Erika's POV
Practice went without a hitch. Kina was turning out to be an incredible asset to the team. We finally managed to perfect the lift at the end of our group dance with the help of her surprising strength and she managed to add a certain flair to the way we danced as a team.
It's safe to say I was impressed.
Kina was also much less intimidating than I thought she was. She was incredibly easy to talk to and got along extremely well with the boys. It was like she'd always been here. I enjoyed having her here as much as I hated to admit it.
At the end of practice Aspen dragged me to our stretching corner so we could talk without having other people in our business. I took the time to fill him in on what had transpired in the house prior to me showing up for practice.
"Hold up so you think Elise and Taeyang broke up?" Aspen asked. I nodded and he silently celebrated. Aspen had been very involved with my family for a very long time and he was incredibly invested in Taeyang and Elise's turbulent relationship.
"The best part is that Aideen almost beat Elise's ass" I added. Aspen gasped and laughed a little too loud causing everyone to look at him. I giggled and shook my head as he apologised.
"So you were talking about how you got sent some stuff from your grandma did you get the goods?" Aspen asked nudging me with his shoulder. He was referring to the chains that he has wanted ever since he saw me wear them on one of my skirts. I had promised that I'd ask my grandmother to send me another set.
"I haven't opened the boxes yet" I said. He groaned and rolled his eyes. Aspen was a lot of things but patient was not one of them.
"You have to open them tonight don't do the Erika thing of waiting a week to open something" he whined. Nobody liked how long it took me to open things. At first it was to test my willpower but then it became a habit that I haven't been able to shake.
"I do not wait a week to open everything. Maybe like three or four days max" I clarified. Aspen raised his eyebrows.
"Three or four days is a lot. Is it because you're still traumatised after I sent you that spider?" he teased. I gasped and slapped his shoulder. He jokingly rubbed the spot where my hand hit.
"First of all I'm not traumatised and second of all that was very mean of you to gift me that spider" I scolded. Aspen chuckled lightly to himself. I wasn't laughing. As soon as I opened the box the spider crawled out and disappeared in my room. It took my older brother weeks to find it.
"You're such a baby" he continued to tease me. I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest.
"I'm not a baby. I'm only a year and a half younger than you" I pouted. Aspen laughed harder at my reaction.
"See that makes you a baby" he chuckled. I sighed and turned away from him. He noticed my expression and blew me a kiss. I was about to protest but he spoke first
"So do you think your mother would kill you if she saw our dance?" he quickly changed the subject. I nodded quickly causing my hair to fly into my face. Aspen stifled laughter as I pushed my hair out of my face.
My mother was not particularly fond of the idea that I did dance. The fact that I always partnered up with a person of the opposite sex worried her even more. It should be the least of her worries. There would never be anything going on between Aspen and I for many reasons.
My sexuality being the biggest reason of all.
Once we had finished stretching Aspen got up from the floor. I reached my hand out for him to help me up but instead he picked me up and put me over his shoulder.
"Aspen you asshole put me down!" I screamed. A few of the boys who were left in the studio burst out laughing and applauded Aspen.
"When I get out of this position you're all dead" I threatened them. There was silence for a few seconds before someone spoke.
"That's what she said" Kina blurted. The studio roared with laughter and I rolled my eyes. Aspen pretended to let me slip from his grip causing me to scream.
"Aspen if you drop me I'm gonna kill you!" I yelled. Aspen merely laughed before he set me back down on the ground and went to go collect our bags. The blood rushed down from my head. I felt dizzy and began to see stars at the sudden blood rush.
"Hang on I got you" I heard Kina's voice as she steadied me. She held onto me as I regained my bearings.
"Thanks" I said awkwardly. Kina nodded and walked out of the studio door. Aspen watched as she left. He handed me my bag and we walked out of the studio together. When we got outside Taeyang was already waiting by his car while he talked to Aspen's older brother. They both looked in our direction as we came into their line of view.
"Look at the love birds" Aspen's brother teased. Taeyang laughed and high fived him. My cheeks burned and I used my hair to cover my face.
"Shut the fuck up" Aspen narrowed his eyes at his brother as he approached his car. They tussled for a few seconds causing me to laugh.
"Remember to open the boxes when you get home Eri or else I'll do it for you" Aspen huffed, pushing his brother off him. I stuck my tongue out at him before getting into Taeyang's car. I shut the door and my brother looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"So you and Aspen?" he teased. I pushed his shoulder. My older siblings always teased me about how close I was to Aspen. When I was younger they used to pretend to plan a wedding between Aspen and I.
"Stop it" I whined. Taeyang shook his head and started the car to drive us home. The drive home was quiet but the silence was comfortable. In the light of the street lights I noticed the tear tracks and redness of his face.
"What happened today after you left me at the studio?" I asked comfortingly. He stayed silent as we drove the remainder of the way home. We pulled into the driveway of the house. I was about to ask my question again when Taeyang spoke.
"Well let's just say you won't be seeing much of Elise anymore" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I patted his shoulder comfortingly.
"Don't worry about me Erika I'll be fine" he reassured. It was clear that he wasn't going to be fine but Taeyang liked to lie to me about his feelings so I wouldn't worry about him. It was also clear that he actually loved Elise regardless of what we all thought.
I wonder what that feels like?
"Okay but I'm always here to talk" I said softly. I got out of the car and went into the house. As I entered the warmth of my room I saw that the packages on my bed remained untouched. I put my bag in the corner of the room before making my way to my bed. I ran my hand over the smooth satin of the garment bags that lay beside the boxes.
I unzipped the first garment bag. Inside was a beautiful lilac tulle dress with a corset bodice. I gently touched the skirt of the dress and admired the beauty of the soft butterfly decals that went from the bodice all the way down to the waist of the dress. I placed the dress and garment bag back onto my bed before opening the next bag.
Inside this one there was a beautiful three piece modern hanbok. The hanbok jacket was made of delicate black chiffon silk and it had beautiful floral decals on it. The top was just a solid black cropped top with the same flowers embroidered up the one side. The bottom was a black pleated skirt with a chiffon overskirt that had gold decals on all the pleats.
"Oh halmeoni what would I do without you" I sighed. It was absolutely perfect. My halmeoni knew me better than anyone when it came to fashion. I placed the modern hanbok back into the garment bag and lay it on top of the other garment bag.
The second last bag was much heavier than the others. I unzipped it to find an elegant chima jeogori inside. It had a pearl white jeogori, a pastel lilac chima and a pastel pink norigae. I got dressed into it and immediately felt like a Korean princess from the 1930s. I let my mind travel to a daydream where I was a princess who was betrothed to an ugly prince and I was rescued by a powerful female war hero.
A soft knock at the door pulled me from my daydream. Aideen entered into my room dressed similarly in her hanbok.
"Look at my dongsaeng" Aideen gushed. I furrowed my eyebrows and pouted at her comment.
"Since when do you call me dongsaeng" I complained. Aideen laughed and sat down at my vanity to watch me go through the rest of my stuff. I opened the last garment bag to find a beautiful black dress. The dress was fitted at the top with a puffy skirt. The back was lace up and it had a big bow.
"I'm gonna have to steal that at some point" Aideen stated.
"I'm shorter than you so appa would never let you out of the house in this dress because of the length" I stuck my tongue out at her. I took all of the new outfits and hung them inside my wardrobe.
I grabbed a pair of scissors from my desk and opened the first box. Inside there was a variety of scented candles, skincare products and jewellery. My eyes focused on an aloe sheet mask that made my skin break out the last time I used it. I handed it to Aideen.
"Don't ever say I never share anything with you" I said. She rolled her eyes but accepted the re-gifted face mask. I opened the second box to find some new skirts, shirts, stationery, candy and of course Aspen's chains. There was a soft knock on my bedroom door.
"Come in" I said softly. My dad entered my room and closed the door behind him. He looked at me and a smile graced his features.
"Erika look at you. My baby girl you look all grown up" My dad said taking in my appearance. I smiled and did a little spin for him.
"Thank you appa" I said. He pulled me in for a hug and I savoured this moment of being like a little girl in my father's arms. He broke the hug and took in my appearance once again.
"Did you eat yet?" he asked. I shook my head. He looked at Aideen with the same adoration he looked at me with.
"And look at you looking like a bride" he praised Aideen's appearance. Aideen scoffed.
"I'm not getting married because I don't want to wake up next to someone every morning and pretend I'm happy" she joked. My dad playfully lectured her on the importance of marriage.
"Aideen have you all eaten yet?" Aideen shook her head. My dad furrowed his eyebrows and awaited an explanation.
"No appa. Mother hasn't come home yet and we didn't know if we were going to order in or not" Aideen said. He ushered us out of my room and into the living room. I ran up to the couch and jumped into the empty space next to Taeyang.
I lay my head on my older brother's shoulder despite his complaints and let my eyes slip shut. After a few minutes I dozed off.
"Erika" Taeyang nudged me and my eyes flew open just as I heard a car pull up outside. My mind went into fight or flight and I was already wide awake.
"Go to your room maybe ask if Hyejin will come with you" Taeyang said with a small smile.
I got up off the couch and looked at Hyejin as if to say come with me. Without any words she followed me to my room. As soon as we were in the safety of my room with the door locked the front door slammed. Hyejin and I put our ears against the door to hear what was happening in the living room.
"Do you think she's going to be angry with Aideen for not cooking?" I whispered. Hyejin shrugged. Our mother was unpredictable and her moods could be lethal. We strained our hearing to hear outside of the room to no avail.
"HYEJIN, ERIKA COME HERE" my mother yelled causing me to jump. We hurriedly unlocked the door and walked quickly to the living room.
"So Erika I received an email from your Math teacher today. Do you want to tell me what you got for your Math test?" My mother asked. Her tone was far from comforting. I didn't want to answer because I knew I did badly and I knew it was because I was too focused on dance.
"Answer me. I know your result. So are you going to tell me and your father or do I need to pull out the email?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I got 48%" I said quietly.
"Speak up. You seem to speak up fine when you're talking to your dad or your friends or your siblings. So speak up" She said in a harsh tone.
Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry
I repeated those words in my head over and over before answering.
"I got 48%" I said, a little louder. My mother scoffed.
"There we go. Do we send you to school to get 48% for Maths?" My mother spat. I shook my head.
"So what is so important to you that you couldn't study for your Math test?" She questioned. I stayed silent. The tears welled up in my eyes. I looked to the floor to avoid her icy gaze.
"I asked you a question Erika" she said.
"Nothing mom I'm just not very good at that concept" I lied. The truth is that I had spent too many late nights with dance and homework for other subjects that I had completely forgotten about the test.
"Don't lie Erika. You have one last chance to tell me the truth" she said.
In her eyes I could see that she was not playing around.
"I had late dance practices and a lot of homework for other subjects. I'm sorry" I said, looking down at the floor again. My mother laughed bitterly
"You failed a test all because of this fucking dance shit that I didn't want you to do in the first place." She said in a harsh tone. She pointed to my room and I ran off, closing the door behind me. I threw myself onto my now empty bed and sobbed. Once I had calmed down I threw my tear soaked pillow onto the floor.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Come in" I said. My voice was raspy from all of the crying.
The door opened and my dad came in. He looked aroung the dark room but didn't turn on the light. He sat down on the bed next to me and put his arm around me. I buried my face into his shoulder. He rubbed my back soothingly for a while. We sat together in silence for a bit before he spoke.
"Don't cry Eri. It's okay to sometimes get bad marks. You'll just have to do better in the next test. you also need to start prioritising school over dance" He said comfortingly. I nodded and wiped the tears from my face with my hands.
"We ordered in for dinner. I'll come get you when the food is here. You just take your time to yourself and don't worry about your mother I'll handle her." He said before releasing me and getting up to leave.
He left my room and closed my door behind him.
I sighed and lay back on my bed.
Why does life have to be like this?