What Happens in the Dark

Chapter 55

The white chapel stood on a hill in front of a cemetery. We attended this church a couple times when my mom was still trying to get clean, but that didn't last long.

People I didn't recognize were walking into the chapel dressed in black. I braced myself before walking in. I wasn't ready, but I knew I had to.

There were people crying and sitting around in silence. I got a few stares and heard whispers as Monroe, Briana, and I walked in.

That's his daughter.

Such a shame she wasn't enough for him to drop the drugs.

He was a good man, but drugs mattered more to him.

I waved off the comments and noticed Monroe's jaw clenching as he struggled not to tell them anything. We continued to walk until I found an empty row. I saw my mother at the end of the room, but I didn't go see her, I didn't want to see her honestly, and I wish she would've stayed at Uncle Ron's. Monroe placed his hand on my back, but I didn't react. I saw my father's casket open at the end of the room. I couldn't stop staring, and I was terrified to walk up there. I continued to debate with myself about what I would do, but I didn't want any more regrets.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood up slowly. "You want me to come with you?" Monroe asked.

I kept my eyes on the casket and shook my head no, wanting to say goodbye alone. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on me, but I pretended it was just my father and I. I thought about the day he spoke to me through Esther. The casket continued to get closer and closer. I braced myself for what I was about to see.

I looked down seeing my tan father, looking pale. His dark black hair was combed back revealing the wrinkles in his eyes and forehead. I stood there taking in his appearance. He was wearing a black turtle neck and his hands were folded over his stomach.

"I can't believe this is how we're meeting again dad." I whispered feeling the tears coming. I gripped the sides of the casket hard trying to regain my self control. "I know we talked through Esther, but that wasn't enough. You should have searched for me dad. I needed you." I took in a deep breath realizing this lifeless shell of a body wasn't my father, and that his soul is at peace. I turned away slowly meeting the gazes of over thirty people staring at me. I looked down at my feet and walked back to the aisle Monroe and Briana were in. They both squeezed my arms giving me unsaid support.

Soft music started to play and a preacher came to the podium. I blocked out mostly everything he was saying until I heard him call my name. I looked up frozen with fear.

"Your father would've loved for you to say a few words." The preacher suggested. I wanted so badly to say no, but the stares in the room were pressuring me.

"You can do it." Monroe encouraged giving me a half smile. I sighed and stood up walking up the steps to the podium.

"Um." I started, "I didn't have anything prepared, so I guess this will just come from the heart." I took a pause trying to think of what I could even say. "I don't have many memories of my father, but a lot of them, were really good. He loved music, I actually love the same music as him now. He loved to write, which I also get from him, and he loved me. He wrote me letters, for years," I said glaring at my mother who looked down, "even when I never responded, he kept writing." As I was speaking the back doors opened up and an unfamiliar tall pale man with a scar across his cheet wearing all black entered the room. Monroe turned around and clenched his jaw.

"Um, as I was saying," I tried to keep going, but I could sense Monroe's distress. He whispered something to Briana and she nodded her head making a confused face. Monroe stood up and walked to the back and the man followed him out.

"My dad, would be thankful that you are all here today, and on behalf of him, thank you." I climbed down the steps and rushed over to Bri.

"Who was that?" I asked confused

"I don't know, but I promised Monroe I wouldn't let you follow him, so please don't he said he would explain everything later." She whispered.

"What? I don't understand?" I was still completely puzzled and my gut felt nauseous something wasn't right, but I couldn't leave my own fathers funeral. I just couldn't. I sat there trying to concentrate on the preachers words, but my mind kept trailing off to Monroe, I just hoped he was okay, but something felt so wrong.