This story I wrote one day when I was extremely overwhelmed with trying to be ok.
I smile saying goodnight to my family and I close my bedroom door; I rest my forehead onto it and I let out a breath washing away my fake smile, and I shut the light off and turn around in the pitch black of my room trying not to let the pain through to the surface. I feel as if I am underwater when I walk to my bed with my mind somewhere else entirely. I take off my clothes throwing them on the floor and I climb into bed draping my softest blanket over my body, instantly warming me. I close my eyes feeling useless and lonely, turning on my music to drown out the pounding thoughts in my head. NO!! I won't let the pain through, NO!! I refuse to let it overtake me, NO!! I won't I-I won't. I sit in bed willing the tears to stay away, yelling at my pain to leave me alone; a single tear falls down my cheek, NO!! I don't want to cry anymore, NO!! I want to be happy, p-please just let me be happy. I sob into my hands and let myself drown in the ocean of sadness that has been waiting to overtake me. I struggle to breathe as I fall fall fall deeper into an ocean of loss and loneliness. NO!! I don't w-want to fall, NO!! I-I don't want to be alone, PLEASE!! I fall back onto my bed, my body shaking as if there was an earthquake inside me, and the tears fall down my cheeks against my pleads for them not to. I feel completely vulnerable as my tears continue to fall. I finally catch my breath after struggling for a while, and I close my eyes drifting off into a deep sleep as the last tear falls.
ВИ ЧИТАЄТЕ
Just Some Shit
Щоденники та біографіїI write things down when I don't want to forget what I was feeling at a certain time and place. I don't have to be happy or joyful to want to remember, sometimes I want to remember the pain, and the anger I've felt so I wrote it down I hope if you r...
