Rivals 🌈 ✔

19 - Calm Before The Storm

Usually Raine's actions were based on reason instead of emotions. The decision he had made a few minutes ago however, was clearly an exception and it took only a few seconds before he regretted it.

"Maybe you should have that date," he suggested after ending the kiss. The vulnerable look in Juice's eyes made his stomach cramp up. "It feels wrong to destroy your chance on a less complicated relationship. Skye knows you; if she set you two up, I'm sure you're a match. You should at least meet him."

"No," Juice answered. "You're the one that I want." Confidently, his hands slipped underneath Raine's shirt.

He closed his eyes. Fuck – how was it possible that his touch called up so many intense feelings? His breathing faltered when Juice's lips wandered across his neck, sucking his skin as if he was trying to leave his mark on him.

"The only reason I wanted to date was because I couldn't stop thinking about you," he whispered. Underneath his shirt, Juice's hands were climbing up, his thumbs tracing rib by rib. "I keep thinking about your lips. About how you felt in my hand, how your fingers felt around me. How hot it was to look into your eyes when we came." Juice looked him in the eye again. His hands slid down, settling on his hips. "Our bond is something I've never experienced before. I'm counting down the hours until I can see you again. I crave for your touches, for your voice, your smile." Being silent for a while, he simply stared into Raine's eyes. "I believe in us," he continued. "We've never talked about our clubs. We've known each other for six months and we've never been in a fight. My feelings don't go away; they become stronger and stronger each day. I'm in love with you, Raine. I'm so fucking in love with you, that I feel like a fucking teenager. Going out with a random guy isn't going to change anything about that. I don't want to be touched by anyone but you. I don't want to taste anyone else's lips..."

"Oh, Juice..." Raine dipped his head, his forehead resting against that of his friend. What he felt for this guy went beyond all understanding. He wanted him so badly. And still, he was terrified that things weren't going to end well. What if their clubs really ended up in a gang war? Within the walls of their homes and in the warmth of each other's arms they felt safe; they were living some kind of dream in which their clubs didn't exist.

But their clubs did exist and were demanding their loyalty.

Could he deal with that? They could keep their club secrets to themselves, he no longer doubted that. But he was dreading the moment that someone would find out about their relationship, and the thought of what they might do to Juice kept him awake at night. What would he do, once he was forced to choose between his club and his lover?

"I'm scared," he said honestly. He looked up to the man. "I know I told you we would figure it out. I really want to believe we will, but the truth is that I'm fucking scared."

Juice's lips touched his lips so softly his legs were trembling.

"A few days ago Chibs took me to a diner," he said. "Telling me I was too distracted lately. Then I told him I met someone and fell in love. A guy. And that we don't dare to get into a relationship because we're afraid the secrecy will make us unhappy." He cupped Raine's jaw. "You know what he asked me? Whether our current situation was making me happy. The answer is no. Then he told me something had to change; that I should fight for it or let it go because it was going to tear me up otherwise."

His forehead still rested against Raine's. For a while, they stared into each other's eyes in silence, asking themselves what they wanted. A couple minutes ago they had made a decision based on their feelings, but they both knew they needed more.

"I don't want to give up on you," Juice said quietly. "I know I will regret it for the rest of my life. I want to give it a shot. You and me. We're hiding our friendship anyway and I think we're doing well. There isn't much that will change. The feelings are already there, just as our longings." A slight blush appeared on Juice's cheeks. "And we act on it too, sometimes."