Rivals 🌈 ✔

42 - Falling Apart

Juice was sitting at the bar, staring into a glass of whisky. Twice, he already shoved away a pushy Croweater. As he noticed another movement from his periphery, he was about to snap again; until he saw that it was Chibs who sat down on the barstool and asked the prospect for a drink.

"Everythin' all right, Juicy-boy? Got trouble in paradise?"

Huffing, Juice took a sip. The liquor burned pleasantly in his throat. Right now, he would call his life anything but a paradise, even though he was in a relationship that felt real for the first time in his life. Maybe that was the problem. Whenever he was with Raine, his sorrows drifted to the background. All that mattered at these moments were Raine and him. But now it had been a few days since he had seen his boyfriend, he felt lonely. A chasm had opened up between him and his brothers. Perhaps, it had already started when he was keeping his relationship from them, but things had definitely become worse since the truth came out. Taking Raine to the clubhouse hadn't made things better either. Nobody talked about it, but he felt their distrust every day. They rather hung out with someone else. Or had it always been that way?

His eyes briefly met Chibs'. What could he say? That he no longer felt at home around here? That he'd felt more like 'one of the guys' when he was only a prospect?

"Raine and I are fine," he answered eventually. He stared at his glass again. Could he be honest or not? Chibs had been his sponsor. He had always been a good listener; he had even kept his secret about Raine. "Everything feels just... different since we came out."

Sighing, Chibs ran a hand across his face. "You knew that beforehand, kid."

"I know. But that doesn't make things easier."

Chibs stayed silent. Right when Juice wanted to get up because the silence was suffocating him, the man started to speak again: "He's a good guy. I know you have the feeling that the floor beneath your feet can collapse any moment. If he gives ye the stability ye need, you gotta go for it. I'd love to have ye around in the club, but I also know ye find it hard to deal with the stress tha comes with this life. If he gives ye peace in yer head, if he can give ye a life that suits ye better than this, I'll support ye. And I know most of us will, even if they fail to say it out loud."

A small smile crossed Juice's lips. He wasn't sure any of his other brothers shared Chibs' opinion, but Chibs' view was more important to him than anyone else's. "Thanks man."

. . .

The day after his conversation with Chibs, Raine sent him a text, asking him if he was at home tonight. Juice answered immediately. Actually, he'd promised Mouse to go with her to the gym, but she didn't want to hear any excuses.

"You two have to cherish your moments together. Especially as long as your clubs devour most of your time." She gave him a wink.

Juice smiled. Even though their clubs demanded a lot of their time, he didn't plan to wait to spend more time with Raine until they'd left their clubs. He'd secretly looked at some engagement rings and he'd searched for affordable houses between Charming and Oakland. There would be many days in which one of them would be away from home, but they would still share a place and they would be able to spend much more time than the few hours they managed to see each other now.

When the doorbell rang, Juice jumped up. His heart still skipped a beat at the prospect to see Raine and he had to keep himself from running to the door, knowing Mouse would laugh at him if he did so.

"Hey!" he said with a warm smile as he opened the door.

The smile died away as he caught Raine's glance. His heart froze. Something was wrong; it was written all over his face. Raine refused to look him in the eye and his shoulders were slumped. Juice pursed his lips so he wouldn't ask questions and held the door open. Without looking at him, Raine stepped inside. He didn't even make a move to take off his jacket.