Rivals 🌈 ✔

43 - Broken

Juice was broken. 

In all the years they'd known each other, Skye had seen almost all of his emotional states. But this... this was different. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep. For almost a month. If she didn't force him to shower, he wouldn't do it. He was just sitting on the couch, staring into nothing, and by now, Skye didn't know what to do anymore. Both Clay and Chibs had been mad at him but not a single word reached his brain. He was completely indifferent. If they would push a gun against his head, he wouldn't even care. 

It scared her. 

She had taken him to the cinema, to the theater, she'd wanted to go karting and bungee-jump. It hadn't elicited a single smile. The look in his eyes remained empty. 

Something had died inside him. 

It was more than a broken heart. Juice had lost his place within the club because of his relationship with Raine. He no longer felt at home among his brothers. He'd been ready to give up everything for the man and for the first time in his life he'd dared to plan a future in which his loneliness didn't play the leading role. Despite his fear of abandonment, he'd completely opened up to Raine and he had trusted him with every inch of his being. 

And Raine had betrayed his trust. She knew he wasn't even able to trust her anymore, for he barely spoke about his feelings. He was bottling up everything inside — and she feared that he would burst one moment. She knew he'd used drugs in the past and especially with his OCD it was the stupidest thing he could do. She was terrified that he would overdose. 

He was stuck in his head, drowning in his pain. 

He kept looking for reasons why Raine had done this to him; he felt worthless and he seemed unable to believe that anyone could love him. Not even Skye. 

It broke her heart. It was horrible to be unable to reach him. 

At times, she held him for hours. It always felt like she was a ghost; her touches imperceptible for him. He didn't hug her back; sometimes, he even turned away from her as if he couldn't bear a single touch. 

I'm losing him. 

She knew it — and she had no idea what to do about it. It felt like he was slipping through her fingers as if he was water, no matter how hard she tried to hold it. 

She was his best friend, the one he always relied on. If she couldn't pull him back to the light, his brothers couldn't do it either. 

She could think of only one person who might be able to make a difference. The one who'd caused all this. The men hadn't spoken since they broke up and out of respect for Juice, she hadn't contacted Sammy or Raine. 

But right now, she was desperate. 

Her only hope was that Raine was feeling just as horrible and that they could talk things out. It made her mad that Juice hadn't heard from Raine again; that Raine had done so little to solve this. It obviously was a serious blow for Juice that his boyfriend had cheated on him, but she believed he would have given him a second chance if Raine had fought for him. 

Did he no longer love Juice?

It was hard to believe — but it was also hard to believe that he had cheated on him and he had done that too. Apparently, he had a side he had been hiding for a long time. 

. . .

Skye hadn't told Juice that she was going to Oakland. She'd asked Sammy to have a coffee somewhere. Although she'd read the text immediately, it had taken her two hours to answer. She couldn't leave the house because she was babysitting Sasha, but Skye could stop by. She had sounded a little distant and there was a pit in Skye's stomach. What if Raine had talked bullshit about Juice, just to hide his own mistakes for his sister?