Always. (A Draco Malfoy Story)

The Last Fight.

I spent all my time by Mother's make-shift grave. From the time I woke up until the time I get ready for bed.

I could hear Binky check up on me every now and then, asking if I need anything from him, but I always turn him away.
Draco's tried to see me a few times too, but I can't deal with him right now. So he only watches me from afar.

Binky keeps my wand away from me, scared that I might harm myself or anyone else that comes near me. Understandable. Given my history, I do tend to lash out in emotional states.

The sky gets darker and grey, as clouds begin to fill the once clear sky. I could feel soft drops of rain fall on my face as I look up to the sky. I take in a deep sigh, before retreating to the house. I may as well not get sick, and decide to hang around the house.

I don't even know what day it is. All the days kind of blurred into one when you're just... numb.
I stood in the shower, letting the hot water drip against my skin. This is the closest feeling to comfort I could get at this point. The only moment where I can relax, and breathe, and for a quick second, just forget that my life is all the way fucked up.

I get out of the bathroom and see Draco standing in the middle of my bedroom, facing away from me.
I sigh, "Draco, I'm too tired for anything right now. Please leave."
He stays quiet. I talk again, "Draco... please. I'll talk to you when I'm ready."

"What is...this?" His voice is soft as he grips a piece of parchment in his hand.

I walked closer to him, "What are you doing here? What is that?" I look over to my bed where I see an envelope addressed to me... with Harry's handwriting.

I snatch the envelope from the top of my bed, and examine it in my hands. "...Why are you reading my letters?"

Draco turns around to face me, his eyes filled with rage.
He speaks slowly, "Why is Hedwig delivering letters to you? Why is my fiancée secretly sending letters to Harry Potter?!"

I roll my eyes, "It's not a secret, Draco! We already went over this. You know that I talk to him sometimes!" I start to walk away from him, annoyed and still tired. He starts to shout, "SO YOU'RE TELLING ME, THAT THIS ENTIRE TIME, YOU WERE STILL TALKING TO HIM?!"
I scoff, "Yes, Draco! He's my friend! And so is Hermione... kind of." I trail off for a bit, "So I suggest you'd stop using slurs to belittle them!" He huffs and sits on the edge of my bed, as I add on, "I never said I was going to stop talking to him!"
He scoffs, "So what is this about then?!"

He throws the parchment onto the ground in front of me. I crouch down, grab the letter from the ground, and begin to read:

Joy,

I believe you. I trust you.

But I still don't trust Draco.

Harry

I roll my eyes, "He keeps telling me to stay away from you cause he's still stuck on the idea of you being a Death Eater!"

I'm so fucking exhausted... mentally, physically, emotionally. Why is Draco picking a fight with me right now?

Draco yells some more, "Well, I am one!" I scream back, "SO AM I! But it's not exactly something you can announce to everyone, right?!" Draco scoffs at my words, as if I making up any rule of excuse to avoid being yelled at.

I desperately plead, "I'm trying to throw him off of our trail, Draco! I'm talking to him for YOU! To protect you!"

He rolls his eyes and throws his hands up in the air, "Don't give me that bullshit, Joy! Don't blame this shit on me!"
Who fucking said—? I yell out, "I'm not blaming it on you!"

This argument was obviously not going anywhere. I'm too fucking tired of dealing with this bullshit.

Of dealing with the Dark Mark.

Of dealing with my father.

Of dealing with Draco.

Of dealing with being lied to.

I'm just so. Fucking. Tired.

Tired of being so fucking alone when I just need someone to be on my side for once. Wholeheartedly, with no question.

Just drop everything and support me. Be there for me. When I desperately need it.

All this frustration brings tears to my eyes again. I can't keep fucking crying.
I've cried more in the past few days than I have ever cried in my entire life.

I cry out, "Fuck, Draco! I'm fucking tired! Can you just fucking hug me or something?!"
I'm desperate. I just need him to drop this and we can talk about it later. I just need the man I love so fucking much to put his fucking ego aside and fucking BE THERE FOR ME.

But of course, Draco Lucius Malfoy doesn't work that way.

I began to sob as I fall to the floor, back to hyperventilating again. Draco scoffs, "Crying will get you no where, Joy." He rolls his eyes, "Fuck this, I'm out of here."

I hear him walking away from me, I look up and see him walking towards the door. "Wait... Where are you going?!" I plead.

"Draco?"

"DRACO!"

-

(A/N: Oct. 18, 2020 Shoutout to @angelmalfoyidk for foreseeing the 'letters from Harry' argument, literally as I was revising the draft for it! 💕)