Rivals 🌈 ✔

8 - Gay

Juice stared at her.

She was joking, right? This had to be a fucking joke!

"That doesn't make sense!" he said at the sight of her serious face. "I'm not gay!"

"You told me yourself you wanted to kiss him," she answered calmly.

"But that doesn't mean that – that..." He simply couldn't find the right words. Could it be true? Did he have feelings for a man? He thought back to the tingling's he had felt, to how excited he had been, to the fact he couldn't get that Mayan out of his head. "It's not like that. It's just – just... If he had been a girl, I'm sure I would have fallen for her. But... but..."

"Then what's the difference, babe?"

"The difference?!" he called out. "He has a dick! He's a guy!" That thought alone made him feel sick to the stomach. "I'm not gay!"

Mouse sighed softly. "Okay baby. If you say so." She kissed his head, got up and left him alone on the balcony.

Juice bent over. His elbows leaning on his knees, his head in his hands.

Was she right? Had he fallen in love with the Mayan? But one couldn't just become gay all of a sudden, right? He was 28, he should've noticed longings like that, right? Now and then he had gotten a glimpse of gay porn in Cara Cara, but it had never turned him on. The idea that he would take a dick in his mouth or that someone would fuck his ass, chilled him to the bone. No – he didn't want any of that! It was fucking gross. He loved chicks, he loved tits, he loved pussy.

He got up and went back into the apartment. Mouse was sitting cross-legged on the couch, a magazine in her lap.

"Maybe I was just jealous," he said. "Because he has such a perfect body."

She looked up, smiling a bit sadly at him. "Okay."

She didn't believe him.

"Or maybe I was just seeing things. Maybe I wasn't really turned on..." Sighing, he kept his mouth shut. Even now when he thought back to Raine's bare chest and flat stomach, he felt how the blood was starting to flow faster through his veins, encouraging something to flutter in his stomach.

"I don't know," he whispered. He sat down at the couch and rubbed his face.

Skye knew him better than anyone. In every other situation, he would have believed her right away.

"When I think about sex with a guy I just feel sick. Then – then I can't possibly want something like that, right?"

"Why would you want sex right away? The first time I fell in love, it took months before I was ready to have sex. The same might go for you. A longing like that can grow."

He was silent for a while. "You really think I'm in love with him?" he asked quietly. He didn't dare to look at her, afraid of her answer.

"Even before today I asked myself that question. You are... different since you met him. Quieter. Often lost in thoughts. And there's always such a cute smile on your lips when you're playing with the Rubik's Cube. But watching you being all nervous today, and seeing your cheeks flush when he looked at you... and knowing about the panic you felt when you saw him half naked... Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're in love, Juice."

He bit his lip. Somewhere deep, deep inside of him he knew she was right.

He had fallen for a guy – no matter how much he hated it.

He rubbed his eyes as they started to itch. That friendship he had craved for the past weeks... it would never happen. He would never even dare to look at Raine again.