Rivals 🌈 ✔

45 - Deceit

Someone knocked on his bedroom door. 

Juice didn't respond. Apatically, he kept staring at the ceiling. Even when the door opened and he heard soft footsteps, he didn't look to the side.

He felt numb, robbed of any emotion. The tearing pain was gone, but there was no relief either. There was just... nothing. This must be how dying felt. A heaviness pushing you down, making it hard to breathe, trying to persuade you to not inhale over and over again, until you closed your eyes forever. 

He was barely aware of the fact that Skye sat down next to him and rubbed his arm. 

"Juice? It's about time to go outside, baby. You're lying here for hours."

He even lacked the energy to shrug his shoulders.

"There's someone who wants to talk to you."

For a moment he felt something. Annoyance. "I'm not gonna talk to some shrink."

"I know. Come on." She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him to his feet. "I promise you will feel better after the conversation."

Juice didn't believe her. 

Still, he got up. The sooner he could get rid of her whining, the better. Only when he stood upright, he felt his stomach rumble. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten something. For a moment he stood still and closed his eyes, fighting the dizziness. Then, he shuffled past her, out of the bedroom. 

Skye had baked pancakes, they were piled up on the table. Although most days he had been unable to put anything down his throat, the scent of it seduced him to sit down at the table and butter the pancake with strawberry jam. 

A warm smile adorned the face of his roommate. A bit suspiciously he glanced at her. Lately, there had been concern and frustration on her face, emotions he called up. 

"Who is it?" he muttered, cutting off a piece of the rolled-up pancake. 

"You'll find out soon enough." She showed him a mysterious smile. 

Like every day, it was precisely the face he wanted to forget about that emerged in his thoughts. Was it Raine? Had his ex found out that he didn't want to live without him and would he beg for another chance? 

Juice had no idea what he would do. 

He neither dared to ask Skye if it really was Raine. 

He lost his appetite, listlessly he pricked his fork in the remains of his pancake. 

Warm fingers curled around his left hand. "Do you trust me, Juice? I promise you this will make you feel better."

He stared at her hand. 

Yes, he trusted her. But he also believed it was impossible for her to understand how he felt or to help him to get rid of the hollow feeling in his chest. 

"It's not a blind date, right?" His voice sounded hoarse. He thought back to the time Skye had arranged a date to help him forget about Raine. Thad had been the moment at which Raine had decided he could no longer deny his feelings for him, and despite all the risks he'd wanted to be together. He tried to banish the memory in which Raine pushed him against the front door and claimed his lips. 

"No," she answered, squeezing his hand. "I know you're not ready."

Juice didn't pry further. Sometimes, he had no idea what was going on in her head, and trying to figure it out was nothing but a waste of energy. He forced himself to eat his pancake and took a shower after a few firm words from Skye.