Random Self-Quarrells and arguments.

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Im having a hard time deciding what I want... with all these new changes in my life. I want to be more than friends with a person but nothing crazy serious.... and other people I dont wanna hurt, and if the person I want to be more than friends with gets hurt when she finds out I cant emotionally or mentally be part of a serious relationship right now then what do I do? Im trying so hard to make friends and enhance those friendships and maybe eventually find somebody to be more than friends with I just dont know why people have to grow attached or take hurt when they find out I dont feel the same.... like what can I sat except Im sorry you felt for me, like thats youre mistake.
One day Ill stop overthinking, worrying and being a jackass but for now Im going to continue doing stupid things like stressing out for hours on end about what to say if a specific person walks by or what to do if they take it the wrong way at which point I second guess what I wanna say and then end up saying nothing at all. Im also gonna continue taking the bullies' comments and shit to heart because even tho I shouldnt care what they think of me or say about me I do. I dont understand why I cant sit tf still or why I cant focus or why I seem to be an insensitive prick or why I dress this way. It seems as though I used to be in control of the ship and now Im in the kitchens. I need some time to work my way back up to being the captain of this ship, and being able to make the right decisions, and being in full control of myself.