Hurting

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Keenan's POV

Kimberly was watching me. Intently.

Her eyes had watched my every move, unmoving since we left the hospital.

Her gaze was curious and I could tell she was dying to ask questions but she wasn't sure whether or not to since she had promised that she wouldn't.

I knew that she had sensed the tension in the room when she and William had returned from their coffee run.

I also knew that when morning came, she wouldn't be with me. I knew that tomorrow held everything I was afraid of.
Loosing Kimberly, having my family torn apart, judgement.

It terrified me.

There was so much I needed to say, so much I needed to do, but so little time.

Under different circumstances, I would never let Jason watch mum alone even if he begged to. But tonight, I had thankfully grabbed the rope when he offered.

I drew in a deep breath as I pulled over in front of the mansion. I was hesitant to move, hesitant to turn, hesitant to speak.

Because if I did, then what?

What would I say?

How could I possibly justify my actions before the woman I loved?

How could I make her see things the way I saw them?

If I told her everything, if I told her I only did it to protect Jason, to protect Andre, if I told her I only did it to protect the one thing in the world that mattered to me, would she understand?

Would she choose to stay?

"Keenan." She breathed softly, her voice barely above a whisper, pulling me away from my thoughts. On impulse, I turned to face her and I immediately regretted it. She drew in a deep breath, her eyes searching mine. "Are you okay?" She asked slowly.

Of course I wasn't.

My heart was in pieces, and my life was on the verge of falling apart.

But if she would stay with me after this, if she could choose me, maybe I could start all over again. Maybe the criticism from the rest of the world wouldn't matter so much.

But was it possible?

Could she choose me? Would she?

"Of course you're not." She added, letting out an exasperated sigh. "D-did something happen at the hospital?" She raised an eyebrow, her cheeks flustered. "I-I know I promised not to ask any questions b-but

"If-" She paused. "If you're not comfortable with just Jason looking after her, I-I can spend the night at the hospital and watch over her, I don't m-" She continued.

"Kimberly, Kim-" I reached for her hand.

Would she still worry about me?

Lowering my gaze, I scoffed, feeling a small smile find it's way to my lips.

Of course she wouldn't.

I had known from the start, that it was bound to end this way.

And I owed it to her at the very least, to have her hear it from me before the cops showed up at our doorstep. I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled, raising my gaze to meet hers once more.

"There's something I need to tell you." I said slowly and then bit down on my lower lip. "But first of all," I paused, reaching for the black file on the back seat. "I need you to sign this now." I said slowly, handing the file to her. Her eyebrows furrowed as she reached for the book in my hand, her hands shaky.

"Keenan-" She started, her voice barely above whisper level as she flipped through the pages. "What is this?" She asked, looking to to face me.

"Kimberley, please, trust me." 'One last time.' I told her, my voice pleading. Making her sign it would never make things right, I knew that. But it was better than doing nothing. She was quiet for a few seconds, her eyes searching mine and she must have sensed my desperation because she nodded almost immediately afterwards and then reached for the pen, signing on the dotted line right beside my signature.

I released a shaky breath, reaching for the file as she handed it back to me.

"What's going on, Keenan?" She asked her voice shaky.

It was difficult to look at her, difficult to speak, difficult knowing that this was the end. But I had to.

It was time to come clean.

"Kim-" I started slowly. "What do you know about dissociative identity disorder?" I asked, lowering my gaze. It was an absurd way to start, I was aware. But it was a start.

Roxi's POV

I walked into the room behind Will and let out a shaky breath, my hands trembling as I wrapped my fingers around the door knob and pulled the door close.

My heart was racing, my head was racing.

I could feel Will standing behind me just as much as I could feel his gaze burning through the back of my neck.

"Baby," He breathed. I felt him wrap his arms around me, his body warmth enveloping me. "You're trembling." He said softly, his voice laced with concern. I felt tears cloud my vision instantly, my breath hitching. I shut my eyes and then let out a shaky breath.

I had done so well these past few years.

I had done a very big job at being strong.

And now that things were finally going to be over, it seemed like I needed to be even stronger. I needed to be strong enough to handle the cops, I needed to be strong enough to handle the press, and I needed to be strong enough to handle Will's reaction.

My heart was racing and I was scared shitless.

Because I didn't know how he would react, this man that I loved, I didn't know how he would look at me after the truth came out. I didn't know if he would want to be with me after the truth came out. And because I didn't want to loose him.

I wanted to go to Bel-Air, and I wanted to have my kids there. I wanted to wake up next to Will until the day I drew in my last breath.

"Come what may." Keenan had said and I let the words play in my head over and over again. I sniffed, raising my hand to clean my tears away from my face. Maybe after all this was over, we could all finally be free. Maybe we wouldn't have to be prisoners anymore. And maybe, just maybe, Will wouldn't judge me. Maybe he would stay.

I felt Will pull away from me, my body immediately missing his warmth. He wrapped his hand around my arms and then turned me around so I was facing him.

"What's going on, Xi?" His asked, his hands cupping my cheeks as he lowered his head to meet my gaze. His eyes were laced with worry as they searched mine. "Talk to me, love." He added, his voice barely above whisper level and I shut my eyes for the second time, drawing in a deep breath.

"Will," I breathed, opening my eyes. "Will, I did a very bad thing." I started my voice breaking. "I've done a lot of bad things and I'm so- I'm so scared, Will." I stammered, sobbing now. "I don't want to loose you." I added, my voice barely above whisper level.

I felt his hands slide down from my arms, moving downwards until they found my hands and he held on to each of my hands, lacing our fingers together.

"Come here." He said, gently pulling me towards the bed. He sat down before he pulled me to sit beside him. "I will never leave your side, Xi." He said, raising his hand to my right cheek. I sniffed and then bit down on my lower lip. "Never." He echoed, his eyes searching mine. "So tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it. Whatever it is, I'll fix it, okay?" He raised an eyebrow and I whimpered, raising my hand to clean my tears away from my face.

It wasn't his problem to fix.

And he would never be able to fix it no matter how he tried.

But he was right.

It was time for me to come clean.

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