No Goodbyes #2

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(not finished)

It happened again that heart panging agony I felt when you hugged me tight and I knew it was goodbye. I didn’t want to sit with you even because I somehow knew you wouldn’t be staying long, but I did sit and I laid my head upon your shoulder and inhaled such a sweet inviting scent, but the warmth and comfort I got in the first few seconds were quickly replaced by the knowledge of how it was soon to be gone; it was such a heart-touching, familiar, scent that it made tears spring to my eyes and I felt the clench in my chest. I bit down as hard as I possibly could on my lip without drawing blood to keep it from trembling I didn’t have to worry about meeting your eyes or being talked to because next to you, face buried into the soft fabric of your shirt I was hidden, invisible even and I was too close to breaking so I had to reluctantly lift my head from your shoulder only to feel suddenly too cold without its comfort and quickly placed it back where it had originally been.
There were many different conversations that happened, I was in a few but just listened to most. We ate and eventually we were leaving.
we grabbed our bags and put our shoes on. We grabbed our extra snacks, and things Grandma and Grandpa gave us. We hugged each other one by one, then my brother, you don't need one word from me to know that I miss you before you leave, you know that I'm in pain and I've always been extremely grateful for that. And then you sis you hold me tight, and I hold you tighter only pulling away after you patted my back silently saying that it was time to go. You looked me in the eye and I knew you understood, you always understand. You say goodbye to me and to our other family members, they all said it back but I didn't I never do. You say I love you and this time I say it back, but I'm quiet.
And you walk out the door, leaving me with the hole I felt before I got there but it's sore now.

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