Rivals 🌈 ✔

11 - Intoxicating

"Dude. You really need to see a doctor." Esai hoisted himself on a bar stool.

Raine frowned as he looked at his friend. "Uhh?"

"That hot chick over there has been trying to get your attention for like an hour, but you don't even notice. I haven't seen you with one of the girls in ages. Got some problems down there?"

Raine hadn't even noticed he hadn't gotten laid in a week. He didn't even miss it. There had been more episodes in his life where he hadn't been in the mood to have sex; especially when his sister wasn't doing great or when there were other things troubling his mind, but never before someone else had pointed it out.

Right now however, Rosa was stable. Actually there was only one change in his life; Juice. Was he the reason? Would it hurt him if Raine slept with a girl? He couldn't exactly avoid sex for the rest of his life, just to keep his friend happy.

He still needed to get used to the idea that the man had fallen in love with him. Until he'd entered his apartment, he hadn't suspected anything, but now he had felt Juice's longing, he understood him much better.

He didn't mind, he'd told him.

Well – he didn't mind, but it was tough at times. A week had passed since they'd kissed. They hung out two times since, and there had been some expectant tension between them. As if they both wanted more, but knew it would be unwise.

Yes, both – he too.

If Juice believed that he was the only one who was confused, he was very wrong. Raine however, didn't want to admit it because he knew Juice needed someone who could tell him what they should and shouldn't do. And so, he needed to keep himself in check – although he was plagued by fantasies every now and then. Maybe that was the reason why he was avoiding the ladies; because he was afraid to discover that their bodies started to bore him, or because a sexual act would call up a longing he could only ignore.

To what could it really lead? Sure – they could experiment and explore each other's bodies. But he considered Juice a friend – someone who could become a really close friend – and when they became fuck buddies it would be in the way of a friendship. In the end one of them would long for more, or perhaps they both would, and then what? Between friends there was a certain distance, but between lovers? He wanted to be able to tell everything to his lover; he didn't want to pay attention to his words the whole time to make sure he didn't endanger his club. Their priorities would clash; it would lead to fights, to misunderstandings, to hurt feelings. It would be a constant fight, where he would wonder how Juice would deal with it. Maybe later they could find a way to make it work, because it wasn't impossible, he knew that. There were more couples in which one of them had a profession for which secrecy was required. That however, was something he only wanted to think about when their feelings didn't fade with time; when they discovered that a close friendship was making them unhappy.

He became aware of his surroundings again; Esai looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"I met someone," he said honestly, because he knew his friend would keep fishing for an explanation otherwise. "I'm not sure if it will lead to something. She's... not ready for a relationship, but I don't need other girls in the meantime, you know?"

Esai showed him a way too wide grin. "You mean you're in love?" His friend roared with laughter when Raine's cheeks got hot. "C'mon man, tell me about her!"

He shrugged his shoulders a little awkwardly. Something fluttered in his stomach as he thought back to their brief kiss, and he remembered how amazing Juice's skin had felt underneath his fingers; how he had held his breath when they'd looked into each other's eyes.