look at me | wroetoshaw

Chapter 29

Well, we were finally home. It didn't feel like home.

It didn't feel like home, because a vital piece of our family was gone, and I hadn't had time to properly mourn him before leaving for tour. But approaching our apartment, a cold shiver ran through my body as I realised my bouncy little boy wouldn't be waiting by the door for me when I would walk back in.

And I had no idea how to react.

"Sophie? Come on, it's freezing outside. Let's get all your stuff back inside," he coaxed, holding his hand out for me to take, his other hand occupied by one of my suitcases.

I shut down the other thoughts in my head, shaking my head free of them before smiling half heartedly over at him.

"Right, yeah sorry. Feels weird to be back is all."

If only he knew the extent of it.

"I know exactly what you mean. Come on, let's go in together," he said again, his hand still outstretched for me to take. I took hold of it, simultaneously picking up another bag from the floor and we set off, into the building.

We walked up in silence, finally approaching our front door. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, allowing me to walk in through.

The smell of his aftershave hit me like a truck, overpowering me completely.

"Wow, you have a ... very poignant smell," I tease him, waving my hand in front of me to downplay the smell a little, to waft it away.

"Hey! No criticising the smell of the apartment whilst you were gone," he said back, his voice sounding firm but the smile on his face baited him out.

"No criticising here, love," I said gently, pecking him on the lips before looking around, my eyes settling on Herb's old bed in the corner, right by the window because we had assumed that in the summer, when it became more sunny he could lie in the sun and relax. 

But he wouldn't be here to do that anymore. 

"You didn't...you haven't gotten rid of his bed?" I asked, whipping my head around to look at Harry, who looked to be surveying me and my reaction. 

"I didn't think it was fair to make those sort of decisions without asking you first...plus, I couldn't have done it even if I wanted to. It's still too fresh," he admitted. 

This whole situation had broken us both, completely. It had ripped a massive hole in our heart, a hole so big it felt like it was never going to close up entirely. 

"I miss him so much," I said out of the blue, choking up half way through, prompting tears to start falling down my face shortly after. 

"Oh, Sophie, come here," he whispered, walking up to me and bringing me in for a hug. "He's not in pain anymore," he said quietly, kissing my forehead whilst speaking. "It was so unfair, I know it was, but he's not in pain anymore and that's the most important thing, okay?"

"I know," I managed, hiccupping through the tears. "I know nothing's going to bring him back but I still miss him so fucking much," I say, managing to hold it in as I speak but once I finish it all builds up and comes out once more. 

"Soph, I'm at a loss for what to do...what do you need?"

"Just stay here? Just hold me for a little while longer, please?"

"I can definitely do that," he whispered, his embrace tightening just a little bit. It didn't make things okay, it never could, but it eased the pain just a little bit for the time being. 

liked by sophhx, r0sielewis, miniminter and 2,382,404 others

@wroetoshaw: Missing you extra today, lil one. We miss you so much 

@taliamar: such a lovely picture. love you guys <3

@user1: is sophie okay???

@user4: Sophie deserves it LMAO

       @user2: wtf is wrong with you????

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"I've never seen that picture of you before," I say out loud, catching his attention from across the room. 

"You probably haven't...it's a screenshot from a video I filmed with Cal a while ago...it got sent to me on Twitter loads after the video went out. I must've forgotten to show you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I love it. My two favourite people in the whole world," I say with a smile, screenshotting and cropping the picture, saving it so I can use it as my lockscreen. 

"I know exactly what you're doing...you're changing your lockscreen again, aren't you?" He called me out, getting up from the dining table, sitting down by my feet on the sofa. 

"Pfft," I laughed, sitting up. "No, I don't know why you came to that conclusion at all," I said vaguely, turning my phone off and giving him the side eye. 

"You forget that I know you inside out. I know your every move Sophie Minter," he challenged, eyeing me up. 

"Oh, you do, do you?" I sat up, also looking at him directly. This was getting heated. 

I had no idea who moved first, or who made first contact, but as our lips collided, a burning sensation started flowing freely throughout my body, overcoming all of my emotions I had previously felt, lighting me up with a new and increased feeling. 

-

"Nice to know I still have the same effect on you," he said breathlessly, turning over to face me in our bed, the duvet hanging loosely over his chest. 

"Oh, would you give it a rest," I scolded him between breaths, but I had to admit, he most definitely did still have an effect on me. And a big one too. 

"What?! I'm just saying. It's nice seeing results," he said with a smirk. 

"Stop being so crude! Anyone would think you're turning into JJ, you're becoming more and more like him by the day! Where has my innocent boy gone?" I tease. 

"He's a man now," he grinned, flexing one of his - muscles? if you could call it that. 

"Alright, don't get ahead of yourself, you're only twenty two," I say sarcastically, leaning over and giving him a quick kiss. 

"Yeah, well, I'm older than you. So HA!"

"Yes, well done. You have always been older than me, but congratulations on that discovery bub," I tease him, loving the reaction on his face. 

"Looks like your sassy side is saying hello today, huh?" 

"Oh yeah. I let you get away with way too much. Time to be in control again," I wink, running my hands through my hair to try and detangle a little of it. 

"Can't say I'm mad about that..." he winked, and I knew exactly what he was getting at. 

"Harry Lewis...get your mind out of the gutter! I'm serious!" I said, both of us falling into a pit of laughter. 

And for a brief second, it felt like October 2015 all again, and I wasn't even mad. 

Happy sad and spicy???? You know it !