Random Self-Quarrells and arguments.

What if.

What if everything we saw and did was an illusion. Why am I the only one that questions this. I am my own person. No one else questions this. I can sometimes feel my soul inside me. Why would god not leave me back some kind of a hint of who I was before, if reincarnation was real. I feel like I can hear every bomb set off, feel every earthquake god challenges us with. I want to make this world a better place but this, this may not be reality. Maybe the reality is that we are pawns in a chess game. A chess game with dastardly rules that Satan made up and God is forced to play. Every war, every tradgedy, is another pawn taking another. In this chess game there are multiple kings. And each one against eachother even though there are only two players controlling their thoughts and choices. God. Satan. We may think we have control over our lives but do we really. What we think doesnt matter once we know that our thoughts and changes to this world are meaningless to what we want. Every test and rules can be skipped bent or broken. Tests dont define how smart or intelligent you are, they define whether you can ditch it all and still carry on with your life. Illegal isnt a word. Jail, bullcrap. You sit at home doing nothing with your life? No. Your waiting for the next move God or Satan plays you on. You can have a happy life with kids and blah blah blah, or you can live life while you have a hold of it. I dont know about you guys but this is all too much for me. Im going to sit down and take a break. Wait for gods next move. Because for all we know, Satan used his turn to make me write this book.