Random Self-Quarrells and arguments.

Re Memory

Let me start off by saying
I think its wack
how you can go back in time
Simply by scrolling through old ass conversations.
Theres texts you remember
And texts with zero explanations.
You scroll through like each letter you typed didnt mean something at the time,
Like there wasnt something on the line.
And now looking back you cant tell who was treating you right, wrong, or just fine.
Sometimes you see one, so old,
but it's like it's written in bold
Letters you can see yourself tapping individually.
You get a flashback of feeling as you grieve
on what you could've sent.
When they said they'd never leave.
Back when the world wasnt so
twisted and bent.
After all your scrolling you start polling all the damage,
to you and your old friend.
Maybe back then,
you thought your words would've gone straight to their head.
But no difference was made
for better or worse
not even a dent.
Wondering if it was worth it.
All those hours you lent.
You scroll down rapidly
To see the last one you sent.
Four years ago, like it wasnt the last message you'd send.
You know the right thing to do is repent,
But instead,
Your brain skips answers and jumps to questions.
It creeps up on you, the feeling of dread
Your brain fills with aggression
As you begin to get the impression
That their intentions
Were to leave you with this
Rotting, draining depression.
You gain an obsession
Of getting a hand typed confession.
That dread stays.
As you jump apps,
Hoping your newfound obsession pays.
Looking to see if through all that time
To them, you're dead.
For some reason it matters now,
Not what happened
But where they are now.
You care so much
theres sweat on your brow.
You nervously reach out
Through text or call
without thinking at all.
You worry and doubt throughout.
The drought of attention from that one old friend,
They could say anything,
they could even pretend.
They could laugh about it
Use what you said to them for clout.
Even after they recount
all the times for them you've
vouched.
It's scary, and okay to be in fear
just be wary about what you say,
Because anyday could be the day
They put you on display or shut you out and put memories of you away.