Wildfire

Sixty Eight

I shall never tire of the way Emrys responds to the feel of my lips being pressed against his... The way he takes the time to taste me and explore the cavern of my mouth melts away the stress-filled tension present in both his shoulders and mine, the way he welcomes me to cling to him making me feel more steady as my heart pounds...

But all too soon he lifts his mouth away from mine, a sorrowful look to be made out in the darkness gracing his face as he whispers to me, "We should stop..." 

I've heard these words too many times in the time that we've been together, and finally, I am able to let my hand lift itself until I am able to caress his cheek and draw him back to me once more until we are mere centimeters apart and his breath blends with mine. 

...

Emrys

...

"Why? " The way my sweet shard of starlight's cheeks glow as he brings me back to him stills me into submission, his words continuing, "Emrys... Emmy we're married now... We need not stop...I-If you do not want to..."

There is truth in my Moon Beam's words... We are married now... There would be no ruining of our reputations now if we find ourselves wanting to carry on with pressing our lips together in such a devastating fashion... There is nothing standing in the way of us having more intimate physical relations... And for some reason, that knowledge shocks me... It had been hard resisting the temptation of taking him every single time we find ourselves tangled in this fashion, the fact that our erections pressing into each other's hips is no longer awkward for the two of us even now speaking to how often we've found ourselves having to force ourselves to stop and behave ourselves... If only to prevent anyone from thinking that there might be any truth in the rumors that Shen had tried so very hard to spread in order to ruin my Moon Beam's reputation if we had been found in the morning by one of the maids responsible for stirring the fireplaces back to life... 

Now, it would be expected of us to wake disheveled and wrapped around each other in ways that would make others blush... There would not be a single eye batted if we were to be walked in on in the early morning light in a compromising position, our announcement that Rayne is officially Queen having come in the form of his exposing his back earlier today during the meeting we had called in order to flush out the traitor that had tipped off my father about the nuptials that had happened last evening... 

Somehow, in the stress of the day, the fact that we are officially married and that tonight was meant to be the night we took that step forward into making love to each other had escaped my mind and I find myself staring down at my new bride in wonder...

"Even after the day that we've had...?" Even knowing that tomorrow we shall wake and find ourselves preparing for a war neither one of us wanted... With the nasty turn, our first day as newlyweds, no picnic in the gardens my sweet shard of starlight had yet been able to explore... No celebration of our ascension to the throne like we had expected, only further betrayal coming from the man I will never again think of as my father... 

Rayne chooses not to answer me verbally, rather using his gentle hold on my cheek to hold me still so that he might raise himself up to close the distance between his lips and mine once more, urging me to follow him as he lets his delicate head drift back down to his pillow, his gorgeous strands of silken white hair pooling under him... Never in my life did I imagine that I would find myself married to such an ethereal being... That Rayne would ever be calm enough to decide to make love amongst all of this stress... That someone as beautiful as he would want to make love to me at all in all of his preciousness...

But I find myself drawing away from him once more, a gasp falling from my lips as something dawns on me, a reason to stop, even if my body is completely taken with wanting him in every single way possible, "Rayne..."

...

Rayne

...

"I... I do not wish for the memory of our first time to be tainted or feel as though it was rushed... I... I want it to be special..." My sweet husband looks at me so tenderly as he holds me close, his words melting my very core down into a puddle of warmth that makes my head spin with how thoughtful his consideration is... But he doesn't understand...

We could be ripped away from one and another at any given moment by poison or violence... Xiang or Shen could sweep into our chambers even now and take us by surprise, and the fighting that would ensue would put us both at risk... Nothing could ever spoil this moment because of how much we love each other, but it is a moment that I do not wish to put off any longer knowing that any moment spent together might be our last, my own life likely being the one that will get taken if something bad should happen before we are fully prepared, "I do not wish to rise and fight tomorrow without knowing what it making love to you is like..." 

My words feel bold as I whisper them, but not necessarily out of place... We have had so much happiness stolen from us... We have had so much more violence at the start of our beginning than should have ever been allowed to take place... We deserve our night of bliss... We deserve to know what it feels like to move our bodies in tandem to gain release from one and another... Our first day as a wedded couple may have felt as though it was torture, but our first night with my back healed... It shall be filled with happiness...