Dre Lives On

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Roxi's POV

7 days later.

I let out a shaky breath, flicking my tongue over my lower lip as I took a step forward, and then another, climbing up the podium in the chapel. I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled, tasting the salt in my tears as I ran my hand quickly over my face.

Inhale, exhale.

I reached for the microphone the priest was holding out to me and then sighed before I turned to face the congregation seated in front of me.

When I first heard the news of Dre's suicide, it had hit me harder than anything in the world  ever had. I still found it hard to believe that he was gone. Even now, at his funeral.

Inhale, exhale.

I glanced down at the black sandals I had on and then drew in a deep breath, raising my gaze once more as I raised the microphone to my mouth and drew in a deep breath. I let my eyes drift towards Keenan who sat beside Jason in the front row of the church. Although he had managed to clean up today, his eyes were bloodshot. He had managed to shave his long overgrown subtle and today, he had managed to stay off the alcohol.

Keen was a mess.

I hadn't seen him this way since Megan.

I breathed softly and then shifted my gaze to Jason, then Mum, and then Will. I let out another soft breath as my eyes moved to Maece, and then Paul. To the workers from the office, to Magdalene who stayed next door, to George, and to Dorothy, the lady who cleaned Dre's suite whenever he was out.

Everybody Dre loved and respected was here.

"Uhm-" I started. "As many of you know, the deceased, Andre Humphrey Monroe was my older brother." I said, glancing around the church.

I could feel tears gathering in my eyes but I shook my head, determined to get to the end of my eulogy before I broke down to the point I wouldn't be able to speak anymore.

I needed people to hear what I had to say.

When news about Dre's confession got round, it had given most people the impression that Andre Monroe was a crazy murderer and a psychopath.

The world had cursed him, condemned him.

They had said that he deserved to die.

And some had said that he died too easily.

Once, someone had walked up to me when I was buying my dress for the funeral and had asked how I managed to grow up sane, having a psychopath as a brother.
And I had stared at her for an entire minute because I didn't know how else to react.

I had just stared at her until Will took me away and led me to the car.

I had broken down afterwards because it was all I could do.

Because it tore my heart that people would say such insensitive things about Dre.

He was literally one of the best people I knew.

And I wasn't saying that simply because he was family.

I was saying it because I meant it.

Because Dre was selfless. Because Dre was the only one of us who had barely ever gotten the chance to be happy. He had had so much taken from him and yet he had managed to think about others still. About the rest of us.

He had never been given a choice.

Destiny never gave him a choice. Never gave him the opportunity to choose who he wanted to be, to choose the life that he wanted.

Finally, the long anticipated end was here, the grand finale.

The nightmare that we all sought an end to.

It was all over and we were all standing. All except Andre. In the end, he was the villain the world saw. He was the bad thing while the rest of us had gotten away unscathed. He had taken the fall for us, protected us, saved us.

Inhale, exhale.

"When I think about my life growing up, I think about Dre." I said, smiling sadly before I sniffed. "When I think about life as an adult, I uh-" I paused, my forehead creasing. "I think about Dre too." I breathed, quickly brushing away a drop of tear when it fell down my cheek. "You see, Andre grew from being the brother who played hide and seek with me as a child, to the man whose shoulder I cried on as an adult." I said and then sniffed, meeting Keenan's gaze. "Andre was one of the strongest people I know. He cried when he was hurt." I turned to Jason. "And he protected selflessly when he loved." I continued, biting down on my lower lip. "And I know that some of you here came here with doubts in your heart after you heard what the news reporters had to say about him." I said, tears blurring my vision as I glanced around the church once more. "And it's true that Dre was fighting a lot of silent battles." I nodded, lowering my gaze for a second. "It's true that he spent his entire life fighting with his demons." I said, choking back a sob.

Dre spent his entire life worrying about this moment.

About the moment of truth.

He had been terrified about how these very people within the walls of this church would react once the truth came out.

He had been worried that they would all turn their backs on him.

And now that the time was here, he wasn't even here to witness it.

"And now that Dre is finally resting, I hope you don't forget the good he did while he was still alive. And I hope that those are the memories that stay with you." I said, sniffing when I saw Keenan rise from his seat, exchanging a few words with mother before he began to walk towards the doors. I breathed softly through my mouth. "I hope you remember the moments when Dre smiled." I said, my voice breaking as I turned to look at Paul. "The moments when he randomly helped carry your groceries, the moments when he helped fix your broken pipes at home." I sniffed, turning to Magdalene. "I hope you remember Dre for who he was and not for the mistakes that he made." I said, choking back a sob.

And I hope that Dre finds the peace he had always sought after.

Without hesitation, I set the microphone on the pulpit and then hurried down the stage. I saw Will stand from his seat, his face clouded with worry but I shook my head, gesturing for him to sit as I made for the doors, holding on tightly to the hem of my black dress. I stepped outside and then let out an exasperated sigh, letting my eyes scan through the environment.

It wasn't hard to find him, Keenan.

He stood under a tree a few paces away from the church and he had his left hand tucked in the left pocket of his jeans as he paced. His gaze was lowered to the ground and he was an utter and complete mess.

It shattered me to see him like this.

In an instant, I was calling out to him at the top of my lungs, racing towards him as fast as my legs could carry me.

And the moment I got to where he was standing, I threw myself at him, wrapping my hands around his neck.

He wrapped his hands around me instantly, letting out heavy breaths as he cried into my shoulder.

"I f-failed, Xi." He sobbed. "I failed. I failed Andre. I failed D-Dre. I couldn't control it. I could not, I could not control the damage and now, Dre, he's gone." He wept, his voice breaking.

I sniffed, running my fingers through his hair in a poor attempt to soothe him.

"What am I going to do now, Roxi? Dre is gone." He continued. "We can never get him back. He-He's gone." He continued and for a minute, I couldn't speak.

I couldn't control my tears either.

But when I could finally muster the courage to say something, I ran my fingers through his hair one more time and then sniffed.

"Dre isn't gone, Keen." I breathed, my voice quivering. "He lives through us from now on." I told him before I sniffed. "Dre lives on."

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