Random Self-Quarrells and arguments.

Sasha

Sasha this isnt another letter screaming I still love you, its meant to be an apology letter. Since we fought over our feelings -or lack of- I havent been sleeping well. Ive been tense all the time. Sometimes I even have the urge just to yell and scream at the world. My dreams have no longer been about paintball or soccer. Theyre now all about me seeing your beautiful face again. Never ever going to far or too less. All about making no mistakes. But that cant happen. That isnt reality. Itll never happen. Never a good-to-see-you hug or a goodnight kiss. Never the loving smiles, or the sparkling eyes. I swear I cant stand not being next to you yet I dream about other girls too. About what making-out could feel like, what having a real conversation with a girl feels like. What being invited to social events, parties and hangouts feel like. I may not be the best  face to face but throw me in a group an Im sure we'll get along just fine. I dont know what to feel, say, think or do anymore. Without you I feel empty, souless, heartless. And when Im with you you make me feel courageous, loveable, superpowered, deathdefying.
I loved you too much.