Random Self-Quarrells and arguments.

Lord help me

New chapters in my life and yours progress quickly. We all expect to find what we want to do for the rest our lives, however for some people it might take a little longer. Hearts break, hobbies perish, confidence curls, and energy dwells. No one knows exactly how their lives, careers, or relationships will pan out. I like to believe like many others, that we'll understand over a little amount of time in the near future. Like our parents, or others we know. People like me... don't exactly work that way when it comes to these three subjects; Relationships, Careers, and Finance. One day you know how to woo, or how to seduce, the next, your lifeless and without a voice towards the ones you are attracted to. You're a landscaper one day, or you hope to be anyway. Then the next your in interior design, or psychology and sociology. One day you have so much $$$ you feel like your on top of the world....and then taxes come in, so do loans, and then interest, and then debt. Life is topsy-turvy, upside-down and all-around wild in so many ways that sometimes it's hard to wrap your mind around what's going on around you. Social media. Hate, love, discrimination, romance, decisions, depression, joy and fear. Notice how peace wasn't listed. Peace should be available to everyone through choices. Whether it's mental peace, physical peace, or even emotional peace. Everyone no matter how disrespectful, or how down-right annoying they can be. Everyone deserves a chance. Whether these chances lead to equality, their dreams, equity, well paying work,or a happy life. Maybe it's something full of glory, or adventure. Everyone deserves a chance. I can only hope I'll be granted a second one. A happy life can consist of many things. To be honest, I'd absolutely love a healthy long-term relationship with the girl of my dreams. In fact, there were four different girls that fit my exceptionally high standards. And I had two chances with one, one chance each with the other three. Every single chance I had went down the drain into a bottomless pit of despair, misfortune, and heartbreak. If only I had realized what I had when I grasped it.

To conclude this chapter I'll end with a lyric From "Let Her Go," and a quote from the anonymous.

"Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

Staring at the ceiling in the dark

Same old empty feeling in your heart

'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep

But never to touch and never to keep

'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go"

Dear God,

I pray to you today to ask for your strength, your wit, and your forgiveness. I ask for your wit to know the smartest place to hide the bodies, and your strength to push the bodies, and your forgiveness for all the people I had to kill today because they really annoyed me.

Amen.