june 1984
michael and i have been together for over a year now...it's been good... ish. i'm a little stand-offish. it's just hard for me....
the filming for karate kid finished in december 1983. it was such a great film to be apart of, ralph and i have become such great friends. through that process of filming the karate kid... i was raped and abused by two people on set. one was a co-star, one was a crew member. that's why i'm a little stand-offish with michael. i think he knows something is up.... i haven't told no one about it. ralph knows... he's supported me through it, he only knew because he caught my abuser in the act while abusing me. ralph looked after me so much, he still does, we're still great friends and try to see each other as much as possible! a few of the other cast members know what happened too.
while i was filming the karate kid i managed to write songs, i made a whole album. the album is set for release tomorrow, it is called 'Get Me Bodied' i named it 'Get Me Bodied' because that is the name of one of my favourite tracks on the album. that track was released last month, as the third single from the album, to build up the hype of the album ready for release. 'Get Me Bodied' (the song) debuted at number 2 in the USA and number 1 in the U.K. which is bloody amazing. i have three number ones in the u.k. and two number ones in the USA. hopefully with the release of the album tomorrow it'll push 'Get Me Bodied' (the song) to number one at the same time the album gets to number one... hopefully. that's what i'm hoping for! i'd love it if my debut album hit number one! the song, 'Get Me Bodied' has stayed in the top ten in america since it's released, it hasn't left the top ten, at the moment it's number 5 so hopefully it'll get pushed up.
the first single on the album is called First Man, which i performed at the Grammys in February, First Man was released in June of 1983 and won song of the year which i was obviously so so so grateful for. First Man is dedicated to my father and michael, so it was amazing seeing the two of them looking so proud when i was up on the stage in front of them performing it to them. my dad cried, michael was hit behind his aviators but i know for a fact he had tears in those beautiful brown orbs of his.
i released 'Ready For It?' the second single from the album, in October 1983, which i also won two grammy's for!!! i won 'female pop vocal performance' and 'music film' i also performed 'Ready For It?' at the grammy's too. both First Man and Ready For It? flew to number one when they was released and i just feel so grateful.
i feel so bloody honoured that i walked away with THREE GRAMMYS. i was nominated for three grammys and walked away with ALL of them.
"hey, you okay babe?" michael came up to me and hugged me from behind snapping out of my gaze. "hmmm, yeah." i nodded "i need to carry on rehearsing." i said moving out of his grip awfully quickly.
"just take a break, we can go for something to eat!" he smiled at me.
"i'm ok... i need to rehearse for our tour." i slightly smirked at him
"hey it's ours too!" randy called out from the other side of the dance studio. i giggled and rolled my eyes ultimately ignoring him. yes that's right, i'm touring with the jackson's on their victory tour. i am going to be the show opener for them. joseph is my manager, he signed a deal with the jacksons... well mainly michael because he is the money maker out of the family, that every tour he does, i have to tour with him to promote my album too. so one of the conditions of the album is i have to release my album around the same time as michael does. obviously, Thriller was released like two years before mine, as mine is released tomorrow, so Joe let that slip as michael wasn't going to tour until now. Joe said in the future it has to be released closer together so that i can tour with him and my album can be huge.
michael walked closer to me and touched my arm "you're getting really thin"
"i've been working hard for the tour, michael" i say softly, avoiding his intense gaze.
"no... you haven't been eating." he said sternly, yet softly. no one could hear him as he spoke lowly.
i looked past him at all the brothers up in a circle messing around together, while Ralph.. who is actually here to watch me rehearse, is sat at the music deck flicking the switches around. i smiled softly as i watched him. i saw michael turn around and look at ralph too.
speaking of michael, his burns are healing. he still is in pain with the burns on his head quite a lot but he has medication to help with that. he suffers with migraines a little more than he used to too!
"you've been distant from me, Neveah" michael spoke up and looked back at me "you barely even look at me anymore." he stated softly, like his heart was breaking. which only broke mine.
how can i tell the man i love that i was raped and sexually abused. I CAN'T. it'd break him.
"see..." michael laughed to cover up his heartache "you don't love me anymore, do you?"
that's when i looked up at him "of course i do.. don't be silly, michael." i furrowed my brows at him
"if you love me you can tell me what's going on." he stated and shrugged.
i laughed softly at him "nothing is going on, i just haven't stopped for like a year? michael. it's exhausting." i told him truthfully "with the movie, the album, now a tour with you then my OWN tour when yours finishes. it's hard, michael." i told him.
"you never open up to me anymore, Veah" he reached for my hand and held it "you come to bed, i wait up for you all night, only for you to turn your back on me so that we're sleeping like a couple going through a divorce." his eyes were sad, they were tired. tired of me? yes probably. sad because of me? most definitely.
i looked down and sniffled "i don't think i'm cut out for a relationship michael..." i let go of his hand
"what?!" he laughed softly, trying to lighten the mood and cover up his sadness.
"me... you... i don't think it'll work."
"get off randy," i heard ralph laugh, i glanced over michael's shoulder to see randy messing around with ralph and the deck board. i'm so glad they get on me cause both randy and ralph mean everything to me.
"what do you mean you don't think it'll work? why won't it?" his voice broke looking at me. "michael, i can't do this anymore... i'm sorry." i whispered as my eyes started to fill up with tears
"hey, michael!" jermaine called out walking towards us with a tabloid in hand.
"look at this, they still can't get over it." he chuckled handing michael it.
the tabloid read 'Michael Jackson and his girlfriend Neveah Kingston BOTH won the same award but for male and female... they're ready to take over the world together.'
"woah what's up with you two?" jermaine asked, noticing a clear void between michael and i.
"i'm off home, i'll see you later." michael's voice broke as he walked off grabbing his black and white leather jacket and storming out the door.
i looked at jermaine and he was frowning "what have you done to my little brother?!" he almost shouted at me.
"jermaine?!" jackie snapped from the other side of the dance studio
"what have you said to him?!" jermaine shouted in my face. he doesn't scare me.
"hey!!" ralph shouted as jermaine grabbed my arm tightly and he jogged over "let go of her, man!"
jermaine let go of me harshly causing me to grab my arm and whimper "i thought you'd run to her defence." jermaine rolled his eyes as jackie made his way over with randy.
"and what's that supposed to mean?" ralph asked pointedly at jermaine
"you've been arse licking round her ever since 83... what is the deal between you two anyway?" jermaine gave us muggy looks
"what are you inferring jermaine??" i decided to speak up for myself "are you cheating on my little brother with your co-star?!" he shouted. ralph laughed and shook his head, i looked at jermaine and laughed too "you have gone INSANE haven't you?? don't act like you fucking care about michael when you're jealous as fuck of him, you always have been and always will be jermaine. you're scum of the earth!"
jermaine and i have never really got on.
"why would she cheat on michael??" randy spoke up defending me "she wouldn't do that to him, Veah is not like that." he said softly.
"she looks like the type." jermaine shrugged stepping forward slightly, trying to intimidate me, ralph stood slightly in front of me to protect me from jermaine.
"what? like the type you go with while you cheat on your wife?? very low of you isnt it jermaine? if you don't love her just fucking tell her instead of going behind her back. you're just like joseph and you don't even realise it!" i shout at him with fiery eyes. it didn't take much time for the back hand to connect with my face. i fell to the floor from the impact and groaned as everyone started hustling around. i looked up at them and ralph was trying to get to jermaine while randy held him back.
"you fucking prick!" ralph shouted at jermaine, as he shrugged randy off.
ralph knelt down beside me and caressed my face "come on.. let's get you outta here." he said softly and helped me up.
i started to cry and he hushed me softly.
i walked out not looking back at the jacksons, the same people who i always referred to as my brothers.
when we got to ralph's house he gave me a pack of peas to put on my cheek so we could sit out in the garden. he headed back over to me with a iced coffee for me and him.
"i can't BELIEVE he'd accuse me of sleeping with you when he's got about the whores that he's fucking at the moment" i snatched the ice coffee off of ralph making him chuckle and down next to me.
"we do spend a lot of time together... i'm not surprised they'd think something like that" he said and sipped on his iced coffee
i groaned and slapped down the pack of peas on the table in front of us.
"he's such a dick... and i can't believe randy didn't stick up for me... he spoke once, while his best friend was getting ripped apart by his older brother. what the fuck was that?!" i exclaimed
"calm down, don't get yourself worked up." ralph said softly and stroked my arm
"maybe...maybe it's time you just tell them." he looked me in the eyes.
"i can't," i whispered as my eyes started to water "they can't know." i shook my head.
"they'll know as soon the album is released, there's a song on there that is quite telling." he nodded and looked up at the sky.
he was on about the last song on my album called Case Closed. it's about what i went through on the set of karate kid. ralph said it'd be a good idea to write about it, get the anger out of my system. it didn't work much. but i didn't think it would, i wasn't expecting it to work. he has heard my album, the only person who has listened to it all the way through, even michael hasn't. michael said he wanted to wait until it was released to listen to it.
"a second karate kid is in the talks of being written... would you come back?" ralph asked softly.
"no." i stated firmly. "i need you there with me," ralph spoke softly "i can't do it without you."
"and i can't do it if they still have them two animals on set." i replied back, hinting at the two men who took advantage of me.
"that's understandable... i'll miss you, ya know? our daily dinner trips to the diner when we're on our break... me stealing your chips... you making me buy you a milkshake all the time.." he chuckled.
i giggled and looked at him as he looked at me, our eyes connected and i felt alive for the first time in a while.
"you don't have to worry about spending your money on me then do you..." i chuckle looking away from him nervously.
"i didn't mind." he shrugged still looking at me.
i sighed and drunk my iced coffee looking out over the hills where he lived.