Open Case File [COMPLETED]

Fighting Back

But fear told her it would be easier if he left now then later on when she couldn't imagine living a life without him.

He didn't complete her, but around him, she felt whole.

"No, I don't," she said.

"You should probably stop pushing him away then."

Carter laughed. The solution sounded so easy, but in practice felt impossible. She felt trapped in a tug-a-war with her present self and past self, both equally stubborn.

When she spotted Donovan heading back to her, she wondered if she'd ever stop loving the way he walked, the way the sunlight cast shadows on his face making it sharper. It felt terrifying to know that he cared for her because all she could think about is how that could all go away.

As if aligning with her thoughts, she noticed in the anger in his eyes.

He stopped before her, thrusting the coffee cup at her.

"If you want to break up with me have the guts to do it," he said almost growling in frustration. "If you don't understand how much I care for you now then maybe you should end this because I'm done with you putting me through stupid tests." 

Grabbing his books, Donovan shoved them into his bag.

"Link let's go to class."

Scrambling, Link gathered up his stuff as well and followed Donovan, throwing Carter a startled, sympathetic glance. As they walked away, Carter felt like someone had shot her. They drew further away, but Carter could still see Donovan's anger in the way he walked, in the line of his shoulders, in the curl of his fists. She'd pushed him too far.

Every fear she had of losing him slammed into her as she watched it playing out, immobile while Donovan left her behind. Images of her mother walking out a door as her father just stood there flashed in her mind.

Carter blinked, her cheeks wet without her realizing why. Part of her knew she needed to go after him. He hadn't said he wanted to break up, but the weak, damaged part of herself sat like a stone on her, keeping her rooted to the grass. The part of her telling her that it might be better this way.

Without comprehending how it happened, her phone sat in her hand, pressed to her ear.

"Hello Carter darling, are you alright?"

The soft, gentle voice soothed and convicted Carter.

"I pushed your son too far," she said.

"Ah, why don't you tell me what happened?"

Through a tight throat, Carter gave a brief explanation.

"I see," Eleanor said. "You tested him. Carter, did you not realize that in return he was testing you?"

Carter palmed her cheeks, trying to get her eyes to stop sweating. "Why?"

"Because sweetie, he understands your past. He wants to see if you will let this be the end of you two, or if you will be the fighter he knows you to be and overcome the hurt you still carry with you."

Carter didn't feel like a fighter right then, she felt like a broken girl.

"I'm going to hang up," Eleanor said. "You know what you need to do. I hope you have the strength to do it."

The line went dead and Carter sat frozen, staring at the place where Donovan and Link had disappeared. When her phone beeped she glanced at it, wishing it to be Donovan, but it wasn't.

"He loves you, Carter, the question is do you love him?"

Behind Eleanor's message, Carter saw the picture of Donovan and her. Maddy had taken it without them knowing. They were grinning at each other like they had finished a long debate and were ready for another one.