Show me the way

XXVI: Medicated

Kakashi walked to the hospital. After the conversation with the Hokage he had been so excited he had almost walked home. As soon as he realised, he turned around and made his way to the hospital. Since he found himself near the shopping district anyway, he stopped to buy a gift. It wasn't much, but it was better than turning up empty handed.

He entered the hospital and registered himself with the nurse. She was smiling and reassured him over Shizuka's condition, though she gave no details and told Kakashi he needed to wait for another nurse before being allowed to enter the room Shizuka was in.

She also told Kakashi he was registered as the person to contact should there be any complications and handed him over the ruined shirt Shizuka had been wearing. "We've had a lot of trouble getting him sedated before the procedure. He gave us your name as next of kin. I trust this is correct?" She asked, still smiling. Kakashi nodded and smiled behind his mask. Shizuka practically called him his family and Kakashi would have never guessed that it would make him this happy. It made his stomach flutter.

He sat in the waiting room as time ticked by. Every minute felt like it took a little longer than the one before, but all in all he only waited for half an hour. A woman in a white coat approached him. "Hatake-san?" She called out. He stood up and followed her. She was already walking down a hallway deeper into the hospital. It was quiet in this hallway. More so than the other hallways. Not a lot of visitors seemed to be allowed into this wing.

She led him to the last room in the hallway. "Here we are. A nice and quiet room. Now I must warn you, he has had a lot of medication. And I mean a lot. He hasn't been very responsive to them, but when we did reach the point where it affected him, it hit a little harder then we expected. He might be a little... incoherent. But it is better than having him in pain. So don't be too surprised if he doesn't make any sense." She said. "His wounds are covered, but they are still open wounds. It's best not to touch him to prevent complications. Just ring for a nurse should any kind of assistance be needed." She made a small bow and started to walk away, leaving Kakashi standing for a closed door. "Oh, and Hatake-san. Don't keep him awake too long. The poor man really needs to sleep as much as possible." She said with a smile and then walked away without looking back again.

Kakashi sighed and turned back to the door. For some reason he was nervous. He didn't want to see Shizuka injured like this, but at least he wasn't in any pain according to the nurse. Kakashi just hoped Shizuka would appreciate his presence. And not find it too much.

He quietly opened the door and slipped inside. The curtains were closed, leaving the white room less bright, but it didn't stop a lot of light from flooding the room. There was only one bed in the room, making it more private, but most likely it was a way to prevent complications to Shizuka's wounds. Shizuka was sleeping. He was on his side. Kakashi saw he had pillows as supports against his back and his belly to keep him from turning in his sleep onto his healing wounds. The blanket only covered his legs. The rest of him was covered in a plastic wrap-like material to keep the wounds clean and prevent them from drying out. For the same reason the room was kept warmer than the other rooms to prevent Shizuka from being cold.

Kakashi took another deep breath, hating the smell of sterilizers that always seemed to linger in hospitals, and walked over to the bed. Quietly, he pulled up a chair, and sat himself as close as possible to Shizuka's face. Shizuka seemed peaceful, sleeping like this. Relaxed. Kakashi couldn't help but let his eyes wander over Shizuka's sleeping form. Even relaxed like this, Kakashi could easily make out the outlines of Shizuka's muscles, and also the fact that despite Kakashi's best efforts to keep Shizuka eating properly, his ribs were still showing too much.

Kakashi looked at Shizuka's face, gently removing a few stray strands from his face. It was the first time Kakashi truly realised just how young Shizuka really was and lying amongst the white sheets seemed to hammer that point home. How old was Shizuka anyway? He realised he didn't actually know. But it was clear to him Shizuka was definitely younger than him. At least a couple of years.

He placed his gift on the small bedside table and turned his attention back to Shizuka. He looked cute, the way he slept. Just looking at his face almost made Kakashi forget where they were and why Shizuka was there. Kakashi smiled. He was just happy being close to Shizuka.

Kakashi dared to caress Shizuka's cheek again, feeling the soft skin run underneath his fingers. The light touch was enough to rouse Shizuka from his sleep. For a moment he seemed lost, before his eyes found Kakashi's face and Shizuka's face broke into the most genuine smile Kakashi had ever seen on his face. It looked absolutely amazing. "Hey." Kakashi said, running his fingers over Shizuka's cheek.

Shizuka tried to speak and looked surprised when no sound was heard. He almost looked cross-eyed as he chewed his tongue and felt his throat, like he was trying to see his own neck. "Sorry if I woke you." Kakashi kept his voice low. He didn't want to disturb the otherwise tranquil room too much. Shizuka's eyes found Kakashi again and he smiled again. He shook his head. 'It's fine.' His hands seemed unusually steady as he signed. Probably another effect of the medication, Kakashi guessed.

"Are you in pain?" Again Shizuka shook his head, smiling again.

"Why'd you think you could talk?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask. He was curious. Shizuka frowned. It seemed to take some effort to think the question over. 'I thought I might be dead too.' He smiled again, looking giddy.

"What? Why would you think that?" What did Shizuka mean with 'too'? This wasn't really helping Kakashi understand Shizuka, but then again, the nurse did warn him Shizuka would be out of it a little.

'Silly Kakashi... because you died.' Shizuka giggled and smiled.

"But I'm not dead." Kakashi said, emphasizing his words by placing his hand on Shizuka's cheek again. Shizuka seemed really out of it, so maybe physical contact would make him realise he wasn't making sense.

'I know, but you did die. Everyone died. Sasuke, Sakura, you... everyone... except me...' Shizuka frowned again. It was clear Shizuka wasn't really clear in his mind and Kakashi felt a little guilty for asking questions now that he knew Shizuka had non of his usual defences. He really should stop asking questions and wait for Shizuka to come to himself again. But...

"I don't understand what you mean. I never died. If I had died, I would be, well, dead, and I'm not. I'm right here." He said. Shizuka shook his head again. The small movement seemed to leave him a little dizzy, so he chuckled again at the feeling it left in his stomach.

'You didn't die now, you died later. Or before?' For a moment Shizuka lost focus, blinking a few times and thinking hard on something. 'I was really sad, you know? It hurt...' The memories that Kakashi knew had been hunting Shizuka seemed to bubble to the surface again. 'I don't want to lose you again...' Tears formed in his eyes as he reached out to hold on to Kakashi's shirt.

"It's alright, I'm right here. I won't leave you." Kakashi said, stroking more hair out of Shizuka's face and grabbing hold of Shizuka's hand. "Calm down, sweetie, you'll be alright. It's okay." Shizuka blinked his tears away as he nodded. Kakashi felt Shizuka's grip on his hand tighten a little more.

"Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up, alright?" Shizuka nodded. Still holding Kakashi's hand left him unable to respond beyond that, but really, he didn't need to say anymore.

Kakashi placed his arm on the bed and his head on top of his arm. He tilted his head so he was looking straight at Shizuka. He touched Shizuka's nose with his finger, gaining a content smile from Shizuka. Kakashi returned the smile. "Sleep well. I love you." He whispered, watching Shizuka's eyes close slowly.

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