A woman who overcame herself

My Day

Hey...
So it's been three years huh?
*dryly chuckles*
Time sure flies

The part of me,
that expects a phone call or a text
Doesn't overpower me anymore
Granted,
I miss you like beyond hell
And it is still rough as fuck without you
But I know I can't make my life hell cause you're not here
I'm not that person anymore

You're all I've ever known my whole life

I turn the big eighteen
A part of me is...
"Same old, same old"

Just keep surviving
Just get through this
You're strong
You can do it
Don't give up
That's all I've been doing since I lost you
I don't want anyone to worry
They just..
I know they understand but it's just so hard

I literally could have died yesterday
And all I thought afterwards,
I didn't wanna die this young
I cannot die this young
Was the reason I didn't get injured at all
Was that because of you looking out for me?
Were you trying to still be the hero and save me?

I don't wanna sound crazy
But
I think that's what happened
Did you do whatever you did to make sure I was out of harms way?

I should've grabbed the necklace you got me
I feel so bad I haven't worn it
But it's the only physical thing you gave me that I've saved
Yea I have photos of you
I have saved messages
And saved voice mails
But every time I still think of you,
I wish you were here

No one talks about you
No one mentions you to me
I don't know why
Is it because they all think I'm gonna snap at the mention of your name?
I'm dying to just talk about you and show you off
Even if your demons got the best of you most days
I know you still loved me with your whole soul
And I won't ever forget that

What do you think of  this?
I'm finally grown up, big bro
Just wish you were here to see it and give me shit about it

I still wish I could've saved you at that time so you didn't go through what you went through

I love you and I always will ❤️