The Curse of Beasts (BEASTARS)

A New Sense

Alan was not in a good mood, and he wasn't doing much to hide it.

    Todd was the first to notice the degradation once the human came back later in the day. He looked even worse than before, his body slumped and dragging itself around like dead weight. He only had one bag from the city, but he didn't bother taking it out and simply slid it under his bed before diving onto it himself. The goat tried to coax an answer on how the trip went but was met with quiet and vague responses. He wasn't sure if he could pry further than that, seeing as the human was affected greatly.

    He was worried for him, even more than before he left! It was bad enough when Alan went quiet for a few days before taking the day off, but this was worse. He barely spoke a word to him, and his answers didn't give any context on what happened. Todd was getting more concerned for his friend but didn't want to overstep his boundaries. He was told it was personal, so maybe it'd be best if he let him be. One thing was clear to him, though...

Whatever happened in the city, it hit Alan hard.

~~*~~

    Todd wasn't the only one noticing the change in the human, far from it. Some members of the Drama Club who were close with him took notice as well. He was working well enough, but he'd occasionally lash out briefly or mutter to himself. They simply took it as something that happened outside of the club that he was frustrated about. As the days drew on, however, it was clear that it wasn't something temporary.

    When asked about it, he'd brush it off as him being "hit with a lot of work." It was a lie, and a very poorly structured one at that. Whatever was bugging him, he wasn't going to spill it. None of them pried further, lest they suffer the human's mostly-unseen wrath. They ultimately decided to leave him to his own devices.

Well, not everyone decided on it.

    Alan usually arrived earlier than some of the other members, mostly out of modesty than anything else. There's a certain level of awkwardness that comes when undressing around animals when you have no fur or scales, and he did not want to experience it. He spent his time wandering around aimlessly a little before going behind the curtain and looking around the auditorium. He sat at the edge and sighed, remembering his "big debut", as it was.

He could still hear the cheers that erupted when he kicked Bill back, shocking both him and everyone present back then. He wasn't so much in control of himself as it was his emotions taking the reins and him running with them. He recalled his speech about carrying Adler's curse, confronting your inner demons and discarding your old life. It was ironic that he said those words and yet he wasn't even taking them to heart.

It's not like I'd be able to do it, anyway., he thought glumly.

"Alan-san?", he looked back to see Juno near the curtain, a hesitant expression on her face.

"Oh, hey Juno...", he turned back to the empty seats, not paying the wolf any attention.

"Are you...doing alright?"

He nodded, "I'm still trying to get used to being here again, after everything."

    He heard her step closer until she sat beside him silently. The two gazed to the stands, not saying anything as the invisible crowd stared back. The human didn't feel awkward around the female wolf, mostly because she was the least of his concern. He didn't mind her presence, as it wasn't like Legosi wanting to talk him out of his rut through speeches. Even though she was the same way, technically, she wasn't as persistent in his eyes.

"Alan...", she broke his thoughts gently. "You've been changing, lately. When you came back to the club, you were happy. But then, you started becoming more distant...and now everyone's unsure of what to do regarding you."

"You shouldn't worry—"

"I do.", she touched his shoulder, making him look at her.

    Her face showed concern, but also patience. The human recalled how she reacted when the wolves told her how much things changed because of her. The good she was able to spread, the shift she made within the school. Even now, he felt envious of her, but just couldn't bring himself to hate her! She did what she thought was right and followed through. She managed to do what he couldn't...

"It's personal, but...", he smiled slightly. "It means a lot to me that you came."

She seemed taken aback, "Really?"

He nodded, "If I'm being honest, I was always jealous of you."

"Of me? Why?"

"The Meteor Festival.", he gazed to the stands again. "You said before that a great change was coming to the school, and you're the one that brought it along."

"When I first came here, I wanted to try and make things better for everyone. After the Adler plays, I tried doing that to make them happy. Too bad it backfired, and now I'm just...frustrated."

"Frustrated with what?", she asked gently.

"Myself.", he shrugged. "I've been trying to find my own reason to be at this school, but now I'm at a dead end. I keep trying to think of something, but I just end up angry at it all."

    He wasn't sure why he was opening up to her like this. Maybe he genuinely liked her to the point he could trust her judgement? Or perhaps he wanted some validation from her given what she managed to do? Or maybe it was as simple as him wanting to air out his grievances. It wasn't the first time he did this, and he had a feeling it wouldn't be the last.

"Alan...", Juno said. "I don't think you need a reason to be here. As long as you're happy and doing what you want, that would be enough."

He was silent for a second, "Maybe..."

He got up and stretched before looking at her, "I can't say I'd agree, but it helps to know where you stand."

She got up as well and gave a small smile, "I'm sure you'll find a reason to stay. Maybe it won't be for making a big change, but it'll give you a reason to keep going."

    The human nodded as she went through the curtain, leaving him alone again. He didn't like thinking this way, especially with others around. They'd just start going at him with questions and concerns that would only make it harder. Even then, it wasn't much different when he's on his own. Whenever he has one thought, a polar opposite comes in and they clash. It then just becomes a matter of which one lasts longer, and that is an experience in itself...

He made his way through the curtains with his gaze low, This isn't gonna be easy going forward...

He stumbled as he bumped into someone, "S-sorry! I wasn't really paying attention..."

A flamboyant, almost teasing voice replied, "Oh, no harm done. It's all good, Wolfboy~."

His mind went blank for a moment, Wolf...boy..?