Last First Kiss [H.S.]

American Music Awards

November 24, 2013
Los Angeles, California

Emiliana's POV

He knew something was wrong.

He knows me too well to know that something is bothering me. Not like it hid it too well anyways. Seeing him so sad about how we never spend much time together made this whole decision making even worse than it was.

Now how do you tell your boyfriend you're leaving for another tour when he just confessed that he misses being with you? Yeah, exactly. I'm screwed either way because I know I'd be stupid to turn down James' offer. Even Louis encouraged me to take it.

Harry hasn't mentioned anything and I'm sure it's because he doesn't want to push the subject. He's good at that. He's good at leaving things be and when the time comes, he knows I'll talk about it. But never has he ever pushed me to tell him anything.

I have to talk to him about this sooner than later. It'll just make it worse on my end if I keep it to myself for too long. I already pushed the limit and I knew that. I knew this could probably go the wrong way if he takes it that way. But I can't just not tell him. That'll hurt him in a way I never want to.

So today is the day.

It's probably not the best day because we have the awards today. But I don't care. If he ends up in a bad mood because of my poor timing then theres nothing I can do. At least I can say that I told him nothing but the truth.

Julian already knew my decision because he was there when I asked James to meet. He was excited for me and James was happy that he got what he wanted. I told them I was gonna hold off on any contracts until I talked to Harry, even though his words wouldn't change my mind.

If he wants to break up because of my choice then so be it.

I really hoped he didn't though.

"Ow!" I hiss, slapping Caroline's hand away from my hip. That definitely got me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry love, just got a bit too deep there. Not my fault you lost weight and the dress is too big" She looks at me knowingly. I smile sheepishly and stand down from the little step stool she had me on. The dress I had on was a gift from Niall's mum. She had it for me when we went to Ireland because she wasn't able to ship it over for my birthday. It was a cute gesture even if my birthday was way before that.

It was a rose colored long sleeve dress with a plunging neck line. The dress reached up to my mid thighs and the top was decorated with delicate flowers. It was a beautiful dress and fit me well until I tried it on today it seemed to be really loose. So I asked Caroline to fix it where my waist didn't look weird.

I knew I probably lost a lot of weight because I haven't eaten that well due to the late nights and early mornings. None of us have been eating well but the boys mask it with working out. I don't have the muscle to show I'm not starving myself.

Which I'm not.

I'm just eating very little.