Mistakes [A SVU Fanfiction]

[17]

Seven Months Later

Shannon gave Olivia more of a shot. She didn't go easy on Olivia regarding the checklist that needed to be complete before Clayton to be adopted, but she worked with Olivia and helped her get things done. And by the time that Clayton was a year old, actually the day after his first birthday, Olivia got to adopt Clayton.

"Goodnight, Clayton Rafael Benson." Olivia cooed softly, as she laid her son down in his crib. She and Alex had to clean out the office not long after Shannon took over Clayton's case because he needed space. His own space, even if he was just a baby.

Olivia gave her son several soft kisses before finally slipping from his room and into the living room. She smiled when she saw her boyfriend sitting on the sofa with two glasses of wine on the table.

"Is he finally asleep?" Rafael asked, and Olivia nodded.

"He is. I think that cake caused his sugar rush, and then the crash." Olivia chuckled softly as she sank down beside Rafael before leaning close and pressing firm kisses to his lips.

"So, what did you end up deciding for his middle name? Since you refused to tell me at the adoption." Rafael smiled as he pulled his girlfriend close and ran his hands over her hips.

"Why do you want to know so bad, huh?" Olivia teased. 

"Because then I know what to yell when he gets in trouble. I'm sure at one point he'll pull his little sister's hair or hit Cade."

"Little sister?" Olivia asked, and Rafael nodded.

"Yeah... it's edging on a year and I'd love to have a baby with you. I'm praying for a little girl." Rafael smiled. Olivia blushed a bit as she thought about having a little girl with her boyfriend. Or even another son. The idea of taking that huge step with Rafael was daunting, but also incredibly exciting.

"His full name is Clayton Rafael Benson. Because you are so incredibly special to me... just like Clayton is."

///

Later that night, after Rafael and Olivia decided to give baby making a try, Alex came into Olivia's room after knocking lightly on the door.

"Hey, what's up?" Olivia whispered as she covered her chest with the sheet.

"Can we talk? I made tea." Alex whispered back. Olivia nodded as she squinted at the ground to see if she could spot a shirt and possibly her panties.

"Give me like five minutes. I need to get dressed." Olivia breathed. Alex nodded before leaving the room. 

Once Olivia was dressed, she walked out into the living room and found Alex sitting on the sofa.

"Hey, so what's happening?" Olivia asked, as she sank down beside her friend and eyed her nervously.

"So, I heard what you and Rafael were talking about."

"What part?" Olivia asked, because she didn't know if she heard about them wanting a daughter together or how they had talked a bit about maybe moving in together.

"About Rafael wanting to get a place with you and the boys..."

"Oh." Olivia frowned softly.

"Liv, I really don't want you and the boys to leave. This house was bought by both of us, and it's too big for just me."

"We hadn't really decided yet, Alex. So don't start worrying right now." Olivia spoke gently, as she patted her friend's leg.

"I'm also thinking about how maybe I should leave."

"What? No-"

"Liv, if you guys want another kid... there isn't enough space here for three kids, you two, and me. So I'm going to start looking into places."

"You just said that you didn't want us to leave, but now you want to leave? Alex-"

"I want what you have... I want someone to love and to love me. I want kids. I'm not too much younger than you, so both of our clocks are running out. You have a better chance of having another baby because you have a man and I have no one."

"I'll ask Lucy to come over more often so that you don't have to watch the boys when I can't be here. Use that time to meet someone. Maybe by the time Rafael and I finally get pregnant, you will have someone in your life that you care about."

"What if I'm not meeting any guys because I'm really not into them?" Alex whispered. Olivia smiled gently before tugging her friend into a warm hug.

"There is someone out there for you, love. Whether it is a man or woman. And if you decide, maybe wait to meet someone later in life and start a family now. There are donors out there."

"I guess I could try starting a family." Alex spoke, and Olivia nodded.

"I just need you to know that you don't have to keep these worries from me. I am here for you no matter what. Just like you are here for me."

///

The next day, Rafael went to work while Olivia stayed home with the boys. She had taken a week off because she wanted to spend as much time with her two boys as possible before getting tugged into a dark case that shook her.

Olivia spent her morning looking up different sperm banks for Alex and sending her links to those pages, and then once the boys woke up she decided to head out and spend the warm day out in town.

"Mama! Look at me!" Cade squealed as he waved at his mother from the top of the jungle gym. Olivia smiled as she waved back at her son as he quickly slid down the slide before running back up to do it again.

Olivia took her eyes away from Cade for a moment as she pushed Clayton on the swing. He giggled as he got really high, then whined when he was closer to the ground again. 

"Hey." A voice breathed, and Olivia cringed from the sound of that voice. She heard it in her nightmares, and she felt like this was a nightmare again.

"Hello." Olivia sighed.

"Who's this little guy?" Elliot asked, as he leaned against the swing set's post and watched as Olivia continued to push Clayton.

"He is none of your business." Olivia snapped.

"Hey, I have stayed away for a while... and I couldn't just sit back and watch as Cade played with his sister." Elliot spoke, as he motioned to where Cade was playing on a balance beam with a little blonde girl.

"That's Elizabeth?"  Olivia breathed, and Elliot nodded.

"Yeah... and that little girl in the sand is Sabrina." Elliot spoke with a weak smile.

"And Abbie?" Olivia asked.

"Over there just waiting for baby number three to be born."

"Does she know that you wanted to be with me seven months ago?" Olivia frowned, as she quickly moved her eyes away from where Abbie was sitting.

"Liv-"

"I take that as a no... you son of a bitch."