"Please let me drink.."
"Rose", she sighed, "your neurosurgeons have said you can't until after six months, and even after that..-", her mouth kept moving as I zoned out.
I feel close
Well maybe I'm not, heaven knows
It's a spotlight stuck on the ceiling
Why are these the things that I'm feeling?
The pen swirls around my fingers, intertwining and unintertwining itself as I fidget and it flicks off into the void somewhere. I keep staring at the pink wall.
There's so much time
For me to speak up, but I keep quiet
I'll complicate the most of the mantra
The power is out and I can't turn the fan on
I see hazy, I feel in love. I clumsily reach out as my fingers interlock with hers. Her cold skin warms mine in a strange way. Her thumb rubs against the back of my palm. I try to better my grip but her skin only feels lighter and lighter as I struggle and open my eyes to trying to clench air.
So can I call you tonight?
I'm trying to make up my mind
Just how I feel
Could you tell me what's real?
I hear your voice on the phone
Now I'm no longer alone
Just how I feel
Could you tell me what's real.. anymore?
'Cause I wouldn't know
"Good eeeevening, love!"
I stare at the ceiling, face warm, body still asleep. Sounds of static accompanied with alternative/indie buzz in the empty of my mind.
"Did you sleep well?"
It was then when you'd realise it's next morning but the curtains weren't hit with sunlight. The bulbs were readily lit in the room and it would quite literally.. dawn on you.
"What's the time?"
My tongue detached from the roof of my mouth. I tasted.. flavour.
"Four o'clock, baby. How are you?"
Voice so low
Sneaking around, so it goes
I always try my best to listen
Picking up things that I can fidget
Circle speed, pacing around, watching my feet
Batteries drain, I get the memo
I think that I might have to let you go
The colourful lights drain the darkness as I lazily lounge underneath my comforters. My fingers dance lousily to the music and explore skin.
Just how I feel
My eyelids shut lightly as I inhale sharply.
Could you tell me what's real?
My fingers wet themselves as I bite my lip and they dive in.. for the first time.. for the first time..
'Cause I wouldn't know
A rhythm so known. Fabric on fabric. A place of hiding. Secrets that were meant to be mine.
Voice so low
It pricked. It burned. My body involuntarily pushed out my fingers in pain.
I always try my best to listen
The first time since.. the first time never. My body compromised. My fingers settled in between my legs.
Circle speed, pacing around, watching my feet
The music tickled my skin as I arched my back. I felt fingers that didn't seem to be mine. My hands ripped open my shirt.
Batteries drain, I get the memo
Fingers traced my jawline. I watched myself close my eyes and moan. My face red. I leaned over myself and caressed my neck.
Just how I feel
Lips met mine. I taste myself and deepen the kiss. I pull myself by the collars. I knew her. I'd seen her. She'd known me and touched me.. once upon time.. once upon a time.
Could you tell me what's real?
I moan out my name as I continued to devour me. My legs shivered, covered in sweat. The comforters were thrown off the bed.
Don't go, don't go so easy
Don't go, don't go and leave me
I kiss myself deeper as I feel her start to fade away. My brows furrow, my mouth goes dry.
Don't go, don't go so easy
Don't go, don't go and leave me
My fingers intertwine in my hair. I grab a fistful of her shirt. I pull her closer for a face.
Could you tell me what's real?
My body spasms, uncontrollably as tears prick the corner of my eye.
'Cause I wouldn't know
I desire to pull her closer and look into her eyes, ask her about herself, if she knew herself at all. What she wanted or what she was. But in the fleeting moment.. I opened my eyes.
I opened my eyes.
I think that I might have to let you go
Cold water washes over my skin as I cherish the moment one last time. My face radiating heat to the cool air around.
Just how I feel
I sit in front of the mirror, looking for the girl who made love to me.
So can I call you tonight?
I'm trying to make up my mind
Just how I feel
Could you tell me what's real?
I hear your voice on the phone
Now I'm no longer alone
Just how I feel
Could you tell me what's real anymore?
'Cause I wouldn't know
I unbuttoned my shirt slowly and watched as the skin got exposed. Dark scars and bruises marked her body unbeautifully.
It's a spotlight stuck on the ceiling
Why are these the things that I'm feeling?
Her eyes connected with mine as she craved to be known, craved to be looked at. She was vulnerable.. and scared.
There's so much time
For me to speak up, but I keep quiet
I'll complicate the most of the mantra
Her hand touches mine, she's cold.. of glass. She looks at me confused and asks, 'do you know me?'
The power is out and I can't turn the fan on
-
Music: Can I Call You Tonight by Dayglow
Check out his music, link attached to the beginning of this chapter.♡