Wildfire

104

"We need not fear Kanaye... It's alright my Love... It's alright..." The way that I find myself soothing my husband so that we both might be tended to surprises me, tears streaming down my face as I struggle not to flinch under the careful prodding of Kanaye's fingers over my bruised side as he tries to sus out the true damage that has been done to me in the drama that unfolded around us today... Not in the fact that I still find myself comforting him... 

But that he is mentally present enough to need the comfort... And that he is more of himself at the moment than he has been since this morning, his fierce protectiveness over me showing itself so stunning in the way he loathes the fact that anyone else is touching me at the moment... Right down to the way that he keeps snapping at Kanaye's wives as they do their best to make themselves useful... The pale one having sent for tea that he is now pouring for all of us, the one with the tea-colored hair doing his best to free my tangles of the sticks and debris it had gathered on our long walk back from the final resting place of Shen...

  His help appreciated even if Emrys's beast does not yet trust him fully, not that any of us misunderstand his quiet hisses as sounds of disapproval... We all are very aware that my husband is simply finally reacting to the stress of the day, his catatonic state from earlier having prevented him from feeling the full weight of everything that had happened... 

But now that he has been brought back to me by the sight of me being touched by someone else... Even though it was only Kanaye doing his best to tend to me the way he should be as our physician... He is once again the familiar rock that I tied myself to with such joy... He is back to being my conscious protector and I no longer feel as though I might spend the rest of my days tending to the husk of a man that had shone so brightly that if my nickname is Moon Beam than his surely would be something that captures how closely it feels as though I am bathed in the warmth of the sun every time I find his arms wrapped around me... I know that I am safe with him in the room... And that he shall never willingly leave my side...

I would never leave his side... No matter if my role had shifted from wife to caregiver... I would have stuck right by his side and cared for him just as he cared for me when I was broken... But I cannot say that I am not glad to have my Emrys returned to me so that I might have my own moment of weakness... So that we might recover from this day together, and lead our people into the calm peacefulness that they have deserved for so long... And that we might do it together hand and hand just as we have spent so often talking of...

...

Emrys

...

Rayne's words do comfort me... But I still have too much of Cho stuck on my mind to feel comfortable around anyone... Not just Kanaye... 

The only exception to this would be our family... Akeno and the others now the only relatives that we know that we can actually trust... And possibly the villagers who helped us bring Shen to the ground and keep him there... 

And it's not as though I do not wish to trust Kanaye and his wives... None of them have done anything wrong... And I am aware that they are only doing what they are trained for... His wives having come from a home for the gentle, and Kanaye himself trained to fix those of us who are broken... I know that I need to trust them to care for us at the moment so that my own dear wife might have the chance to properly rest and not feel the need to continue being as strong as he has had to be today... The strength having come from within and lasting so much longer than any of us ever expected of him... He had set aside his own distaste for fighting and protected our home when I found myself willing to turn and run in order to try and protect him... 

I am not sure that I shall ever truly be able to forgive myself for putting Rayne in the situation where he had had to summon such courage... But I do not regret seeing that side of him... For now, I know that if anyone ever tries to cast doubt on who should be sharing my throne they shall not have a leg to stand on... Because even though he is a runt... A runt who has seen so much of the worst behavior from the people who had once called this palace home...He is a runt who held his chin high and charged into the fray to stand up for himself... Just as he had in the garden when he had thought me another attacker what now feels like ages ago... 

Rayne is so strong... 

And it's my job to make sure he never has to be as strong as he was today ever again.

So if that means that I keep myself alert and let my beast lead my senses while others are in the room... 

So be it. 

"It looks as though only one may be rebroken, Queen Rayne... Unfortunately, I shall still need to wrap it though... Which means the two of you must separate for a moment." Up until now, Kanaye has been more than understanding of my sudden crashing into our current reality... The way he has been working around my need to give Rayne the comfort that he so desperately needs at the moment so very indulgent and kind... But I know that for something like this he shall need true access to my wife's chest in the very least...

  Not that being aware of that fact makes it any easier to let go...