Mistakes [A SVU Fanfiction]

[23]

"Elliot? As in your ex husband?" Alex croaked out as tears welled in her eyes.

"Y-yeah... but we are going to make sure he pays for what he did to you, honey. He was drinking and driving on a suspended license. The officers that responded to the crash have arrested him and I will make sure he gets in a lot of trouble for what-" Olivia rambled before being cut off by Alex.

"Don't talk about him around me, okay? I don't want to hear his name or have him even referenced around me... do you understand?" Alex spoke loudly. Olivia nodded slowly as she wiped a tear from her own cheek.

"Understood." She whispered, before looking away from her friend and down at her lap.

They sat in silence for nearly an hour before Alex spoke up.

"Can you leave?" She asked, and Olivia's eyes went wide. She looked at Alex and didn't know what to say. She had planned on staying here with Alex until she got released, and she wanted to take care of her until she could take care of herself again.

"Alex-"

"I don't want you here, okay? I don't want anyone here... so make sure that gets to the whole crew... I want to be alone."

"I-"

"I don't care what you want, Olivia. I want to be alone, so leave me alone." Alex spat. Olivia nodded quickly before standing and grabbing her purse off of the back of her chair. She draped it over her body before swallowing hard and turning on her heel to leave the room.

Olivia had slid the door almost completely shut, when she heard a heart wrenching sob leave Alex's mouth. Olivia had to restrain from going back into the room, and it was one of the hardest things she had had to do in a long time.

///

Olivia took a cab home since Rafael had their van. She was quiet when she unlocked the front door and made her way inside. She was hoping that she'd be able to slip into her bedroom and get some sleep, but she was denied that when Cade and Clayton came running from the backyard and right into the living room.

"Mama!" Cade cried, as he went sprinting towards her. Olivia squatted down and pulled her son into a warm hug before taking one arm away from him to loop it around her youngest son. She held both of them close for several long moments.

"I love you two so much." She whispered, once her sons had squirmed from her tight embrace.

"We love you too, Mama... but why are you crying?" Cade asked, as he placed his small hand against his mother's cheek. Olivia swallowed hard before standing and moving back to the door. She slipped her shoes off before quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm just having a bad day, love. Now, can you hang out with Lucy for a few more minutes? I need to take a shower." Olivia breathed, as she turned around and put on a brave smile for her sons.

"Mama-" Cade started, and Olivia frowned and shook her head.

"Please, baby. I just need a few more minutes and then I will be able to play with you and Clay. I promise."

Cade hesitantly gave in, before taking his baby brother back into the backyard. Olivia opened her bedroom door, before frowning when she found Rafael sleeping still. She had expected for him to head into work, but clearly he was more tired than she had expected.

Olivia grabbed what she needed before escaping into the bathroom. As she was getting out, she jumped a bit when she saw her fiance sitting on the counter and looking at her.

"Oh my god." She breathed heavily, as she placed her hand to her chest.

"Sorry that I scared you... I just heard the shower running and I was assuming it was you, since Clay can't reach the knobs on our shower." Rafael sighed.

"Oh, yeah... I just got home so I thought I'd take a shower and then go hang with the boys." Olivia breathed awkwardly. She stepped out of the shower and grabbed one of her towels before wrapping it around her body.

"How's Alex?" Rafael yawned, and Olivia shrugged as she looked at him.

"Not good. She kicked me out so I guess that I might never really know. I think she might close herself off from everyone and just push us away." Olivia frowned.

"I'm sorry, Liv-"

"Don't apologize. I was a bitch to you, and clearly this all was my fault... if Elliot hadn't seen me yesterday and found out I was pregnant and happy... I really don't think that he would have been driving drunk." Olivia breathed.

"This wasn't your-"

"Rafael, I feel like everything that happens to be around me is my fault. I'm toxic... I'm like a curse... I hate myself so much right now and I just don't know what I'm doing." Olivia whispered.

"Stop hating yourself, Olivia! Just because Elliot was thinking about you, doesn't mean that you were driving the car! You weren't the one driving drunk, again, and hitting people! I'm not going to let you get depressed over this and feel guilty about this, because it wasn't your fault! You. Didn't. Do. It!" Rafael exclaimed. Olivia swallowed hard as she grabbed another towel before putting her hair up in it.

Rafael watched her before swallowing hard.

"I'm sorry for being loud but-"

"I needed to hear it, babe... now, let me finish up here and then I want to go outside and hang with the boys, okay?"

"Okay?" Rafael asked surprised.

"Yes... are you up to join us?"

"Of course I am."

///

The day was spent with the boys, who really enjoyed spending all day outside with their parents. By the time the boys were hungry for dinner, Olivia was exhausted. She sent Rafael and the boys to get dinner, while she went inside to lay down. She was just getting comfy on the couch, when her phone rang. She picked it up slowly before sighing as she accepted the call.

"Benson."

"Olivia!" The voice exclaimed from the other side of the call.

"Yeah? May I ask-"

"It's Abbie! And I wanna know why my husband is in jail!"