Retrograde [Completed]

Part 25*

We're almost out of the woods my lovely ladies and theydies. Just little while longer. ❤️

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"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, kid. There's no way I'm allowing you to see any participants today." Rossi's eyes are wide with shock when he looks up from his desk. He makes his way to you quickly, making you sit down in the chair in front of his desk.

"Are we finally going to talk about it?" Rossi looks at you expectantly.

"What are you talking about?" You sniffle, trying to pull yourself together. Rossi had never seen you cry and this was embarrassing for you even though he could practically be your father.

"Whatever happened between you and Aaron. You've been walking around here like a zombie."

"There is no me and Aaron." You wipe the last of your tears of your face and straighten your posture.

"But there was." His says simply.

"And now it's over, simple as that." Your voice wavers again thinking about your conversation with Hotch.

"You pushed him away didn't you?" He asking a question but you can tell by his tone that he already knew the answer to it.

"I told him from the beginning that I didn't want anything serious. He ruined that for us." You say defensively.

"Sounds like you both ruined it. You can't convince me that you don't feel the same way, kid."

"It doesn't matter how I feel anymore."

"It could, if you talked to him." Rossi's words were making sense when you didn't want them to.

"He doesn't want to talk to me, I said some really terrible things." You look down at your hands, ashamed. The things you said to him were inexcusable.

"Maybe he would be more willing to if you told him how you really felt." He suggests and the thought alone sends your mind into a panic.

"I'm not ready to tell him how I really feel."

"What would you need to be able to do that? To be completely honest with him."

"I...I don't know." You lie. You knew what you would need. Permission. A way to not feel so guilty. But you could never get that. Tyler was dead.

"Maybe you should talk to Tyler about it."

"I haven't been there in a long time." You hasn't been to Tyler's grave since the funeral. It hurt too much to be there, to be at the symbol of his death.

"This seems like an appropriate time to go."

"I don't even know what I would say to him Rossi. I wouldn't know where to begin." You run your hands through you hair, leaning back in the chair. What would you even say to him? That you'd fallen in love with someone else? How was that not betrayal?

"Why don't you take a couple days and think about it. It's not like Aaron will be able to up and leave, we still have a bit of the semester left."

"Okay. Thanks Rossi. Will you take me there when I'm ready?"

"Of course, kid."

"Do you think I could still see participants today?" Your voice hopeful. You didn't want to just sit around and think about everything. Not yet.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" He eyes you warily.

"Yeah, I need to take my mind off of things just for a little bit." You lace your hands together in a begging motion