The Curse of Beasts (BEASTARS)

A Taste of Adolescence

Riz was filled with rage and worry, but it was mostly the latter. The mere fact that Legosi managed to figure out he killed Tem was annoying enough, but Pina had a large amount of blame to take as well. The majority was because of his threat of telling Alan, which seemed to throw the bear off completely! The mere suggestion of the human finding out, of him knowing what he did— it shook him to his core.

"Now imagine how he'd feel if he knew his favorite bear was a killer...", the sheep's words echoed as he stood in a large bathroom with a pill in his hand.

"I hope you don't get too bad of a sleep tonight."

Riz furrowed his brows briefly, "Pina-kun needs to mind his own business. He doesn't know how hard it really is for me to get a good sleep at night."

As a bear, he is unique from other carnivores because of his strength. At times, it can be overwhelming and dangerous to their surroundings. Part of it is due to their immense size, even at younger ages. With this in mind, they're required to take strength restrainers once they reach a height of six and a half feet. Unfortunately, for the bears that use them, there are side effects that come with their lessened strength.

It's worth it, though., he thought as he swallowed the pill with some water. Better to keep my accidents trivial, rather than tragic.

The side effects mostly came in mornings, and can be difficult to handle. The biggest would have to be the headaches, which can become excruciating and almost unbearable! When it does happen, though, Riz uses honey as a quick fix. There wasn't a reason he knew as to how or why it works, but it helps relieve the pain, so there wasn't too much to dwell on regarding it.

Not many animals know about the burden bears carry as they grow, and most see Riz as a friendly guy who loves honey.

No one...except him.

It had started so innocently, back in the Spring. Tem, an alpaca and fellow member of the Drama Club, struck a conversation with him. Ironically, it started with him calling the bear scary because of his size. For some reason, Riz found his words sweet— more so than honey. Perhaps it was the alpaca's honesty that made them feel that way, or how he wanted to lend an ear. Either way, talking to him made his body feel lighter.

It wasn't long before Riz opened up about having to restrain his strength. No one else in the Drama Club knew at that time, and he only ever told his family. If the others were to find out, they'd distance themselves from him. Tem thought otherwise, and suggested they talk more in the hopes of his side effects going away. It actually worked, surprisingly, and the bear found himself eating less honey after only a few days.

Until, of course, it went wrong.

When he thought of Tem, he didn't feel bad about taking the pill. Talking to him, interacting with him— it felt as if he didn't need the pill anymore! He was hiding his true self from the alpaca, and decided one night to change it. When he found out, Tem was shocked and was accidentally injured when Riz grabbed his arm. It wasn't supposed to be that way, they should've been able to understand each other.

"That's why you don't have to hide anything from me.", the alpaca said that night as he held his injured arm. "We're best friends."

At that moment, Riz didn't know what to say. His eyes watered at his friend's words, having never heard them before. Even then, even with his arm bleeding, Tem smiled at him. He said the bear's strength was one of the great things about him, and he'd accept every part of him. Riz was frozen as Tem hugged him...

Then, it was over.

It felt like a second, but it was obviously more. Riz was alone then, body covered in marks of a struggle as he gazed at the lifeless body in front of him. A pool of blood spread beneath it, signifying the finality of the unseen act. No breath, no voice, and no movement escaped it. Riz could still remember the time he spent with Tem, and with his death, it would become nothing but an illusion.

No. It wouldn't be.

Through tears, the bear took in the alpaca— his warmth, his texture, his color, his flavor. Just as Tem had accepted every part of Riz before his demise, the same would be done vice versa. Those memories became ingrained to him, a permanent part of his adolescence. In that night, they had bonded in a way only a carnivore and herbivore could. Riz would treasure those moments until the day he dies.

However, an unexpected development came— Alan's introduction to the Drama Club. His arrival was a surprise, but not too much of one. After all, he had enrolled because of an integration program. However, as they interacted, Riz could feel a familiar feeling rising slowly as he watched the human. It didn't come full-on until after his secret was revealed to the Drama Club.

At that time, he had only a few conversations with Alan, including one before he fought that fox. When they met up after that, though, the human was distant and looked helpless. When he talked about scratching his best friend, it struck a familiar cord in his mind. It only got worse when he let out his worries about him losing his friendship and possibly hurting him again. Riz felt like he needed to comfort him, and it even got him close to unraveling his feelings about Tem's death.

The big change came around the time of the Meteor Festival, specifically when the blackout happened. At that time, Alan seemed happy— or at least content. He had made up with his friend and was even considering returning to the Drama Club! Of course, the blackout happened, and the atmosphere changed completely. The human was out of the loop when it came to the risks involved with darkness, but caught on quick once it was explained. When they met up with the others, the human acted fast to calm the herbivores— and even Riz himself, he had to admit. His words were genuine, and sweet...

For a brief moment, his body felt lighter— just like when he talked to Tem.

The more he thought about it, the more the bear began to see Alan embody aspects of Tem. His friendly personality when he first arrived, his opening up about his worries and speaking his mind, the way he managed to affect everyone in the club regardless of their species. It blurred the lines for Riz, making him think about Tem more. Sometimes it became so strong that he couldn't think straight, but he managed through it. However, something became clear by the time Legosi confronted him.

Alan was a special case to Riz, and he wouldn't let Legosi or Pina take that away. He couldn't imagine what Alan would think if he found out about what really happened to Tem. The human would most likely lose himself even worse than on the rooftop before Legosi's confrontation. There, he contemplated himself being to blame for the alpaca's death, which Riz shut down as fast as it came. It didn't work, though, and Alan was left shifting between contentment and distancing. It worried the bear more than ever...

But he couldn't let Alan find out— no matter what it came down to.

~~*~~

A.N: I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for Beastars Season 2 to come out. I wanted this to be done beforehand, but that's obviously not going to happen.

Besides, I'm in a...pseudo-rut at the moment. It's a combination of different things, but I'm pushing through it. Hopefully, I can finish this AND get through season 2 when it comes out without completely destroying my emotional walls. I can do that, right?

Right?