped elbow with an antiseptic wipe and stuck a plaster over it. "Bruce's gonn' ban me fr'm bein Robin, in't he?" He sniffed again.
"I couldn't say for sure, but it is likely."
Jason wiped his eyes. He's NOT CRYING. "I dinnit do it." He forced the words out. "only hit h'm cause he hit me." He inhaled, lips trembling. "He said I wasa bitch- a- he saidI wasa B-word." Alfred just patched the preteen up in silence. "You b'lieve me, right?"
"I'm sure your actions were influenced by external factors."
Jason sat there and let Alfred clean him up for several minutes.
"Does Bruce regret me?" He asked suddenly, his voice thin and scratchy. "He donnent like it when I'm in fights."
"Well, Master Jason, i have it on good authority that no one regrets you except the rogues of Gotham."
Jason Squirmed a little. "You never- he doesn't complain about me tuh you?" He asked. "Demon says that he complains about us when we go to bed."
"Master Damian seems under the impression that everything Master Bruce says about him is negative. It is an assumption he's had since at least the age of ten."
"So... He doesn't complain about us?"
"It depends how you classify complaining." Alfred reasoned. "Master Bruce discusses you, as does he all his wards, but it is not all negative."
"So he does." Jason said bitterly.
"Your ears have an unfortunate habit of giving up halfway through a sentence." Alfred said severely. "To abridge my point; master Bruce does not regret adopting you."
Jason sighed, hopping off the med table. "Will I be grounded for being suspended?"
"Only time will tell." Alfred said absently. "But I recommend refilling the stash you have in the plastic box under your bed."
The preteen started. "How do you know about my snack box?"
Alfred didn't even turn to face him, busy putting away the bandages. "I've got accustomed to it. You're not the only vigilante I've cared for who kept food under his bed as a boy."
"You mean B-"
"I think you should make the most of your time. Master Bruce returns home in twenty-eight minutes."
*
DICK
"Master Dick, what are you doing awake? It's long past you were put to bed.
"Couldn't sleep." The five year old said drowsily, clad in his fleece pyjamas and clutching his favorite elephant. "When's daddy coming home?"
"Master Bruce and your brothers will be home in about an hour." Alfred replied. "You should be well asleep by the time they get here."
Dick shook his head as Alfred tried to lead him to the stairs and clung to the butler's waist. "NO!" He squeaked.
"And why not?"
"Dark." The boy spoke into his waistcoat, muffling his words. "...scary."
"Will it still be scary if I walk with you?" No response, so the butler took a tentative step. Dick didn't object, so he took another. Finally, Alfred swept the boy up off the floor, and carried his up the stairs, no objections.
He fetched Dick a small cup of water and took him to his bedroom. Alfred placed the boy in bed, carefully tucked him in(with peanuts), and told him to be good and sleep tight. He was almost to the door when there was a slight whimper.
"Don't go." Dick was clutching Peanuts just under his chin. His eyes were huge in the darkness, reflecting the tiny amount of light from the hall.
"Would you like me to stay with you until you fall alseep?" Alfred asked, returning to the bedside. Dick gave a minuscule nod.
And that's how Bruce found them Later: Alfred still sitting uprights with a dosing boy pressed into his side, elephant dangling from his grasp.
Bruce gladly traded places.
BONUS: BRUCE
"Alfred, you... raised me, right?"
"I believe so, sir."
"Well..." the man fidgeted a little. "What do you do when you think a teenage boy is going to get his heart broken? How do you stop him?"
"I'm afraid I've never managed to intervene correctly." Alfred replied. "Mrs. Wayne agreed to marry Mr. Wayne, and you have never taken my warnings much to heart."
"But... there's got to be some way, right?" Bruce asked. "It's Tim, I'm afraid he might have fallen in love and I want to tell him that... the girl might not like him back. Before he gets hurt."
"Believe me, sir, Master Timothy will not be turned down by a girl."
"Alfred, you know how Tim is! A brilliant genius without a single ounce of common sense! He'll throw himself down for whoever it is he's smitten for, and get hurt."
"Although you are rightly worried, I can assure you that Timothy won't be rejected by any girl in the near future. And I can only hope that anyone he does profess love for is smart enough not to hurt him."