Last First Kiss [H.S.]

No Need For That

July 15, 2013
Holmes Chapel, England

**Trigger Warning**

The room was pitch black as I hide under the bed. An all too familiar feeling rising in my gut, telling me this isn't going to end well. The slamming of the door makes me gasp quietly and I quickly cover my mouth. The menacingly voice booms through the house.

"Where are you Em!" He screeches, loud boots stomping on the floor.

My breathing gets heavy and I try with all my might to shut myself up, but it's too late when the bed is flipped over. His red eyes indicate he's intoxicated. The evil gleam he looks at me with makes shivers run down my spine and I involuntarily let out a small cry.

"Stop hiding from me! I deserve better than that after the way you treat me everyday!" He slams me against the wall, for sure leaving me with a bump on the back of my head.

"P-Please stop Justin.. I b-beg you" I plead, tears streaming down my face rapidly.

"Don't speak bitch!" A hard slap hits me across the face.

I cough out blood forming in my mouth. The disgusting metallic taste making me gag slightly. I turn to him only to see he has a pocket knife in his hands. My eyes widen and I look up to see that evil smirk across his face. I shake my head viciously, closing my eyes and screaming loudly as he stabs me right in the abdomen

I shoot up in my spot, gasping for air. My throat feels like it's being constricted of breathing. My airways feel blocked and tears are streaming down my face. I breath in and out slowly, trying to regain my composure. I'm not even gonna look around to know I'm inly in my bedroom. I've had nonstop nightmares for two weeks. Two weeks.

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks since I left New Jersey.

Two weeks since Harry and I got into a fight.

It's been miserable and quite frankly I'm glad Julian just told me to relax instead of coming back. I called him hysterical, sobbing on the phone and I don't even think he could understand what I was saying. I said I was coming back to LA but he stopped me without even asking for an explanation and told me to go home. So that's exactly what I did.

I came back to Holmes Chapel and to say that my parents were confused is an understatement. I was balling the second I came home to see Harry's family was sitting in my living room as well. I couldn't keep them in the dark about this so I had to tell them what occurred. Anne and Gemma were furious with Harry to say the least which made me cry even more. Robin and Dad were a bit out of place in this situation, not knowing exactly how to comfort me and mum just held me tightly.

"So he just made you leave?" Gemma scoffs, her infuriated expression not faltering.

"Y-Yeah, I guess that's what happened" I sigh, sniffling a bit as Anne rubs my back soothingly.

"My brother is an idiot" She huffs.

"Gemma" Anne scolds, shooting daggers at her daughter.

"Mum! He quite literally treated Emiliana, who not only happens to be his best friend of 15 years but his girlfriend, like shit!" She exclaims.

"I just- I need to get some rest" I wipe my eyes, standing up from my position and quickly heading up to my room.

I haven't left my room since. I haven't eaten, I haven't slept in what feels like years. I've been writing songs from these feelings I had. Everything just feels so wrong without Harry. I don't even know what this means for us. Are we still together? Did he informally break up with me? Does he even want to be with me anymore? The same thoughts have been swirling around my head constantly and I can't catch a break. I haven't even tried contacting him nor the boys because I honestly can't handle talking about it anymore.