Maybe it was your exhaustion speaking but you envied Ether.
Ether was rolling around on the bed with no worries on his mind. And here you were drowning in words you barely could pronounce.
"Almost there," You mumbled. Your hand moved quickly as you went through your journal and noted down important notes to review later. Today's experiment was successful. Aside from a few difficulties, you were becoming quite an expert Alchemist.
The round table you were sitting on was filled with scattered scrolls and books. With vials of potion and elixirs. And your journal for experiment and observation.
"And I'm done for today!"
You stretched your sore arms and got up from the cramped place. You picked up the envelope and crashed on the bed.
You carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.
You read through the letter. Diana's handwriting had improved a lot. At least now it was coherent unlike before how you felt you were decoding a cryptic code. A smile tugged on your face.
You peeked at Iseka who was sitting on a stool near the fireplace. Her hands were moving quickly as she knitted a new sweater to sell. Feeling your gaze, Iseka raised an eyebrow.
"Something's on my face?"
"Focused look looks weird on you, Nana. Usually, you have this grumpy look on your face."
"Shut it, brat."
"Sorry."
You grinned at the grumbling Iseka and let out a sigh. There was no way you could go see Diana.
Ether stretched and let out a yawn before turning around and playing with the ball Iseka knitted for him. It was in tatters.
Despite Ether's magical abilities, it was hard to sneak out. Nora was very strict at keeping under surveillance. And when she wasn't around, Iseka took her place.
Twice a month visit was all you could manage. And even that was hard.
You gently folded the letter and put it in the drawer near the bed.
Since the visit was hard to pull off, Diana resorted to sending letters. Though you could write a letter and send it to her anytime, it was impossible for Diana. She had to do it the normal way and the letter would take weeks to arrive.
There was something so exciting and intimate about sharing handwritten letters with her. It was a refreshing experience.
The times she visited, she would show the new dance moves she learned. You still remembered her wide-eyed expression when you showed her moonwalk. She couldn't decide whether to question your sanity or be amazed at the weird dance moves. You still had a good laugh about it.
Speaking of Nora, you looked at the time.
"Mom is late." You said out loud.
Iseka looked at the time and frowned. "Maybe she couldn't find a carriage."
"Mhm," You nodded.
For the past two weeks, you had this restless feeling for some unknown reason. Sometimes you would dream of things. You couldn't remember the content but the lingering remnants always left you feeling bitter.
"Brat."
Iseka's voice broke your thoughts.
"Yes?"
You looked at her and waited.
"Have you finished the homework Nora gave you?"
You looked at the disorganized table and nodded. "Yeah, I'm done. I'll clean the mess in a minute."
Your answer made Iseka frown. "Then what are you moping around for?"
Ah, she picked up on your melancholy mood. She was always so sharp.
"Diana's letter. She was asking me to visit her." You said cautiously.
Iseka's frown relaxed a bit. She rolled her eyes. "You both exchange letters with each other every week. And she visits you at least a month. Was there any need for you to travel so far away?"
She had a point.
"But Diana makes an effort to visit. I should do the same, you know."
"There's no need for that. You know Nora. She will bring the whole house down before she lets you out of her sight. Tell your friend to be a bit more understanding."
You swelled up in indignation. "She is understanding! That's why she never made such a request in five years of exchanging letters. But I feel I should do more for her. I miss her, so what's wrong with visiting her?"
Iseka scowled and you shrank back.
"I'm sure she does miss you and sincerely wishes for you to visit her. But your circumstances aren't the same as hers. Nora is not very fond of long journeys. Try to understand."
You sulked. "Alright. Sorry, I didn't mean to nag you."
She waved away your apology. "Go play outside for once. Sitting inside all day with your head stuffed in the books is making you miserable."
"Okay."
Iseka nodded. She covered her mouth and her breathing rattled. Suddenly she broke out in dry coughs. She tried to breathe through the coughing fit.
Worried, you hopped off the bed and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen.
"Nana, here."
Wordlessly, she took the glass and drank half of the water in one gulp.
Patting her back, you scolded her. "I told you not to overwork yourself. And don't sit so close to the fire. You know smoke is bad for you."
Iseka laughed. "Look at you. Tiny little thing but have such big words to say."
"Nana, please. I'm serious. You need to look after your health."
"Alright. I'll take a rest."
You made sure she laid down the bed and covered her with a blanket.
Iseka waved to you. "Go outside and play. Take Ether with you too. That little rascal will cause trouble without you."
"Yes, yes. I'll take the rascal with me. So please take a rest."
You cleaned up the mess and only then you went out for a stroll.
The weather wasn't exactly sunny. You could see gray clouds rolling in the distance. But for the most part, the sun and cold breeze calmed you.
What should you do?
Rolling off a hill was fun but it was quickly forbidden by Nora who nearly had a heart attack seeing you rolling down without any safety gear. And you had dragged Diana who reluctantly agreed but left with a huge happy grin after the adventure.
Playing in the stream was another option but it was freezing, you didn't want to catch a cold.
Observing beautiful birds was impossible too since they were huddled away from the bad weather.
You just decided to go and tend the herbs you planted. At the back of your mind, the restlessness lingered making you feel like something bad was coming your way.
......
You entered the house hours later when the weather outside became too cold to bear.
The sky was completely covered in grey clouds and looked like it was going to rain which was pretty weird since it wasn't the season for rains. And Nora must have returned. She'd probably freak out if she didn't find you in the house.
Iseka was out of bed and walking in circles. She turned around at the sound of the door opening. Her face fell from hopeful to disappointment after seeing you.
You were surprised when Iseka didn't scold you for your dirty, disheveled state. Your gaze darted around the house.
Instead of finding Nora, you found Iseka pacing the length of the house anxiously.
The restless feeling grew stronger.
"Mom isn't back yet?"
Dumb question since it was obvious she wasn't smothering you in hugs like she usually did first thing stepping in the house.
Iseka stopped pacing and avoided your gaze. "No. She's not back yet. I'm sure the weather must have delayed her ride."
Her answer didn't bring you comfort. Your restlessness grew, and you were tempted to join Iseka in pacing back and forth to kill some of the restless energy.
But you forced yourself to wash and change the muddy clothes. After that, you sat by the window, looking anxiously at the gray sky that seemed suddenly foreboding.
No birds were flying in the suffocating atmosphere.
Hours passed excruciatingly but there was still no sign of Nora.
Iseka had just left to search and enquire if the ride had returned. She was probably tired from waiting and doing nothing.
You were left alone.
Your only company was Ether. He was occupying the place on the windowsill and his gaze fixed on the darkening sky. He was strangely silent. Ether wasn't the type to keep quiet or stay in one place. He always liked to mess around to get you in trouble.
Now, he was so still like a statue. The look in his eyes was almost solemn. As if he could sense something.
Worry progressively gnawed your inside.
You had enough. Sitting here without doing anything was driving you insane.
As soon as you stood up, Ether turned his heterochromatic eyes on you. For a moment you froze but shook off the weird feeling.
Was it your imagination that you saw his eyes change into a familiar shade of indigo?
"Ether, let's go and find Mom. I know she will be mad at me. But it doesn't matter."
Ether remained still, his unblinking eyes devoid of any understanding.
"Ether?" You called.
Ether finally blinked and after a moment of looking at the darkening sky, he jumped on your head.
"Thanks. I promise I'll make you your favorite dishes for the whole week."
Ether strangely remained unresponsive.
You shook off the odd feeling.
You were out the door when you noticed a crowd gathered at the edge of the hill.
"What's going on there?" You frowned and made your way down the hill following the strange feeling.
It took a few minutes to walk down the hill and reach the edge where the village started. You mentally apologized to Nora since she didn't like it when you went anywhere near the village.
Your heart raced when you heard the commotion turn more noisy. Passing a few strangely quiet houses, you halted in front of the mob.
A terrible feeling started up your chest. You quickly pushed your way into the crowd and reached the other side.
Your eyes scanned the surroundings and the terrible feeling threatened to choke you.
Two carriages stood in line. Once you recognized as the traveler's --the one which usually Nora took-- and the other was a fancy velvet carriage you never saw before.
Off to the left, you could Iseka was screaming at an extravagant dressed-up man. You were sure he was a noble from the capital. He was trying to pacify the angry Iseka.
Everything about the scene was off. You didn't even realize when you started running towards Iseka with desperate steps.
The focus shifted to you. You ignored the eyes on you.
Iseka was your only focus. You needed to know what was happening here.
Iseka looked at you with unfocused eyes. Her whole body was shivering and twitching.
"Oh, the poor child... These damn nobles, they already made our life hell and now they're after our lives too!"
"I'm with you. Look at her! She's so young! How are they going to make up for it?! By throwing some gold coins..?!"
One of the bystanders snorted. "Of course. What do you expect from them? They are nobles after all. Why would they waste their time with poor commoners..."
The reaction from everyone around didn't help.
"Where's Mom?" You asked Iseka.
She remained frozen stiff. Her dull empty eyes stare right through you.
"Nana, where's Mom?" You tried again.
She flinched. "She's not here."
You trembled. "Not here..? But the carriage Mom travels in is here. It's right there. So, where is Mom?"
Iseka shook her head and her eyes lined up with tears glared at you.
"She's not coming back. She's not coming back..." Iseka mumbled, clutching her head. Tears fell from her eyes as she looked at you. "She's gone. She left us, my child..."
As soon as she finished the sentence, tears came down in full force and she broke down crying.
"That child left us..."
You took a step back. You wished you could pretend not to understand and be confused and deny her words.
But the meaning behind the words clearly rang in your mind and you blankly stared at her.
You could see a person cautiously making their way to you. Like you were a caged animal about to go feral.
Your throat tightened up. Some part of you hoped this was some sick joke.
But nothing. No one was laughing. Your ears kept ringing with the words, making it impossible to hear anything else above it.
She's gone...?
The man who was arguing with Iseka tilted his head to look at you. His face was stern and his eyes looked solemn.
"Is she the daughter of that woman?" He asked in particular to no one.
Strangely, you could feel the hostility from the people. It was directed towards him. Their contempt-filled eyes were glaring daggers at him.
But one of the villagers nodded. It was Pierce. He was the only person who treated you nicely.
Pierce cautiously knelt before you and his hands gently grabbed your shoulders.
You didn't realize you were shaking until his grip tightened.
"It's alright, dear... Listen to me,"
Pierce struggled with his next words. There was no way to break the news lightly. To lessen the blow.
You looked at him. "I want to see Mom."
"She's gone, child. Your Mother is.. she's not coming back."
You repeated the request mechanically.
"I want to see my Mom..."
Pierce looked conflicted.
"Don't stop her, dear. Let her see her mother..." Agatha said. Pierce looked back at his wife with a conflicted gaze.
"But.."
Agatha shook her head. "She's going in shock. She needs to cry. Have to cry the grief out. If seeing her mother helps it, so be it."
Agatha was another person who treated you like her own child. Her shaky voice broke him from inner conflict and he nodded.
Pierce took your hand and led you to the carriage. He hesitated to open the door. He took a deep breath, pulled the door open, and stepped aside.
You stared. In the middle of the carriage was a body covered with a white blanket.
You didn't want to see what lay underneath it. You didn't think you could handle it. But you had to. Everything felt unrealistic. Like a vague dream. A scary nightmare.
The truth was more bitter to swallow than you thought when you shoved the blanket aside and saw Nora's pale face. She looked peaceful yet unsettled. Maybe it was because of the untimely death.
You winced at the thought.
It was funny. You never realized you would lose Nora one day. For you, she was always a part of your future.
You lost your only family. The person who cared most about you and crossed miles to make sure you were alright. Simply gone.
"She's dead..." you muttered under your breath in disbelief.
As if someone flipped a switch, you fell to your knees and clutched her cold hands, and sobbed. "Mom...please wake up! Please!"
Tears rolled down your face, shoulder quivering in despair as you begged her to open her eyes. To wake up.
"Please..."
You sobbed harder, clutching her cold body close to you. Feeling yourself crumble against her.
Just like that, your life turned upside down. So suddenly. So unpredictably. Without any warning.