Mistakes [A SVU Fanfiction]

[9]

"Elliot Stabler, you are an actual piece of shit." Olivia sighed as she ran her hands through her hair. 

"Olivia, you won't give me a chance, but you are more than willing to kiss any and every guy that comes by?" Elliot spat. Olivia rolled her eyes as Rafael looked at the man standing in front of them.

"Elliot, you are married and have two kids with your wife. Even if you were single, I'd never want to be with you ever again. And Rafael is the first man I have kissed since we got our divorce and you took everything from me. Rafael isn't an asshole, unlike you." Olivia huffed before grabbing Rafael by his arm and tugging him up the driveway.

"Olivia, you are keeping my son from me! I refuse to let him grow up knowing that man as his father!" Elliot yelled. Rafael swallowed hard as he and Olivia walked into the garage.

"Uh... I hope that he knows that I haven't like had plans on marrying you or anything..." Rafael trailed off, and Olivia could see that he was embarrassed and overwhelmed by the things that Elliot said.

"Rafael, I'm sorry. Elliot can be very forceful, and he still thinks that he has control over me. That I'm his wife... but I'm not. I can understand if this is a complete turnoff, and I don't blame you for possibly feeling nothing for me at all." Olivia frowned, and Rafael looked at Olivia for a moment before frowning.

"I'm going to head out. Thanks for inviting me." Rafael frowned, before pulling his keys from his pocket and heading back down the driveway. Olivia looked at him as tears welled in her eyes.

"Elliot just keeps on ruining everything... He'll never stop."

///

That night, once everyone had went home and Cade had finally went to bed, Alex brought a few cups of tea into Olivia's room. She didn't even bother to knock on the door, and because she didn't do that she caught Olivia in a very bad moment. 

"Liv?" Alex asked, and Olivia quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks before sitting up slowly.

"Sorry. Uh, I thought you were going to bed?" Olivia asked weakly.

"I was, but I thought that maybe we could catch up. You were outside with Rafael for awhile and I was wondering what you two were doing." Alex frowned.

"Rafael and I will only be friends... or maybe we won't be friends either." Olivia sighed, as she shifted over in her bed and gave Alex space. Alex got under the blankets as she passed one of the mugs to her friend.

"What happened outside?" Alex frowned.

"We kissed a few times, but then Elliot showed up and interrupted us. I think that Elliot scared him off for good..." Olivia sighed, before sitting her mug to the side and sinking down under the sheets. She wrapped her arms around her body as tears stung her eyes again.

"Liv, Elliot can't keep you from falling in love or-"

"I will never fall in love. It's like I'm incapable of loving someone or being loved. The only person that I can manage to love is Cade... well and you." Olivia sighed. Alex reached out and brushed tears from her friend's cheeks before smoothing her hair.

"Liv, don't give up now. You are absolutely amazing and whoever you end up with will be the luckiest man on Earth. And I hope that Elliot is miserable when he watches you." Alex smiled.

"I want another baby... but I scared away the one and only person who has showed any interest in me."

"Rafael may come back around." 

"I doubt it. I'm surprised that you have stayed this long."

///

On Monday morning, Olivia dropped Cade off at daycare before heading into work. She got there even before Cragen did. She had barely slept the night before since Alex had fallen asleep in her room and snored like an elephant all night.

Olivia was just starting to brew coffee for the rest of the crew, when she heard the elevator ding. She knew that no one else was going to be here this early, so she was a little on edge as she approached the open doors.

"Hey, Liv." Rafael spoke quietly, as he walked towards her.

"Hi, Barba. Uh, what are you doing here? We don't have a case." Olivia spoke. Rafael nodded before looking her over.

"I'd like to apologize for Saturday. For kissing you and for running off. I didn't know that you were dating your ex again and-"

"What?" Olivia asked with wide eyes.

"You are dating Elliot, right? He came and told me that you two were getting back together... that you were acting so cold towards him because no one else knows." Rafael explained, and Olivia shook her head as she turned and walked back into the squadroom.

"No, Rafael. I'm not dating Elliot. He's married and I, unlike him, would never break up a marriage. I don't want to be with him. He came to you and told you that we were trying to get back together because he doesn't want me to be happy. He doesn't want anything good to happen in my life. So please... please just forget about everything. What he said. Our kiss... me in general. I'm just one of the detectives that work with you." Olivia frowned, before moving over and sitting at her desk.

"I don't want to break up-"

"I'm not with him!" Olivia yelled, as she turned around in her chair and stared at the guy she had a huge crush on. But like everything else good in her life, Elliot wanted to ruin it. Make her feel like shit as usual.

"Olivia-"

"Rafael, I haven't been with a man in four years. I have only been kissed by my son, and he's very sloppy when it comes to that. He's my soulmate... but I want a man in my life that isn't three and still wears footy pajamas... I want someone who kisses me like you kissed me on Saturday. Because you kissed me and made me feel like a woman. Not a detective. Not a mom. Not a divorced woman. But just a regular woman that might have someone possibly love her in the future." Olivia spoke quickly.

"Olivia." Rafael breathed, and Olivia nodded slowly before standing.

"Okay, well I'm going to go make some tea. I will see you later if we get a case." Olivia spoke with a weak smile. But when Rafael said her name, he wasn't dimissing her. He stood and walked towards Olivia. He wrapped his arms around her waist and once he got her to turn around, he kissed her.