Wildfire

Five

"He's staring at you, Rayne" Wen keeps her voice as low as possible and leans into me to say the shiver-inducing words, but they still feel as though she's shouted them loudly enough for the entire ballroom to hear them. I know that she means well in telling me, that she hopes to maybe make me feel a little more worthy of being here, but I can't help but feel like...

"No, he is not!" I keep my voice low as I answer her, but I do not actually have the fortitude to look up and confirm her statement, but with the holes being burned into me from the front of the room I can almost confirm them without needing to look up, though I know that the eyes I feel watching me could belong to anyone, more than one man in here probably ready to throttle me for having the nerve to stand in the same line as his children... Not that my own Father would notice, he's too busy playing the part of our proud Papa, his smile truly genuine when he catches my eye, happy that I found the courage to walk down the long staircase with my sisters upon his and Mama's insistence.

I'm glad that I've made them happy... That they've gotten to see all of their children lined up before King Xiang and Prince Emrys representing the Cloud family in front of all the other noble branch families... But I cannot help but worry that something I may do or cause may ruin their evening and the tender memory I know that they both hope to cherish.

The worry causes me to look down at the beautifully plated roasted duck in the middle of our table and then to my woefully empty plate, my stomach too tied in knots for me to even imagine tasting it or any of the other dishes that had been laid out, the same on every table expect that of the crown's, which judging by the number of times I watched different sets of feet walk up to their table has more of a variety though I haven't had the privilege of being able to look up long enough to be able to actually see it... I'm too afraid of catching his eye... Or worse, the eye of someone else while glancing in their direction who might interpret the passing gaze as something more than it is.

...

Emrys

...

"He's not eating... Why do you think that is?" The more I watch the curious runt in our midst the more I find myself unable to tear my eyes away from him, whatever internal struggle preventing him from enjoying the feast our kitchen had so carefully prepared causing the most perplexed expression to settle itself on his soft face.

"Maybe because he knows the food was never meant for the likes of him to taste. Now leave him be and stop staring at him!" My Father lets his sentence end in a hiss as he follows my line of sight for the umpteenth time tonight, ever frustrated with me over the choices I make in life... Though I have to say I do not understand why he can be vexed with me over this choice... Rayne is beautiful... And he seems so gentle in the way he shifts himself carefully back and forth in his seat, so seemingly aware of the world around him, but calm in his understanding of it... He has an allure that I cannot quite name, but also cannot get enough of.

"Father... Have I ever told you how much of an ass you make yourself out to be on a daily basis? Because if you remind me, I'll certainly try to do it more often." The words slip from my lips in the fondest form of confrontation between family members, a ragged remark about his lack of generosity thinly veiled with a tone that suggests my question nothing more than a joke at his expense.

"Don't be clever, Emrys. Your eyes are better utilized searching the faces of the actual candidates to be your bride instead of ogling that runt." The words are meant to be harsh, their bite not unfelt as he insults the stunning beauty seated entirely too far away from me.

"Father, I am peering at the face of an actual candidate... I think I may have actually settled on my choice." The words that leave my mouth are genuine, a true fondness pulling me in the direction of the timid Rayne Cloud, mine to be the first, and hopefully, the only name that appears on his dance card, even if I have to fill every slot of it myself.

...

Rayne

...

It takes too long for everyone to finish eating, more harsh glares being thrown my way as more and more people understand who I am and become unsettled with the fact that I had been put before the Prince as if I was one of them... As if I belonged there and with no visible shame... or at least I hope I let show none of the fears swimming through my mind of how tonight could go wrong.

By the time forks have been set down and the chatter is at its height, the small instrumental quartet that had made themselves scarce during the meal make themselves known by striking up a soft melody that slowly grows into a faster-pasted tune as people begin to pair off to take their turns spinning around the dance floor, dance cards being pulled from place settings along with the sharpened sticks of charcoal to be used in marking them.

I do not bother with mine, no point in pretending any more than I already have tonight that I should be here when we all know that I should not. There would be no one asking to put their name down on what would have been my card, and there is no reason any of them would want to... I just need to wait until enough people are focused on dancing instead of making sure I feel just as out of place as I am and I should be able to convince Papa to let me slip away, sure to be unbothered if I slip out through the far terrace that leads directly into one of the rose gardens.

I think that I may be able to find my way back to our rooms from there having passed them on the way there this morning, but if not I could always wander through the roses by myself until the festivities have ended and rejoin my family before they make their way back as a group... Either way, it shouldn't be long now... Just a little bit longer and I won't be so uncomfortable anymore... I won't be making everyone else uncomfortable any more...

Today truly has been a nightmare, but at least I can say that the nightmare is almost over.