Mistakes [A SVU Fanfiction]

[14]

A day after his surgery, they finally allowed Baby Boy Doe to be held. So Olivia put on another sterile gown before sitting back in a rocking chair with the little boy held in her arms.

"You are such a sweetie." Olivia cooed softly as she ran her finger over the little boy's cheek.

"He's already gained a few ounces with his new formula." A nurse spoke as she walked over to Olivia.

"That's great. You are going to be a big boy soon. Strong and probably a tiny bit chubby." Olivia smiled.

"He's going to be released sometime in the next few weeks. Do you have anyone to take him yet?" 

"Not yet, but I think that I might foster him. I've been around him for the last few days and I'm the first one that is holding him since he got help." Olivia breathed.

"Detective, you are attached, aren't you?" The nurse asked, and Olivia shook her head as she looked down at the little boy.

"I'm trying my hardest not too. I have a hard time during some cases, and I'm sure that this one will be the same."

"We can sign off on it."

"I don't want my son to get attached to him like I may or not be... he wants a sibling, but who knows if I could even get approved for more than just being his foster mother." Olivia sighed.

///

Olivia sat and held the little boy for hours, and then even got to try and get him to take a bottle since he was using a feeding tube and getting him to take a bottle could help with his swallowing problems.

Olivia left the NICU once the baby was sleeping again, and she called Cragen.

"Liv? What's happening?" Cragen asked quickly.

"Can you get in contact with CPS?" Olivia breathed, as she ran her hand over her face.

"Is the baby getting released soon?" Cragen questioned.

"He'll probably be released in a week or two. But he is going to need a foster family."

"Oh, yeah I can get a CPS officer over to the hospital to talk to you."

"Captain?" Olivia breathed, as she turned around and looked back into the NICU.

"Benson, are you okay?"

"Could I have your permission to foster the baby? I got to hold him today and feed him a bottle. He snuggled so close to me, just like Cade did when he was a baby. And he made these little squeaking noises when he eats and-"

"Olivia, I knew that from the moment I got the call from the hospital that you'd be the one taking the baby home. Either forever for just a little bit. So yes, you have my permission."

"Thank you, sir... but if he gets taken from me and my heart is broken, it's your fucking fault."

///

Olivia had to talk to Alex about deciding to foster the baby, but Alex was all on board with the idea. She didn't have anyone in her life, so she liked the idea of having another little kid to spoil just like she does Cade. So Olivia dug out all of Cade's baby things and put them in her room. The night before the baby got released, which was a week after he was found surprisingly, Cade came into his mother's room and eyed the crib and all of the baby clothes that his mother was folding.

"What's all this?" He sighed, as he kneaded his eyebrows together.

"This is all your old baby stuff." Olivia smiled, as Rafael slipped into the room and sat a few boxes of diapers on the bed before going and lifting up Olivia's son.

"But why is it out? Mama-"

"Cadey, your Mama is going to be fostering a baby boy that needs a family."

"What does that mean?" Cade frowned, as he crawled off Rafael's lap and moved to where his mother sat.

"It means that this little boy will be living with us until he can find a family. He will be like your little brother, but he may or may not stay with us forever."

"I don't want a brother. I want a sister." Cade grumbled.

"We can't pick, baby. But he really needs us. Don't you think that we should try to help him?" Olivia asked, as she reached out and raked her fingers through her son's curls.

"I guess." Cade huffed, before climbing off the bed and yelling for Alex.

"Maybe we could give him a sister..." Rafael smiled, as he leaned closer to his girlfriend before pressing a soft kiss to her neck.

"Oh really? I thought we were waiting a year?" Olivia breathed, as Rafael moved his kisses down her neck.

"Well, like it'll be nearly a year by the time the baby comes." Rafael grinned, before pushing Olivia back against the pillows.

"Rafael, I'm getting a foster son in less than twelve hours. Let's continue to wait to have a baby together until a later date, okay?"

"We could still have fun I guess." Rafael breathed.

"Cade is going to be running in here any second now. Let's wait till he's in bed."

///

The next morning, Olivia and Rafael went to the hospital to get the baby. He still didn't have a name, but after today he would.

"Did you decide on what you are naming him?" Rafael mused, and Olivia shrugged as they sat together and waited patiently.

"No, I didn't decide. I still think that CPS should just give him a name." Olivia breathed.

"But if you and I-"

"We?"

"Yes, if we decide to adopt him, we should name him together. Name him something that we like instead of just something random that gets assigned to him."

"Okay, then what did you want to name him?" Olivia asked, as she reached out and ran her fingers through Rafael's perfectly slicked hair. He rolled his eyes since he knew she was doing that on purpose.

"Clayton." Rafael spoke, and Olivia smiled.

"I expected something different from you... but either way it's an adorable name." Olivia smiled.

"Clayton it is then."

They sat there for awhile longer before the door opened and the nurse came out with a large bag over her shoulder and a baby carrier in her hand.

"Detective?" The nurse smiled, and Olivia stood as her legs shook.

"So, he's really good enough to go?"

"He is doing great. Still on his feeding tube, but not for much longer. So, congrats."

"Oh, uh, we have a first name for him."

"I'll be taking that." Frank Munson spoke. He was in charge of the baby's case, and was going to be observing Olivia over the next few months to determine if she was a good fit for the baby.

"He's name is Clayton, sir."

"Better than just calling him baby boy or Baby Boy Doe. I'll be meeting you at your house to discuss some things."

"Is everything okay?" Rafael asked, as he took the carrier from the nurse.

"We will determine that."